Getting a new job when you know you are going thru TTC / MC investigations-thoughts??

[1sttimer]

Hi ladies, I really need some advice - my job has been on the rocks for a while now and I've been hanging on for redundancy but I'm just not sure I can wait any more and even if I do one way or the other I need to get a new job - this already fills me with dread as I've been in this job for 10 years - however, I'm really worried about taking on a new job knowing that I'm hoping to get pregnant and have to tell them within my first few months and then potentially go on mat leave 9 months later. To add to that, because of the MC history I have I'm worried about going into a new job and having to take days here and there to attend appointments for my current MC investigations which not local.

I know in an ideal world employers cant discriminate over pregnancy related issues but I think we all know they do in the real world - I guess I'm just looking any of you who have done this and how you've gone about it? What with 4 years of fertility/MC issues and worrying about my job the last year if one more thing is added to the list I might actually lose the plot haha! x

 

[WinterWolf]

If you want a new job, go for it. Don't put your life on hold for a baby that doesn't exist yet. There's no guarantee you'll become pregnant quickly so don't feel like you shouldn't take any opportunity you can. As for appointments, most employers would let you use sick leave for it. You don't need to tell them what's going on!

 

[lisey]

If you want/need to change jobs then go for it regardless. Being in a happier, less stressful place with work could help things anyway.
You can always book the appointments as days off for holiday, try and get early/late appointments so that its minimal time off etc
I have had fertility investigations and miscarriage investigations and there weren't that many appointments and they were quite spaced out so I wouldn't worry too much x

 

[SugaryIris]

Go for it. Don’t put your life on hold for ttc, you could change job and not get pregnant for a while? You’ll end up hating ttc even more if you can’t live your life. I had been putting off moving House because of ttc but this month we’ve put our house on the market. If we conceived straight away now it would be inconvenient and financially maybe a stretch but I can’t live on hold anymore.

Good luck!

 

[tinselcat]

The thing I most regret about my thirties was how much time I literally wasted while focusing on TTC. I was gutted when I was made redundant the month I had my first icsi cycle and I was so gutted thinking that I'd get pregnant and not be able to claim standard maternity pay etc. Anyway, obviously it didn't work out like that and it was only after I'd been at the new place over a year that I got pregnant.
My advice is don't plan your life around getting pregnant. Just live your life and hopefully the pregnancy will come in due course.

Xx

 

[Crumble]

If you want a new job, go for it. Don't put your life on hold for a baby that doesn't exist yet. There's no guarantee you'll become pregnant quickly so don't feel like you shouldn't take any opportunity you can. As for appointments, most employers would let you use sick leave for it. You don't need to tell them what's going on!

I was going to write exactly the same

 

[1sttimer]

Thank you all sooo much, this really helps. I have literally lost the first half of my 30's to TTC and MC and just feel like it's groundhog day at the moment whilst everything else stands still. I always worried about letting down a new employer or being treated unfairly if they didn't take it very well, but I suppose no job is forever, for now I should just focus on getting something and let the rest run its course! If I stay here it's more likely than not that there will be no company to come back to and therefore no Mat pay either, so I think at this point I have little choice! x

 

[Crumble]

As hard as it is because all of us would like to have a BFP "tomorrow" we all need to keep in mind that life goes on and we can't stop the time waiting for a baby that doesn't exist yet. I know sounds ash but it is the truth. So go for the job and when the baby will arrive you will organise what is your life then. Now, the present is all we got and is what we need to enjoy and live....of course with a wish in our heart that a baby will join us soon