Getting short with OH

[kumber]

Just looking for some advice or reassurance really. I am ebf and I'm finding I'm getting really short-tempered with OH. He keeps complaining about how tired he is. Last night I went a bit ape - I had taken both kids round to my mom's for a few hours and he slept while we were out. Malachy wouldn't settle at all at around 1 this morning, I had only got about 2-3 hours the night before and hubby was snoring like a foghorn. I ended up kicking him awake, demanded he take M into the living room and settle him so I could sleep.

I feel really bad for being so horrid but I also feel really frustrated that he's getting more sleep than me and he's still pottering about not quite with it. He's doing a great job generally so I know I shouldn't be so horrible but I can't help it.

What can I do to help calm myself down? I'm guessing it's probably hormonal but I'd really, really like it to stop! I don't like this side of me at all

 

[russellmuscle]

I have no advice, I was a total bitch to OH after. Tiredness really does bring out the worst in us.

I just rode it out though - I made sure he knew it wasnt all me..

xx

 

[mylullaby]

I would start by asking him (calmly when you're at your least angry) not to complain about how tired he is because you're the one who's up all night feeding the baby. Seriously, that would fuck me right off. I know it's not a lack-of-sleep competition, but he really does learn to bloody well shut up about it!! After that assuming he's helping the rest of the time I think you will feel a bit better

Don't forget "this too shall pass" - it's just a phase and will seem like a distant memory soon enough (that's what I'm told anyway!) xxx

 

[russellmuscle]

It usually does. Im pretty sure I was cool calm and collective by the time Jackson slept through. Which was 7 weeks.

Once I got some good nights sleep, and felt a bit more organise things slowly fell back into place..

xxx

 

[Lulu90]

I have the same with Petar hun, I try to sleep and he'll say, mid bottle "Can you finish him off, I'm exhausted". I then want to kill him.

Lack of sleep really does turn us into lunatics. I have no advice though hun, sorry xx

 

[openeyes]

You aren't the only one, hun. When Noah was a few weeks old I blew up at my other half in a really big way. Once I had calmed down (or rather, locked myself in the bathroom to cry for a bit) I just explained to him how I was feeling and that if he wanted me to keep my sanity I needed sleep and some time to myself. So we ended up talking through it and coming up with some ideas how to do that.

If you need to remove yourself from the situation for 5 minutes so you can regain some composure then do it. Just go somewhere quiet and just sit. Honestly, I find it the best thing when things are getting a bit much.

Chances are, its just hormones and things will start to settle down soon enough. Just make sure your oh knows how you are feeling and if you feel he needs it, reassure him that this is only temporary.

Hope things improve for you soon x

 

[kumber]

Thanks girls, I'm really glad it's not just me. I feel like such a mare, he gets up with me to do M's bum while I express off, keeps my water bottle refilled, etc. He's great in general, I really shouldn't complain.

 

[Rooster30]

Not just you. I EBF for the first 6 weeks and found it terribly frustrating how OH could sleep at nights and I could not - even though he did what he could to help, I still felt, jealous, I guess that he could have a light snooze next to me whilst I fed!

It'll pass though, i'm sure

 

[Goat]

I ebf both kids and felt like you a few times in those first tough weeks, it's normal as you are running on a couple of hours sleep all day. But the reality when ebf'ing is there really is so little they can do to help at nights aside from the nappy changes and helping to settle them. However our set up was my husband would do the bulk of the cleaning, cooking, nappy changes in the day and at night time settle my eldest if she woke up. For me it worked both on a practical level and psychological level as if he complained he was tired, I knew he had a reason to be and I didn't want to scream at him.

But it's tough, and your feeling what most people feel. But just remember soon it will become easier.xx

 

[kumber]

Thanks ladies

 

[H16]

It is definitely hormones Kumber, I actually felt like I hated my OH for a while after I gave birth to our daughter. Would just want to punch him half the time poor sod lol. It does wear off eventually x

 

[kumber]

Hate is definitely what I felt the other night! Bless his heart, last night he was fantastic - I'm not even stirring when either child cries, it's taking me a long time to wake up and he was already there sorting both of them.

I don't think it helps that I'm so on edge watching for every little indication that his depression is back in full swing so whenever there's even a whiff of it I'm turning into a crazy woman when, in reality, it's sort of come and gone. I think I need to take a step back and relax, I'm so uptight. Need someone to take me on a spa weekend with no children and no hubby so I can chill out properly. A girl can dream