Hard 21m old :-(

[Holi]

God I'm having a hard time with Rosie!

She just wants her own way on anything and if she doesn't she has a melt down!

And worst is when she can't communicate! Often she say 'mummy do it' and if I can't work out what it is she goes biserk and throws herself on floor!

And to top it off we are meant to be Ttc no2 but the ways she's behaving makes me not want anymore cos I don't think I could handle a newborn with her being the way she is!

Bad age?! Or do I just have a naught toddler?! Xx

 

[Mrs M]

I think you have a completely normal toddler who is getting frustrated as she can't do/communicate properly yet. Tantrums are hard, but they do go away eventually - although my 5 year old dd seems to be having them again - but they're easier to deal with as you can talk about it!

TTC will be fine! When you start trying you're daughter has a minimum of 9 months to mature and learn to communicate.

 

[Holi]

I think you have a completely normal toddler who is getting frustrated as she can't do/communicate properly yet. Tantrums are hard, but they do go away eventually - although my 5 year old dd seems to be having them again - but they're easier to deal with as you can talk about it!

TTC will be fine! When you start trying you're daughter has a minimum of 9 months to mature and learn to communicate.

That's what I keep telling myself about TTC but it really scares me that I won't be able to cope or have the patients for two!! xx

 

[OMGbabyno3]

I'm sure you'll be fine, and like said before your daughter has at least another 9 months to learn to communicate, and they learn a lot in that time.

My DD1 who is 5 is being like it too, seems like she's an angel at school and lets it all out at home. We learn to cope!

 

[MrsS143]

Is it bad id just ignore the tantrums lol?
Just communicate thoroughly you dont understand what theyre saying so will just have to have something else

 

[babyslog]

Holi we just had the worst tantrum of all time tonight.

Bathtime is normally fine..
He literally had a massive hissy fit getting in throwing himself around and screaming so much he threw up in the bath!!!!

I got him out and he carried on, threw his towl down and started flapping about that a fish on the floor lol! Most whacked his head on the toilet he eas going that mental! He was terrible!!!!!!
Dno if it was cos he was so tired as we have been out all day at the zoo.. But jesus christ nect door musta thought wtf!

 

[littlemonkey]

Thankfully my son has been a chatter box from a young age, but we've just entered the terrible two's with him with a vengeance. And I'm having our second baby in a fortnight!!

It is hard and I worry about how we will all cope once baby gets here. The way I see it is LO would be having these tantrums regardless of whether we have another baby or not and chances are adapting to having a sibling will result in tantrums and difficult behaviour regardless of what age gap there is.

 

[Rooster30]

Oh my son can communicate very well indeed and we still get tantrums. My due date for no. 2 is today! What was I thinking?!

 

[Kay Kay]

I feel your pain holi! Matthews behaviour has been quite bad lately. Yesterday was the worst yet. Thrrowing his dinner all over the floor, screaming for noddy on the TV, headbutting, biting and pinching me which he finds hilarious! He bit my leg tonight and when I shouted OW he was killing himself laughing and kept saying it's funny �� it's so hard to deal with. I feel like everything I do is wrong. Ignoring him doesn't seem to work esp with the headbutting, he is going to really hurt himself if I'm not careful. Sorry no advice just that I know what it's like! Then other days he's quite good and you think aww what an angel �� hehe!

 

[MrsS143]

Have you tried biting back?
They dont always realise how rough and hurtful they're being x

 

[Holi]

Rosie's a really good talker, so I think it makes her more frustrated when she can't say what she means because normally she can - if that makes sense?? We have just got over our second lot of hand foot and mouth so hoping it's just the aftermath of that!

I do try an ignore but doesn't seem to work for her she just carries on crying and kicking out on the floor, distracting works better for us but still not the easiest!

It just after the day from hell with her, we pop her to bed and we look at each other like 'and you want to make another?!' Haha

Luckily we haven't had any biting or hitting yet but I'm sure it will come! Joys of parenting!

 

[Holi]

Looks like us 2013 June/July mummy's are going through similar! It makes me feel a bit better! Misery loves company and all that jazz joke xx

 

[clairebear22]

Have you tried biting back?
They dont always realise how rough and hurtful they're being x

Are you actually being serious?!?! You'd actually bite your small child? Would you throw a toy car at it's head if it launched one at yours first?!?!


My eldest is nearly 4 and has autism, we're very lucky that he doesn't have tantrums. Yes he cries if he doesn't like something or I can't figure out what he wants because he can't speak yet but on he whole he's very well behaved.

My youngest was 2 in March and has a magnificent scream/squeal!! We've had maybe two times where he throws himself on the floor but I walk away and leave him to it. It usually works. He is most definitely heading for the terrible two's though lol.

 

[MrsS143]

I know a lot who do it yes
Not with hitting because that can be restrained/blocked but bite enough to they feel pressure after they bite you and arent taking cues that theyre hurting you
its to shock them to realise its not nice, not to hurt them
But they can see where youre going with it
A lot understand what you say even if they cant communicate back

Because while they won't understand that throwing things or flailing about is sometimes going to cause damage to things or pain... throwing things isnt always bad... waving your arms about isn't always bad... but there's never a reason they should need to put their teeth on another person

As i say it's not to hurt them but theres a clear line particularly for biting x

 

[Baby2sky]

I agree with Claire. I would never dream of biting my child.

When my daughter was around this age we really struggled too. She is an excellent communicator so I just kept explaining how things were wrong and telling her no. I also give her consequences eg. The naughty pram, no stories, toys going in the bin etc... Shes 27 months now and things are much better xxx

 

[clairebear22]

I know a lot who do it yes
Not with hitting because that can be restrained/blocked but bite enough to they feel pressure after they bite you and arent taking cues that theyre hurting you
its to shock them to realise its not nice, not to hurt them
But they can see where youre going with it
A lot understand what you say even if they cant communicate back

Because while they won't understand that throwing things or flailing about is sometimes going to cause damage to things or pain... throwing things isnt always bad... waving your arms about isn't always bad... but there's never a reason they should need to put their teeth on another person

As i say it's not to hurt them but theres a clear line particularly for biting x

'but there is never a reason to put their teeth on another person'. But it's ok for Mummy to put her teeth on me?!?! How does that teach a child?

My eldest has very little understanding, he is a 9 month old in a nearly 4 year olds body. No way would he understand me biting him if he bit me? Even if it wasn't to hurt him! Using the word no, or in our case saying 'all finished' and then giving consequences for if they want to carry on misbehaving will work as long as there is consistency.

I want my boys to know that no matter what they do I love them and would never ever hurt them but I will tell them off if their naughty. Not that I'll sink my teeth into them (hard or not) whenever they bite me.

Biting is usually because he/she doesn't have enough vocabulary to express themselves, especially when they're angry because they can't control their emotions either.

 

[laurat]

Ahh Holi and June/July mumimies I have to say I can not necessarily help with this thread but I can certainly empathise. Im having tantrums and head butting when we cant stay outdoors 24/7. Also when we dont know what he wants to watch on the TV. The remote control gets flung. Sometimes at us. He has had a bite at his dad a few times but that (touch wood) stopped when my husband put on a stern voice. Hes always the fun one so he got the message it wasnt good. Its a phase and about communication Im sure but when it happens its challenging and embarrasing if its in public. He tends to do it as we want to eat somewhere! The head butting had been the worst as he does it quite hard at times. Its heartening (although feel for you) to see it is common in the age group.

 

[babyslog]

Looks like its the start for us doesnt it! Ahhhhh
Although OH has said hes been good today lol!
Most probs cos he was out the garden playing all day lol x

 

[babyslog]

Not sure i agree with the 'biting them back' bit.. Sorry!!

I always dnt like taking things off him that he isnt allowed.
I like to ask him 'can mummy have it please Noah?' And him give it to me, i dnt like it when im out and i see parents yank stuff off their kids they shouldnt have.
But then aee them telling them off for snatching it back..... uhh.. So u can snatch but the child cant!?


But i guess everyone has different parenting skills.

Ive had to tap Noahs wrist a few times but thats as far as id go! X

 

[kim88]

We are getting the tantrums and attitude too !! Glad it seems to be normal for this age, like you say it is hard figuring out how to deal with it because you can only communicate with them to a certain extent. Millie doesn't really hit or bite but she's starting throwing her food and spitting! I try to ignore her as telling her to stop makes her do it more because she's getting a reaction. I'm sure it will get better... When they are 21 haha xx