Given up!

[Hayley1608]

Savannah no longer self settles.

She also wont sleep in her cot at night for more than hours 4 by midnight she screams until i put her in our bed.

We have pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that until she is in her own bed it will probably be like this! I work full time and find it really hard being up hours on end just trying to get her back into her cot.

I have given up... That is all.

 

[pinkyprincess]

Don't give up! Can you take a couple of days off by a weekend and just really work at it?

 

[charlene09]

Awww hun don't give up, she needs telling that she can't have her own way all the time, if she wont settle then leave her to cry it out as long as it isn't affecting her dangerously, she will give up and go to sleep, you have to be cruel to be kind unfortunatly.
I put AJ to bed at night and he screams shouting "orrrr dadda" and throws himself on he's bedroom floor and has a paddy but he has had to get used to it that he can't stay with Mummy and Daddy all day everyday, sleeptime is lonetime

 

[Hayley1608]

I just cant leave her to cry.

It goes against every motherlyinstinct I have. Some people can do it and thats ok for them but i just cant

Shes not the type of baby that just whinges or sobs. She full out screams and holds her breath and it's just dangerous. We left her to cry for only 2 minutes once and it took nearly an hour for her breathing to calm down again.

Our department is at risk of being shut down at the moment so I'm having to work some saturdays... I would love to be able to take a few days off but they aren't allowing it at the moment

Thanks for your replies i do appreciate the support

x

 

[prettypenguin]

Could you not maybe sit with her for a bit whilst she's settling down and maybe stroke her hand or something then after a bit firmly but nicely tell her 'sleeptime now, mummy will be downstairs' so she knows you're not gone far away and you've stayed with her for a bit so its only fair...so hard at that age too as they don't really understand much of what you say anyway x

 

[Hunnie]

How old is LO?

I saw something on supernanny where a little boy wouldnt sleep in his own bed. She told the mother to put LO in his bed and then sit down in the middle of the room with her back turned and to not look at him but just sit there. The LO screamed and screamed but he could still see his mum so it wasnt panic, more a tantrum. She sat there till he fell asleep then left the room and did the same again when he started crying again. It took a while and she was in tears but he eventually got the message.

I think not sleeping in her own bed is an issue you really need to deal with now as if you allow it to continue it will just end up being a lot harder in the long run?

 

[Hayley1608]

The thing is... sometimes it's like she wakes herself up on purpose. I know that sounds stupid but we have quiet time before bed so I feed her in a pitch black room with just her mobile on then she has her tablet at which stage she is literally falling asleep in my arms... I put her in her cot and she flips over and starts knee hopping in her sleeping bag! Getting her to lie down after that is a nightmare because she just stands straight back up. Once she is stood up I have to go in to at least try to lie her back down because she cant do it with her sleeping bag.

It's such a nightmare.

Thanks for you reply

 

[Hunnie]

What I did with Sophie when she was small was left her to cry a little, picked her up and held her until she calmed down with no rocking or talking then once she settled put her back down again. I just kept repeating this process until she fell asleep and I will still do it occasionally if she hasn't settled quite so well after her bottle. It works well but can be quite tiresome having to repeat.

I think I learnt this technique off jayceesmumma?

 

[Hayley1608]

How old is LO?

I saw something on supernanny where a little boy wouldnt sleep in his own bed. She told the mother to put LO in his bed and then sit down in the middle of the room with her back turned and to not look at him but just sit there. The LO screamed and screamed but he could still see his mum so it wasnt panic, more a tantrum. She sat there till he fell asleep then left the room and did the same again when he started crying again. It took a while and she was in tears but he eventually got the message.

I think not sleeping in her own bed is an issue you really need to deal with now as if you allow it to continue it will just end up being a lot harder in the long run?

Thank you for your reply.

She is nearly 8 months old so very much still a baby!

I spoke to my mum about it and she said i was exactly the same. I know that's silly because sleeping patterns are not genetic, but she said as soon as I hit 7 months i just decided that I no longer needed to sleep! She suggested that if she sleeps well in our bed then maybe it is best to co sleep until she goes into her own bed? That way at least if she wont sleep one of us can sit with her/ lie with her and just leave her room when she is asleep. It sort of made sense because she will be older then and understand more of what I say to her.

I don't know

 

[knopk@]

Its called settle and leave method but it didnt work for me.I feel for you, I have given up too

 

[Hayley1608]

What I did with Sophie when she was small was left her to cry a little, picked her up and held her until she calmed down with no rocking or talking then once she settled put her back down again. I just kept repeating this process until she fell asleep and I will still do it occasionally if she hasn't settled quite so well after her bottle. It works well but can be quite tiresome having to repeat.

I think I learnt this technique off jayceesmumma?

Thanks for your reply.

I try this sometimes but by picking her up am i not defeating the object of getting her to self settle? I guess when i put her down she will still be awake just calmer?

Maybe I should try it.

 

[Hayley1608]

Its called settle and leave method but it didnt work for me.I feel for you, I have given up too

We feel for each other

are you having a hard time too?

 

[knopk@]

Its called settle and leave method but it didnt work for me.I feel for you, I have given up too

We feel for each other

are you having a hard time too?

Settle and leaveworksfor babiesunder 6 months best i believe. My lowil scream until ke vomits even if I am nextto him/stroking him etc
HV referred me to nursery nurses to try and help.

 

[Hayley1608]

has it helped?

Hv's are completley shocking with advise sometimes.

 

[knopk@]

has it helped?

Hv's are completley shocking with advise sometimes.

Nah,my LO is ummune to sleep training. But he never self settled,he wants the boob. As soon as I put him down in his cot, if he is sleepy, he starts screaming. If he is awake, he will play a bit and then starts screaming and works himself up into such a state that he can hardly breath.

I once did the pick up -put down from 7:30 until 1:30 and collapsed with exhaustion and bad back

 

[Hayley1608]

oh goodness

Us mums ay what we go through for our little treasures!

Sometimes i think i would actually pay for a nights sleep lol!

 

[prettypenguin]

If you think you'd feel more comfortable waiting til she's old enough to at least understand words then wait, I co slept with Charlie til he was 2 months as no matter what he would scream in his crib, after 2 months he seemed ok, and now he's in his own room in a cot. I feel okay to let him cry it out now for a few mins as a lot of it is grumbling and sometimes screaming tantrums, and to be honest the mood it puts me in it does ne no good going back in there when he's like that and I'm all worked up. But I know Charlie and i know he is stubborn and impatient and wants his own way-you should see him at mealtimes! However savannah might not be stubborn etc and I'm a stay at home mum so I have more time to deal with it whereas you gotta get up n sorted the next morning. It's up to you, if you think you'll feel better waiting then go for it, just be prepared that you'll get to rlelax now but it might be harder later on, but you might be able to get.time off work then and properly work at it xx

 

[Hayley1608]

If you think you'd feel more comfortable waiting til she's old enough to at least understand words then wait, I co slept with Charlie til he was 2 months as no matter what he would scream in his crib, after 2 months he seemed ok, and now he's in his own room in a cot. I feel okay to let him cry it out now for a few mins as a lot of it is grumbling and sometimes screaming tantrums, and to be honest the mood it puts me in it does ne no good going back in there when he's like that and I'm all worked up. But I know Charlie and i know he is stubborn and impatient and wants his own way-you should see him at mealtimes! However savannah might not be stubborn etc and I'm a stay at home mum so I have more time to deal with it whereas you gotta get up n sorted the next morning. It's up to you, if you think you'll feel better waiting then go for it, just be prepared that you'll get to rlelax now but it might be harder later on, but you might be able to get.time off work then and properly work at it xx

Its just frustrating because from 2 weeks old she slept through... she was an excellent sleeper. It's only recently since shes been crawling and standing etc that she seems to be waking... Its like she wakes up and wants to practice or something! lol.

I think me and DH are going to have a couple of nights sleeping with her ( the damage is already done!) just so we can have a few hours sleep and then try to start a fresh on friday and try some new techniques.

I appreciate your advice

 

[prettypenguin]

Yep, Charlie used to sleep through beautifully from 10 til 6 it was great, then after about 2 months he used to wake every hour for about 20 mins from midnight....so frustrating hut we have to keep saying its not forever, and if he still wakes when he's a teen then he can sort his bloody self out lol. Catch up on some zzzs its important you're both in good moods then you have more patience x

 

[Hayley1608]

so frustrating hut we have to keep saying its not forever, and if he still wakes when he's a teen then he can sort his bloody self out lol.

lol this made me do a very sleepy smile