Help - i am so scared (even hosp waiting room makes me cry)

[Naterjack]

Every night when i go to bed i start worrying about giving birth to our little man
This is our first baby and i have been fine up to now but since i had my consultants appointment i have been a mess and i dont know why

I was referred as i am only 4ft 11 tall. Baby was breech on Monday when they did a quick scan and the consultant told me that if he was still breech at 36 weeks then they wouldnt let me attempt a natural birth and i would have to have a c-section.....and that if the Royal Oxford had their way they would book me in for a C section if he was showing as breech at 34 weeks.

SO ... i have a growth scan at 34 weeks and a further consultant appt at 36 weeks to see if he is breech = c-section, or if he is too big = c-section. If not breech and under 8lb's then he will decide whether i can try for a normal birth.

Now my mum had 3 c-sections and tells me theres nothing to worry about, but in fact i am now scared stiff of both a normal birth in case of complications (like bleeding to death) or a c-section (mainly because i am scared stiff that they will give me an epidural in the wrong place - like that case that happened a few years ago )

I cried for an hour last night as i couldnt get it out of my mind and i am worried about going to AN class tonight aswell as its all about pain relief. I managed to force myself to the docs this morning for my blood tests and i was actually quite calm for me, but on Monday i ended up blubbing in the waiting room as it all got too much. I def dont want a home birth as i want to be in the safest place possible BUT i am just so scared

Am i mad ??
Please tell me some good stories or both normal & c-section births - dont know how i am going to cope with the next 10 weeks or so if i cant get my mind round it all.

Sorry for being so silly

 

[NICCI]

awww hun dont stress yourself out!!!
its true what they say u do 4get all bout the birth when u look at your LO!
i was really lucky with my labour i got to the hospital just in time and gave birth without any drugs! It hurt but it was soooo worth it! xxxxxx

why dont u have a read of some birth stories in the new arrivals section! xxxxxx

 

[kalia]

I wanted to address your worry about the epidural. I am not familiar with the case you mention but remember if that woman was in labour then she was having to stay still during contractions and I imagine that makes the anaesthetist's job far harder.

Epidurals are given during labour because they can be topped up as there is a catheter left in your back. If you are having a caesarian they won't give you an epidural, it will be a spinal block. It's a one off injection and the needle is narrower as there is no catheter to put in. I had this after 55 hours as baby was stuck and I didn't feel it happen. They inject you with anaesthetic first so it won't hurt and that feels no worse than when they take blood. I had no pain in my back at all afterwards - no bruising, no surface pain and I couldn't even see where it was done. You will be fine

Also, you won't bleed to death. If you are at home and start haemorrhaging then an ambulance will be there in minutes. If you're in hospital you can be rushed straight to theatre. In the hospital where I gave birth there are over 4000 births a year and no maternal deaths. I could list millions of things that are more likely to kill you but that would be a boring thread So I'll just say that you have a higher chance of dying from being run over in the next 3 months than you do of bleeding to death giving birth.

The thing is, you know this. You know that where you live there are hundreds or thousands of babies being born every year where you live and that you have heard very little news of things going wrong. You also will see newspaper reports every week of people dying in car accidents but you won't be scared of going in the car. What you are scared of is the unknown and that is completely normal. I found it helped to watch birthing programs (especially Dawn has a baby) so that I wasn't going into the unknown. And after a tour of the midwife unit and labour ward I was far more relaxed and happy about things because I had seen where I would be and what it was like. Also while we were there we heard a woman giving birth and it was nothing like a TV birth - the ones that happen in 15 minutes of constant screaming There was swearing but it didn't sound like she was being torn apart by wolves like it does on TV.

 

[Jenny123]

I had an email from a lady in my AN class yesterday, she gave birth to a lovely baby girl on the due date and didn't need any pain relief at all not even gas and air.

It has really inspired me and made me look forward to labour and also meeting my LO

 

[KERRYGOLD00]

.

 

[trixipaws]

im not quite as little as u but im not tall (5'4") and i have very slim hips so i was a lil bit worried i wouldnt be able to give birth! also my baby was breech until 36 weeks- then she suddenly turned! make sure u always sit up straight, never lean back coz baby gets snug breech when u lean back. leaning forward, putting ur knees below hips level, and sleeping on ur left side help force baby into the correc position. did they not offer ECV? i was told i could opt for either ECV (which if failed i'd have to have a c-section) or i could just choose to have a section. luckily i didnt have to make the choice, but if ur not keen on a section then u could try the ECV?

try not to worry, im only small like i said and i managed a successful home birth even tho my baby's head was a whopping 35cms! and there was hardly any blood at all, i was quite suprised actually!

good luck with whichever way the birth goes, try not to worry too much sweetheart

 

[Naterjack]

Thanks you girls, you have all actualy helped me and i feel a lot better about it this afternoon
You are right - there's not a lot i can do about it now is there !!!

It is definitely the unknown that scares me, aswell as the feeling that i am not in control of whats happening - i recently became absolutley terrified of flying, but am ok with driving as i know i'm in control

Hubby reckons i should train to be a pilot / midwife / surgeon so i can control it all and he can be a happy house husband