Having a down day

[lisey27]

I have been up and down, i felt ok wednesday but yesterday and today I feel so low, i keep going over everything, thinking about next time, wondering what supplements to take etc...

I know I need to relax but its so hard when its all so fresh I just feel like theres no hope after 2 MC, even though I know there are lots of people that go on to have successful pregnancies.

I keep wondering if we should just try again (in a few months) and hope for the best or if we should go for tests? I dont know what these tests are called or what they check for, I have looked at clinics on line and they seem to test after 3 MC but found zita west who will do tests after 2 or more. It will be expensive so I just dont know what to do! the doctors dont seem to think I have cause for concern as I had a trouble free full term pregnancy so would I be wasting loads of money in order to have tests?

I am finding it hard to muster up the energy to do anything, I have zero motivation and am avoiding people, I wont even go to my OH parents as I feel like I have let them down, I have lost their grand-child, I know they wouldnt think this for a second, they are great people but I can't shift the feeling.

I am sorry for the rant and moan, just needed to get it out I guess xx

 

[kedi376]

You will have good and bad days, it's all part of the grief. Please try and give yourself time.

When you are ready you can try again. We've also had two mc's and now I'm pregnant again, 3rd time in less than a year. I'm trying to work on the assumption that it WILL happen for us at some point, I just don't know when and how much pain I will go through to get my baby in my arms.

There is nothing I can really say or do that will make you feel better. I took strength in the other ladies on here that had been through the same as me and where now in tri 2 or tri 3. Some of which have now had their babies.

If you don't want to go out and see people then don't, but please don't hide away because you think it's your fault. This is not your fault and you might find by just going to see the in laws and getting it over with you will feel better.

I'm thinking of you sweetie and if you need to vent you know where to find us all xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[netty]

it takes time hun and there are days when you feel like just giving up but dont you WILL get there in the end as many ladies before you with multiple losses have shown

i know how hard it is and i hope you are ok, make sure you are taking care of your self hun

I am not too sure what tests they can run, best off asking carnat

 

[lisey27]

Thanks ladies,

its comforting to read lovely caring comments

In regards to testing, I know they test for blood clotting disorders etc but other than that I am a bit clueless.

I have to try and stay positive but there are days where I can't be but like you say its part of the grieving process and I need to give it time. Thanks again xxx

 

[netty]

i am sorry this has happened, its a shame ot takes 3 losses to get seen to and so frustratingthat sometimes there just is no reason!!

maybe ask your docs anyway and see what he says?

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi hun,

I can tell you exactly what they tested me for if it's any help?

However I think for the time being you just need to relax, be good to yourself an maybe put TTC on the backburner for a little while.

Between loss 3 and this time we had one proper cycle using condoms, then 2 cycles NTNP, the 2 cycles TTC proper!

You will have you up and down days, it's only natural. You are still grieving hun

xxxxxxxxx

 

[mishi]

Sorry your having a down day sweetie xxx

 

[dyscochick]

i think the girls have said it all already, but do give yourself time. Its so raw I'm sure its hard to think properly about how you want to move forward, its a big step knowing that there are tests you can have, i guess it depends if you want to go down that route. I'd give it a few weeks to let your body settle down and for your brain to make sense of it. So sorry you are going through this again

 

[lisey27]

I think you are all right, got to give myself time to be able to think clearly, at the moment my emotions and thoughts are erratic.
We have decided that there is no way we are trying until after our holiday anyway as we dont want to risk being in early pregnancy on holiday and plus it gives us some healing time. So it will be at least 3-4 months til we try again anyway.
I am unsure of everything and the options I have and should take, I am seeing a different GP in a couple of weeks and maybe she will give me some info and reassurance.

Thanks ladies, you're all so lovely. xxx

 

[Bev999]

I am so sorry you feeling low. I can remember how this feels, and i know it will get better for you. Remember to talk lots and dont bottle anything up!! xxx

 

[lisey27]

I was wondering if any of you could help me...the thing that worries me most is a problem with chromosomes/gentics etc as there is no easy fix for that. Do any of you know what these tests are actually called? I have tried researching it and have found something called kareotype tests but I am not sure this is the right thing? If I know the proper name I can search it and arrange it and also how are the tests done? is it blood test or sperm analysis with OH? any help is appreciated xx

 

[diane]

Hi I've never posted before but yes the chromosome test is called karyotyping and it is a simple blood test for both yourself and your partner. They will check your chromosomes for any issues. The results usually take 6-8 weeks xxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

Easier said than done but I'd really try and give yourself time & relax. Ive had 2 mc & a friend recently had two consecutive mc and caught 3rd time now 13 weeks xx

I wanted answers last time, got really really down & really pushed for tests as I had no AF but as soon as I knew I was booked in for a scan I then caught my bfp. It was as if my body just relaxed because I knew something was happening.

Mc is sad & hard to get through and you can get pregnant so it would be worth telling the docs how you feel & how it's getting hard for you.

It will happen though for you maybe your body needs something at the early stages to help you. Good luck & best wishes xxx

 

[lisey27]

Hi I've never posted before but yes the chromosome test is called karyotyping and it is a simple blood test for both yourself and your partner. They will check your chromosomes for any issues. The results usually take 6-8 weeks xxx

Thanks so much for this, I wanted to make sure I was searching for the right thing, have you any advice on where this test is available? xx

 

[lisey27]

Easier said than done but I'd really try and give yourself time & relax. Ive had 2 mc & a friend recently had two consecutive mc and caught 3rd time now 13 weeks xx

I wanted answers last time, got really really down & really pushed for tests as I had no AF but as soon as I knew I was booked in for a scan I then caught my bfp. It was as if my body just relaxed because I knew something was happening.

Mc is sad & hard to get through and you can get pregnant so it would be worth telling the docs how you feel & how it's getting hard for you.

It will happen though for you maybe your body needs something at the early stages to help you. Good luck & best wishes xxx

Thanks for sharing, you have given me some hope I know I need to relax and let myself heal from this.

I know it is likely that we will go onto have a healthy baby at some point.
I am going to speak to the doctor and explain my worries and how I am feeling xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

I know how you feel because I was at rock bottom in jan about the whole thing. I'm not the one to relax but telling the doctor helped me & it's hard when people say "you can get pregnant it will happen" because its easier to say it and mean it than be the one to believe it.

I asked about progesterone levels and baby aspirin doc said hold off till scan but I know a couple on here who used them at beginning of pg.

Lots of hugs & I really hope it happens soon for you. Chin up xxxx

 

[lisey27]

I know how you feel because I was at rock bottom in jan about the whole thing. I'm not the one to relax but telling the doctor helped me & it's hard when people say "you can get pregnant it will happen" because its easier to say it and mean it than be the one to believe it.

I asked about progesterone levels and baby aspirin doc said hold off till scan but I know a couple on here who used them at beginning of pg.

Lots of hugs & I really hope it happens soon for you. Chin up xxxx

I think there is just a desperation to know why its happening...all my doctor said the other day was "its the best thing that could happen" (in regards to something being wrong) he was very unhelpful and unsympathetic but thats why i have made an appointment to see someone else. I am just worried of it happening again.
Did you use aspirin? or anything else, my doctors just say it is unlikely there is a problem in that sense as I have "a live birth" as they put it!! but still curious about it xx

 

[diane]

Hi Hun I went to my gp first after 4 losses and they referred me onto the recurrent miscarriage clinic who did the karyotyping there. If you were to go to a private clinic tho they would be able to do all the rmc workup, which usually includes hormones (fsh, lh, progesterone etc) thyroid, lupus, blood clotting, immunity issues, karyotyping, plus they did sperm analysis on my husband as this could also affect rmc.

 

[CARNAT22]

As Diane says there are standard tests that they refer you for if you suffer recurrent miscarriages.

It is mainly blood tests and I had an internal (they didn't give my OH a sperm analysis but he also had some blood tests)

I won't lie, it wasn't pleasent I gave a lot of blood in one sitting and we were warned to begin with that the vast majority of recurrent losses end up remaining inexplained. So basically the tests are pointless but they do rule out some standard things that can contribute to recurrent miscarriage.

If you do decide to go down the route of having private tests any decent clinic will know exactly what you need testing.

The 4 main areas they looked at were
1) My blood
2) Mine and OH's chromosomes
3) My womb (they did an internal)
4) My hormone levels and antibodies

All tests barring my internal were blood tests...

Take it easy for the time being and if you do decide to go for tests I am here if you have any questions

xxxxx

 

[Sunbeam638]

I used baby aspirin every other day after ovulation and just first few weeks of pg. But I didn't know why the first time I mc'd then the second was a blighted ovum.

Its supposed to help prevent mc for those who have recurring mc? Sorry your doc isn't sympathetic might be worth trying a new one or just going back again. It's your feelings and your body so worry not about pestering them!xxx