Grrrrr!!

[Chazabell]

This is just a rant girls!

Is it just me or is anyone else fed up of hearing people say "it will happen" or "it takes time" or "it will take time for tablets to work" ??????

What do you know? You get pregnant without trying!! <--- is what i want to say. But my response is "i know" when im crying inside and fantasising about zipping their mouth shut!! And some havent been in either position!

I know 'it can take time' im not bloody stupid, but your patience wears out after 21 months and their kind words are more like salt into a wound. Noone but me and my OH can feel this pain and frustration that gets harder every month

We have only told a select few friends. And i have 1 friend who crys about being broody and how it kills her to see a pregnant woman......well i have news for her - it hurts me more! Needless to say she doesnt know were TTC!

I love the support off you guys. You all know what were going thru and how it feels, and for all your advice and support i want to say thank you. I'd be a wreck without you all

xxxx

 

[Chazabell]

Balls.....on my phone and put this in wrong section......can it be moved to LTTTC??????


Sorry ladies xx

 

[laurat]

Here, here Chaz on the support on here! Its so good to have others to talk to and who understand! TTC really is a long hard slog and a lot of waiting that you can't avoid!

 

[LouiseB]

I hate people using those kind of phrases

They seem to trivialise the nightmare we're going through because it is like saying that all we have to do to get our baby is wait.

Waiting is easy. It implies relaxation and contentment. It also implies that a happy ending is inevitable.

It undermines the constant emotional and physical struggle we have to deal with every single day, possibly forever. We don't have a choice. We might never get a baby.

For someone to just acknowledge that fact before offering support makes a world of difference, but you might need to let them in first?

Try to focus on the positives. You had a great response to the clomid

 

[Chazabell]

We have told our closest friends and family who we can trust not to blab to the world and everyone bar our parents like a selection of the above phrases and my broody friend, i cant trust her with this, shes too competitive!!

I currently feel like im wishing my life away counting down to the end of each cycle, and beginning a new one. It hurts more when my AF is here not because of the obvious, but because its a physical remider that its not your month. I become a hobo! Lol.

Another recent favourite that my OH has pointed out "would you consider adoption?" WTF? Have you not just listened to what i said?

Its just so frustrating i dont wanna hurt my friends by saying anything like above, but i dont wanna hear that anymore either! Pffffffft xxxx

 

[laurat]

The adoption line! Thats another easy flowing phrase usually as they themselves sut holding their own child thinking inside I would never do it!!!!

 

[kirstymichelle]

Awwww Chaz ,

I know the feeling , but everyone assumes its easy for me because i already have a LO , i get the line well at least you've got one . Well i'm sorry and this may piss some of you off here too but i want a child with my OH he has no children and i want to share the life experience with him and having a child is like a living testemonial of your love for one another, yes i have a daughter that i love with all my heart but it does not change the longing for another child to complete my family and to make my OH a daddy , i feel like a failure because i could make another man a daddy but now all of a sudden i cant him x

 

[ScotchEgg]

So true

Unrelated to ttc the other one that upsets me is 'cheer up it might never happen' - I remember getting that loads when I was dealing with a sudden bereavement, used to make me feel awful

 

[Drummers_wife]

Here here to all of the above!!
I've had all of those phrases and most from my family who KNOW were Under investigations so even when ppl do know they're still tactless!! I think maybe it's stupidity or jus plain they don't know what to say!! But I want to scream if you've got nothin nice to say DON'T SAY ANYTHING!!!!! Aaaaaaaaagh!!!!

 

[sarah1]

Here here! and a big fat GGRRRRR!!!!!

My favourite one recently from one of my student's Mums (what the hell gives her the right to ask?!) was 'are you gonna have any then?'....... I just said 'maybe, maybe not', because that is the honest truth isn't it? She was a bit taken aback I think! It makes me SO angry that people just assume you aren't 'ready' yet, or assume that they can ask and make jokes about it.

We haven't told anyone our situation except some friends in the USA (they have been through the same thing) and a friend of mine here, who always just says 'oh it'll happen soon' - she has two babies. My Mum is always dropping little hints like 'oh, when you eventually have yours..' and I feel like screaming at her! I know its not the fault of my parents cos they don't know - we just can't handle the constant fussing and questions that we KNOW will happen if we tell them. My hubby is amazing about it all, I have to ask him to answer for me sometimes.

Chaz - I too have become a bit of a hobo! I don't go to any social gatherings where people might talk about their babies. I went to a work thing the other week and had to listen to a group of women talk constantly about their children and how much they loved being pg. My heart literally broke! it was awful. Hang in there, we can start a loner club! xxx

 

[LouiseB]

I feel like i'm wishing my life away too...

Must. Start. Next. Cycle. Now.

It goes through my head all day every day - how many days left, what is happening next, why isn't it happening faster?!

It so exhausting.

You might be grateful of OH broaching the topic of adoption at some point though, so don't be too hard on him He is in the same boat too.

 

[Chazabell]

Oh Louise its not him asking about adoption, it others, he just reminded me as he saw my rant! In 1 breath they say it will take time, then in another ask about adoption! I'm not even thinking that far! I WILL make a baby (although OH has said he'd adopt if we couldnt fall pregnant) i know its affecting him too, i hate seeing the pain in his face when i tell him 'no nookie tonight, im decorating' on friday he finished work early and came home with a bottle of wine and some new PJ's and we spoke about it all. He's been amazing

I appreciate people offering kind words i really do, but they dont help any more and i dont know what to say to them. In the last 4 days ive just shrugged my shoulders. I thought id post on her because you all know how it feels wether its taken 2 months or 2 years to concieve! I think we should all write a book.......xxx.

 

[Bead]

Here here and here again!
I have to be flippant... it's either laugh or cry... from experience, give it a little while longer and people will stop asking. When there's a baby brought into the office for 'show and tell' I think people now give me an embarrased sideways glance and know not to say a word...
xxx

 

[Naomi D]

I know EXACTLY how you feel - except for me its the OH always telling me "not to worry it will happen for us soon".

He is emotionally detached from us ttc because he went through it all with his ex-wife and she messed him around (basically said they would ttc in order to get married and then stopped after a few months, saying she didnt want kids after all) and it really hurt him.

So he doesnt really understand what Im going through I think. He tries to be there and say/do the right thing, but he sometimes gets in wrong in typical blokey fashion, and I cant let him know he has hurt me cos he doesnt mean to iykwim?

 

[Chazabell]

This has got worse since my scan on friday and i told a friend i had PCOS. She came round last night, merry, wittering on 'its not the end of the world' 'it will happen' ....SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was the end of my world as a knew it! Pffffft!!!!!

 

[LouiseB]

Sorry Chaz

I'd just be an arse about it and be very blunt about the fact that as far as you are concerned you see it as never being able to have children until proven otherwise and that is a HUGE deal and you'd appreciate some acknowledgement from your friends.

Everyone seems to think that IVF is a guaranteed baby too.

 

[Chazabell]

Nothing is a guaranteed baby, but nobody realises that untill they are going through it! Its something thats taken for granted by everyone!

It annoyed me so much i went off up to bed, id told her i dont want to talk about it anymore or hear the same thing again, i know she means well but she didnt listen to me, she didnt listen!! Grrrr!

I know ive already said it on here but i do appreciate everyone on here an i wish i could give everyone a hug

Nobody beats around the bush, were all straight to the point because we know everyone else is thinking it xxxx

 

[nicky1987]

I'm sick to death of so when are you and your OH gonna have a baby or its your turn now!! Or if you feel slightly sick its are you pregnant? you must be pregnant!! grr!! They dont realise how much comments like that can hurt and frustrate somebody!! Arghh this is a good thread for a rant!! xx