Hello new lady to this section - can I join?

[JJ Mum]

Hi ladies, I am new to this section but not to the forum.

I feel really awkward posting/ replying in this section as I already have children, so I thought I would introduce myself and explain. I understand that me posting here may come across as insensitive and thoughtless to those lttc for their first baby , so i'm sorry as I really isn't intended that way - but there is no other section for me to post in about this and I would love your experiance, advice and support as you seem a great bunch of girls, and to share your lttc journeys with whatever highs and lows it brings.

My hubby had said absolutely NO to more children after my last baby in 2011 and so I went and made the worst descision I have ever made and got sterilized, I thought it would take away the option and I would move on and stop wanting a 5th andf last baby for my youngest to grow up with. The feelings and emotions did not go away, just got worse and I then added gulit etc to it!

My hubby has seen how miserable I have been and we have agreed to try for a baby with IVF as the consultant adviced against tubal reversal, plus I have had 4 c-sections and my tum has seen enougth trauma there already it would be safer to try this way.

I know nothing yet - I have done lots of research, dijested the ivf schedule from the clinic, and looked into it as much as I can without pestering you ladies and now wanted to say hello. Following my consultation I have been refered for IVF (paid for by me naturally). I am waiting for the information evening invite, before they let you book the consents appointment, hope it comes through soon.

So we are desperately trying to get the money together as time is not on my side too much as I will be 39 this summer, we can get enougth for one cycle and then I would have to try to get saving, making some cash ready for a second cycle , and that would be it I think. My sister had IVF about 5 years ago at the same clinic actually (was lucky and had a baby from the second cycle) , but I just can't ask her for advice, as my family would be really hostile to me having any more children, my mum made her thoughts very clear when I mentioned another prior to my last baby - I will regret this forever if I never try.

 

[daniph1]

Firstly welcome to the world of LTTC! We are a friendly bunch!

What an awfully stressful time you have been having, be rest assured we are all here to support you and I think i speak for everyone when I say we would never think you insensitive for posting in here. These lovely ladies let me moan and groan in here!!

I know very little about reversals, save for my 29 year old husband is a product of one! my MIL had her tubes tied even though she wanted another baby, and then reversed and whallah - bang - out comes dear hubby!I know even less about ivf but the girls on here are wonderfully informative so pester away xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Much love and luck to you xxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

Welcome JJ,
I am 38 too, so we have that in common!
I didnt meet my OH until I was 34! Had my son aged 35, have been trying for baby #2 to complete our family for two year now!
Really feeling the pressure of my age an extra stress! IVF not an option for us as we really vcant afford it.

Anyway, ladies are lovely in here and I wish you success and support on your journey. xxxx

 

[hayes]

Hi, all the girls in this section have been lovely and welcoming with lots of knowledge. Good luck with your journey hope you get a bfp really soon.

Michelle. x

 

[ScotchEgg]

come in, come in, have a seat and a slice of cake and a cup of tea and put your feet up

welcome. I'm going through IVF at the moment and it's hard work but nowhere near as bad as the media makes out.

 

[MissJuly10]

Welcome hun!



x x

 

[itisbabytime]

I'm sorry but I find this a little hard to swallow. You say you want a baby for your youngest. (Number 4 ) to grow up with. Won't this be exactly the same case when number 5 is the youngest and you want number 6?

 

[daniph1]

I'm sorry but I find this a little hard to swallow. You say you want a baby for your youngest. (Number 4 ) to grow up with. Won't this be exactly the same case when number 5 is the youngest and you want number 6?

I'm guessing that there is a larger gap between baby 3 and baby 4 and baby five will give baby 4 a close aged sibling. Reason shouldn't matter, she wants a baby, like we all do! x

 

[itisbabytime]

I'm sorry but I find this a little hard to swallow. You say you want a baby for your youngest. (Number 4 ) to grow up with. Won't this be exactly the same case when number 5 is the youngest and you want number 6?

I'm guessing that there is a larger gap between baby 3 and baby 4 and baby five will give baby 4 a close aged sibling. Reason shouldn't matter, she wants a baby, like we all do! x

True, the heart wants what the heart wants. The difference is that I like most of the women here are struggling to have number one. If treatment doesn't work she will still have 4 wonderfull chuildren. If treatment fails for us we might have to accept we may naver have a family of our own.

 

[daniph1]

I do understand where your coming from, I do, but our plights are all hard and difficult whatever the circumstances. I would like to sprinkle baby dust over all of us so we all get what we want.

I have been ttc since Jan 11 -I have a little girl aged 5, three BFP in that time and two miscarriages, I keep going because I want another baby, just because I have a daughter doesn't mean I hurt any less. This is not supposed to come over as horrible - sorry if it sounds rude! x

 

[ScotchEgg]

we all have different backgrounds, different experiences and different problems, no-one should be made to feel unwelcome. There are plenty of people on here who aren't trying for their first child and it's never been a problem. I'll be back a couple of years after this to try for another, I can't imagine only having one and I'd like to hope I'd be made welcome then - with our infertility it'll be IVF again for the second child. This is a happy and welcoming board, it makes me sad to see anyone not made welcome

 

[Kay Kay]

Welcome JJ Mum, I think you have been very honest and of course you are welcome here. Join the gang!

I do have to say however that I understand where itisbabytime is coming from, having no kids myself. We are not always going to agree with each other on here but it doesn't mean we are not supportive of your journey or that we don't understand how desperately you want a another child. There are lots of LTTTC ladies who have at least one LO so you are not alone.

So feel free to ask advice/rant/just get things off your chest. I don't have much IVF expertise however lots of other lovely ladies do so you are in good hands! Lots of luck to you hun xxx

 

[Vickyxx]

Hey JJ mum welcome to ltttc

I remember you from when I first joined PF 2 years ago, blimey cant believe it was that long ago now!! you helped answer all my annoying newbie questions and was always so nice to everyone.

I have also just found out that I need IVF so we are in the same boat, I have been reading up as much as I can online but its all very overwhelming, I am hoping to start treatment in 3 - 4 months, going private you should start before me, which means I can bombard you with questions all over again lol

LTTTTC is here for all ladies going through difficult times and I dont believe anyone should be made to feel unwelcome, we are all aiming for the same goal

 

[Corrinne37]

I think maybe what the ladies are trying to say is that really you have not been trying to have a baby or experienced difficulty in having a baby for a longtime like a many of the girls in here.
It was infact your choice that you are in the position you are in now, because you already have 4 children, you decided to be sterilised. But as time has gone on you want it reversed.
And that is totally your prerogative, I well understand the feeling of the ticking of the clock and that it is now or never and that this will be your last chance.
But maybe that is what its baby time and Kay kay are thinking, as yes many girls in here have emotionally really been through a lot if frustration and heartache through no choice of their own, and would give their right arm to be in your position.
But I can see from your point of view that you really you have no where else to go, no one but the LTTC in here that have been through IVF or going for IVf can you go to for support.

So just trying to mediate a little as can see from both sides as Scotch egg says we all have our different journeys xxxxx

 

[Corrinne37]

and yes well said Vicky, we all want the same goal. xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Hello again ladies,

Thank you for your honest replies, I don't meam to upset anyone, this is the reason that I have waited so long before taking the plunge and posting. There is no way I can post in here without seeming insensitive or rubbing noses in it, but I had to try.

It's babytime - I do only want one more baby, and not 6. To help you guys a little more , when entering this section I took my baby picture off my avatar and also removed my normal signatures which detailed my kids names and ages, so that would have made more sense perhaps on age gap - My kids are 13,11,10 and 1. My eldest three grew up together, they are always at school, and by the time my little one is their age, they probably won't even be at home or with us for holidays etc.

I do appreicate that if treatment fails, I will as you say still have 4 lovely children, not a day goes by that I don't know how lucky I have been and that others are struggling still to have one - I wish everyone all the best luck in the world, the decision was mine, I'm was not asking for sympathy, I have to live with that yes, just wanted to let you know my background and say Hi.

Just because I have 4 kids, my journey has not always been smooth, eg in 2010 I lost a baby at 12 weeks and last time bled in pregnancy during most of the 1st trimester, then needed a cvs at 14 weeks as I got a 1 in 9 risk of a chromozone issue, so pregancy was not safe till near 18 weeks.

Everybodys background, story, problems and ttc journeys are different, the most important thing on this lovely forum, is to support each other where we can, that is why we are all on here, I believe.


I really do wish you all the best with your Fertility treatments and hope you all get bfp's really soon XX

 

[Bead]

Hi JJ Mum, a familiar name from my old days on TTC
No advice really, but just wanted to wish you the best of luck!

Bead xx

 

[JJ Mum]

Thank you Bead, lovely to see you - wishing you well with your adoption process hun XX

 

[bidsy]

JJ has been a huge support to alot of ladies on this forum including myself when I had problems in my pregnancy with Joseph, noone knows how they are going to feel after having a baby its such a huge rush of emotions. I myself never thought i'd want another one but I overwhelmingling do and are trying again soon.
I understand how some ladies may feel especially when trying for baby no1 but I completely have 100% support for JJ and hope she can have another baby.
I hope all you ladies get the baby you want and deserve x

 

[ZMD]

Hi jj hun just wanted to wish you lots of luck on your journey. Youve given lots of advice to many people on this forum xx

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