Helping my husband after a traumatic labour

[Chase]

My youngest is almost 4 years old, my husband and I have had a bumpy ride getting to the decision to ttc baby number 3.

He has confided in me that he would love another baby but he never ever wants me to be I. Labour again.

With my second there were 2 true knots in the cord. No one in our room had ever seen in and I wish I had taken a photo! His heart stopped every time I pushed but we didn't know why until he was born. He was blue and he wasn't breathing and required resuscitation.

I was focused on the job at hand, I had to push him out and quickly, there was a 7 ft Dr with a pair of forceps threatening to drag him out. I pushed him out in 3 mins after a very quick labour (4cm to pushing in under 10 mins after increasing the hormone drip)

He says he feels traumatised, he saw it all, I didn't so I don't have the same memories.

He doesn't want counselling, but can anyone else think of ways I can help him?

I've thought about pre screened. Wbem? Not sure he would be up for that though

 

[Donna88]

How would you both feel about a planned c-section if you had a third?

Obviously I know c-sections aren't the easy answer; but would he feel more comfortable knowing it was more controlled

 

[Akua]

Could you speak to your midwife / hospital and schedule in for a birth debrief? Sometimes having a discussion about what happened and why helps

 

[Chase]

Is it not too late for that? He's nearly 4

 

[Vintageling]

Just read your journal hun and the focusing in the positives is a good Thu g for sure but ask him what scares him about it. I spoke my my other half about trying for a baby and we spoke about his concerns and when he realised we could manage all the concerns he had be was happy then

 

[Chase]

We've had that chat and it's just that it could happen again, we've never had a good experience and it's hit him pretty hard I can't guarantee that it wo t go tits up again either

 

[Princess81]

You can debrief from your births for up to 25 years after Hun.

 

[Vintageling]

Yea I totally understand where he is coming from as it's so hard watching your loved one be in danger ect like fair enough it's not birth but I have to deal with awful medical scenarios with my mum and it's so hard but we talk about it and we have plans set out for if this happens we do this ect