God what a nightmare!

[ejjie]

Oh god Sammy I'm so sorry. Are you ok? Is there no other option, maybe the UK do you have family and friends here? Maybe he'd find it easier to get work?

Your father in law sounds like a total b@stard... they all sound horrid. Don't let them break you up unless YOU really think it's for the best. They sound controlling and horrible and your OH needs to stand up to them.

Stay in touch hon so we know you're alright xxx

 

[Lorna]

awwww hun, I just wanted to send you lots of these

Your OH's family sound horrid.

 

[xxsammyxx]

He is a right *******... the other day we were going out on the bikes (yeah another downside of Holland everyone rides round on stupid push bikes - there kids sit in a box on the front or back of the bike if they have any - really safe eh?) and his dad said "your not taking my bike!" We have been using his bike all week!!! His dad has a car and his mum too and they both have bikes - his dad was using neither of them. Just being nasty. Then just so we wouldnt take his mums car he took her out and drove that leaving his car on the drive and taking his keys with him. Nasty pig! I have told OH i need to get out of here for today and we need to talk but personally there are limited options. UK is not one of them really as i burnt my bridges there when i left

 

[A&J]

OMG and I thought my MIL was bad What an evil b*stard he sounds

Hope you are ok? (obviously your not but you know what I mean) and you manage to sort it all out for the better.

 

[Snuggle]

Oh hun I have only just read this, what a situation to be in. I think you and OH need to go stay in a hotel or somewhere for a couple of days and discuss your options. If you love each other there's no need to split up, you can find ways round it. Why is returning to the UK not an option? Surely he will find work here?

 

[ejjie]

Honey you've not burnt ALL your bridges here. The Uk's a big country and you would have no problems making friends...And you have all of us.

You do need some alone time with your OH to talk about this. His family are horrid I can't believe he's not doing more to stop this happening

Take care

 

[MrsBrightside]

awwww darling im so so so sorry your going through this at the min! I think like its been said you both need to book into a hotel and away from his family.... has he just changed since he got back home and has been talking to his Dad? cause he def sounds like a pushing dad!

I think you need to sit down away from his family and his families home and talk about it!

As for moving back to England you haven't burnt all your bridges! there is loads of places you could move to... what work does your OH do and could he not think about re training???

 

[xxsammyxx]

Pushy isnt the word!!!! Hes way past that unfortunately... well last night we had a chat, i tried to pull myself together. I dont want to fly back alone and this was never the plan. However, OH seems to be booking interview after interview and it looks uncertain we will be able to leave before the end of the week which im really pissed off about but trying to be understanding. All was going well, we watched a movie last night with a bottle of wine (in the bedroom of his mums house of course!) and all was well. It continued that way until about 10 mins ago. Basically we had only just bought a new laptop a few weeks ago after burglars stole ours but when OH last came back from Holland last time he had another brand new laptop! He said his uncle had "gave" it to him... yeah right like people give you a brand new 700€ laptop for free every day. I never believed him but since he had to borrow the money from me for his flight to Holland and i had pay for the treatment at the fertility clinic (he owes me half back!) I suspected he could not have possibly bought this laptop. The he dropped himself in the shit 2 days ago saying he had bought it CHEAP from his uncle but of cours hadnt paid him the 200€ his uncle sold it him for. Well, i was sitting downstairs with his dad tonight and we were discussing software etc and he then said "i remember when Allan came to Holland last (couple of months ago) and we got off the plane and we went straight to the shop to buy that one (points to Allans NEW laptop).... la la la. I asked "oooh how much did it cost?" he replied 699€. Hmmmm..... back in a minute i said. I went upstairs and asked OH "where did you say you got that laptop from?" My uncle.... he works in IT. Yeah? What a load of bollocks i replied, your dad has just told me the story of where it came from. OH excuse was that ours at home was non functional through a virus (which i removed while he was away and it was always functional anyway it just had some stupid pop ups coming up due to spyware). Basically he just wanted his own laptop and not a family communal one which is fine by me, i dont care if he buys 20 fucking million laptops as long as its not coming out of my money anyway. What i HATE is the fact that hes lying about it. This is not the first time by far, we have had continual rows about him lying recently... stupid stuff like "im going down the gym" well when i pick him up AT THE PUB and ask if he has been down the gym he hasnt.... hes been in the pub! I never know when to believe him and whats a lie just lately.

 

[fran_23]

Aww hun i really don't know what to say i just wanted to give hugs!! and say i hope you work this all out!!!

 

[xxsammyxx]

It just seems to be going from bad to worse.... the lying bit wouldnt be any different back home, i just HATE liars... I wish i could just call a mate and go out and vent but i cant even do that being here in Holland. If i didnt have you girls to speak to i dont know what i would do I need to get home asap as i just feel like im trapped in some prison cell here. Thanks to everyone who has replied I dont think we will be TTC this month by the looks of things!!!

 

[*sara*]

Im so sorry your having a hard time, just wanted to give you some of these

 

[ejjie]

Hon you need to get him back to Spain and sort this out. WTF is he doing lying about silly stuff. It sounds like when he's back home he's encouraged to behave like this. I wouldn't be surprised if his dad knew that him buying a new laptop was supposed to be a secret from you and told you to stir things up between you. Controlling as fcuk, you need to get him away from them

 

[A&J]

Agree with ejjie last post. If you can not get him back to Spain then maybe suggest to him about going away for a couple of days to a hotel or something?

 

[xxsammyxx]

Yeh i agree i wouldnt be surprised that his dad didnt know he had lied and is trying to stir the shit. I will ask Allan when he gets home (gone to play footy - good as im not very happy right now!) I am just dying to just say "look Theo (allans dad) yeh we are over here trying to get allan a job but dont think for one minute we are staying here cos he is applying to international companies in the hope we can stay in Spain and in one year get out of that country as well!!! AND if we have to move here DONT think we are going to visit you often/join in boring Sunday family shite/include you in our social events/ live near you COS WE FECKING AINT!!! Tomorrow i have the pleasurable experience of visiting his mentally ******ed grandma (Theos idea - not allans) She doesnt even know who allan is so ive got no chance basically! Though in all fairness when i was "commanded" to accept allan did say "yeah mentally ******ed, you can tell shes your mother and also the fact that you are vastly approaching the same level" It was said in seriousness. I laughed, in agreeance of course. I mean waking us up at 5am in the morning to talk about Allan getting a job here IS just pure insanity!

 

[Anna23]

 

[rusks]

aww hunny just read this thread as been away for a couple of days sounds like you are going through a horrible time i'm so sorry, just want to say thinking of you and i hope things get sorted soon

 

[xxsammyxx]

I need to get home!!!! Just found out its 200€ for a plane ticket and then of course because im not going back with OH, his mate wont be able to pick me up and ill have to pay 50€ for a taxi, when i get there i wont have a car os its still in the damn garage. Im on CD 9 and probably coming back tomorrow so we will miss TTC OV if OH doesnt get his arse back to Spain before CD13, DD starts back school on Monday and i ant get her there.... oh jesus this is just a freakin nightmare. If i could turn back time i would never have come here.

 

[mrs_metal]

I'm sorry you're having such a horrible time, definitely sounds like a family you'd want to avoid! Hope you can get home soon and give your DD a few hugs, sounds like you need them

 

[xxsammyxx]

Thanks.... I have told OH to get these bloody interviews out the way as we have been here 2.5 weeks now... im mad cos the job he wants means we can stay in spain if he gets it and we wont have to move to Holland but the guy who is interviewing has flu (GREAT!) While he wallows in self pity, we have to wait fir him to get better! God knows when it'll be.... i cant tell OH he has to come back with me or he will never get to go to it and we might have to live here. Bloody sods law eh?

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

Oh Sammy hun your having such a rough time of it! If I were you, I'd book that flight and go home. Im sure once your home you can get to shops / schools without a car? Its making you really unhappy there and its causing tension between you both..