Honey i think your gonna have to say to Allan that you really need to get home now as DD needs to be back and ready for school asap..and you cannot take anymore of his dads manipulative behaviour, if he says to go alone without him then do it! i think when you leave he'll realise his place is with you and he should have got you home when you needed and that he has to stand on his own two feet and stand up to his dad!! i think you need to get home on your own ground so you can feel safe and think more clearly- and you need to know he is gonna support you if you are trying for a baby..and not just listen to his father!!! xxxx 
Thanks for all your kind words and advice, you all really made a difference and kept me going 
