Help now I am going to be a single mum

[lells18]

Sorry to post such a depressing post but I am looking for a bit more advice. After planning our future and planning for a baby my other half decided just before our 12 week scan that he couldn’t be in a relationship and didn’t know what he wanted. So I have had to move back to my parents for the time being (which has been a bit of a nightmare, they mean well but have been a bit overbearing). I am looking for housing etc and I am trying to plan for the future. I know I am not the first person that this has happened to and sadly I am sure I will not be the last but I was wondering if anyone has ever been in touch with anyone or anywhere that has given good advice or support and maybe able to help. I am doing okay for the time being but feel I need a little more support. My ex has said he plans to be involved but that has been a little difficult of late and not sure he is capable of it and whether I have faith in him to cope with it all judging by the way he has acted of late. Any help would be much appreciated.
Thanks x

 

[hugsy]

Hey Hun dont have experience of this my self but from friends with children whos OH have left them the most important thing they were advised to do was to get something in writing in reagards to maintaniance and visiting rights ect and unfortunitly if things dont work out you may need to go to the courts to get something legal sorted to ensure you get the help you need from him

Afraid i dont have much advice on the emotional side but im sure there are lots of support groups, Maybe ask in your local health centre or google in your area and see what you can find

Im sure there are a good few single mums on here that can help too and those of us who arent will still try our best

 

[LouiseB]

There are single parents forums around like on netmums:
http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/advice-support-40/single-parents-support-45/

I'm sorry about your situation Google will sort you out

 

[DeeLT]

Hey hon... Sorry to hear this. It's tough enough being pregnant at the best of times let along going through a breakup at the same time.

I don't have a personal experience as such, however totally agree with hugsy - make sure you get the appropriate legal and emotional support.

I got divorced about 5 years ago now and while there were no children involved, you kind of realise that you see the worst in someone you once loved in those types of situations.

The other thing I would say is that my OH and his ex split up when my stepson was 6 months, again a really stressful time for all involved and unfortunately 5 years on there are still times when they cannot sort out their differences even over the smallest of things to do with childcare. Have you tried mediation or counselling with your ex? While it might not bring you back together having a 3rd party in the room can help air everyone’s views in a non confrontational environment. It could be worth a try.

Make sure you spend as much time as you can with friends and family and don’t be afraid to ask for help – once I finally realised that people were there to support and not judge me for leaving my marriage it made it much easier to move forward.

Sending you lots of hugs x

 

[lells18]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am just struggling to know what to deal with at first at the moment and although my friends and family have been fantastic but they all have their options and thoughts on what I should do and it becomes overwhelming.
I will check out the sites that you have suggested, hopefully that will give me as start. thanks xx

 

[Kerrieanne]

Wow what a blow!! You poor thing, i'm so sorry hun

What a W**ker, sorry but we are all thinking it!

I can't offer any advice i'm afraid but stick with those who care about you, your friends and family, that's most important.

I think you are a brave and sensibile woman asking for help, your little bubba has a strong Mummy here!

All the best darling all you need to care about is you and baby, hope you find the info your looking for xx

 

[charlie26]

Sorry to be reading this, i dont have personal experiance but id defo get things wrote down and get him to sign. Like someone has already said you may need it later on. No matter what happens with ur ex, just be the best mum u could possibly be. There will be times when its hard, but you will also be the one to get all the rewards, first steps, first word. You can never get them moments back. Your child will grow up and learn who has been there and who hasnt. Good luck for the future xx