woke up to my phone ringing early this morning, caller was my bestest friend and I knew exactly what she was goign to say. She did a test this morning. She is pregnant. She is the only one who knows we are ttc. She doesnt know about my charting , obsessive poas habit, addiction to PF etc. She does know how long we have been ttc, but i shrug it off to a more, "seeing what happens plan." She has been ttc for the exact length of time we have so it was likely it was going to happen but I never thtought it would hurt this much. I am absolutely devastated, I could tell she was nervous telling me and I knew she was going to say it before she did. I managed to hold it together when we were on the phone, my voice did waiver a bit but I really did try. As soon as we hung up, that was it, flood gates opened and I am going through every possible emotion. Happiness for her, jealously, frustration, anger, disppointment. So thats it... nothing else to say, just helps to get it out in writing sometimes.