General pregnant womans rant...

[ShadowWolf]

I need someone to just know what's going on with me and just to understand as everyone around me doesn't have a clue...

Work
Ok, I work in a coffee shop. I used to work for 35 hours or more a week running around serving people and cleaning up after them. I will say here at the begining that im not well liked at work, honestly no idea why but i've come to terms with that. Since my morning sickness has become bad, my hours have been reduced to 13 or less a week and my boss has been ringing my OH (her freind) trying to get him to persuade me to get signed off on statutory sick pay (no way can i afford that) as i'm no where near at full capacity and she says she cant afford to pay me for not doing the job. Our HR dep. say they cant sign me off on full pay as the job is not considered a danger to mine or baby's health. The rest of the staff are complaining that they are having to pick up the slack which i understand totally, but it isnt my fault. I keep getting compared to every other pregnant woman they have ever known, and apparently all of them were wonderful and never had any problems that affected them ever, so why do I, they ask. They dont beleive me when i say how sick i feel, and even when i vomit in the staff room, it isnt enough proof. When my boss and I did my risk assesment, she said i could take as many mini breaks to eat and rest as I needed, however, my assistant manager is making a fuss as he doesnt understand why i need to and accuses me of standing around doing nothing when actually i am trying to eat some food to fill my stomach after i have thrown everything up as being hungry makes me feel sick too, even though i throw it all back up in under an hour.

I am being treated so unfairly and all my OH can do is say that he sees where my manager is coming from (he runs another shop in the same company). And talking about him.......

My OH
I know that this is his first experience of having a baby too but he seems to be giving me very little sympathy or support in all of this. I spend all my time feeling crap, (more on that later) and all he seems to care about is that the washing up gets done! Now that I am at home for most of the week, he feels justified in saying "I've been at work all day and I come home and nothing has been done." Now, please, please tell me if im in the wrong but that doesnt seem fair to me. I spend my day trying not to vomit... I wish with all my heart that i could be at work all day! That would be a luxury! I also get really upset when i ask my OH if he wouldnt mind passing me something or making me a sandwich because just the thought of moving makes my stomach do flip flops, and he has a go because he says he's fed up of being ordered around like a slave. I wanted to sleep in the middle of the day yesterday and all I got was him rolling his eyes complaining that all I do all day is eat and sleep. I keep asking hime to read some of the books I've got, but he says that it wouldn't help him understand what i'm going through as theyre only words and not experiences. He didnt even come into the midwifes with me yesterday, even though he'd booked the day off and dropped me off at the GPs.

Morning sickness
As for this, this is the cause of all my problems. At home, I am on the very edge of being sick 24/7 and it's exausting. Its ruining my work life and making my home life miserable. When i'm at work it causes me to throw up on a regular basis as im bending, moving and on my feet all the time. I feel sick when im hungry, unable to move to get myself food, so i get hungrier and sicker. I feel sick when i eat as nothing seems to settle it, and beleive me ive tried everything. All food is unappetising to me now, nothing tastes good and i havnt fancied anything since this started, apart from tinned tuna... which i can only have twice a week. It makes me cry sometimes when im on my own and i cant do even the simplest housework, i feel so very useless. My OH tells me to push against it, he seems to think i'll build up an immunity to feeling sick as its always there so just get used to it. I keep trying to explain haow there is no way that will work, its not like having the flu for a couple of days. The only thing that makes me feel better is a bath, but i cant live in the tub. Oh yea, and for some bizzare reason, I throw up every time i come out of the shower.... I dont have the foggiest why.

I spend every day here at home, on my own, feeling and being sick. I'm exausted, always cold and dont enjoy anything anymore. I have no friends to come and spend time with me and no nearby reletives. I feel so alone and sad and i wish i knew it would get better, but i cant see a light at the end of the tunnel. Top it all with the fact that i'm constantly worried that i'm going to loose baby, i'm going slowly mad.

I will probably show this to my OH so if any of you want to offer him advice on dealing with me, please do so as I dont have a clue.

Really sorry for this rant. Help me.

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Oh hun, wish I could give you a proper hug!
I TOTALLY understand what you are going through, some of the things you've written have made me realise just why I've been feeling down recently. No-one can understand unless they're going through the exact same thing, and although we can't expect them to, it'd be nice to have some sympathy now and again!
I even said to my OH it'd be a hell of a lot easier to live apart for the first 3 months cos he can't possibly understand how I feel and even when he does try to be sympathetic, it's all 'yeah, I'm really knackered too', and that pisses me off even more!

As for my boss, he reckons his OH worked all through her pregnancy with no problems whatsoever, and he keep referring to the fact that she's short and small like me - as if that makes our pregnancies the same????!!!???

Anyway, don't apologise for ranting on here, it's the only place where anyone can understand xxx

 

[louise280981]

oh lovely i totally understand where your coming from and feel for you lovely!! im lucky as i dont work at the moment but i can totally understand how you would struggle too work and just being around the smells in a coffee shop would make me feel sick!!
i dont think your oh understand how horrible it makes you feel from the horrid taste in your mouth, too gagging non stop and just being so tired!! it will pass lovely well im praying it does as i have had enough!! its hard not to get upset about it xxx
wish i could help you more and if i was around the corner i would pop round and give you a hug we could be sick together hehe

thinking of you lovely we are here to listen xxx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

Aw Hun, I know how you fill! I promise it will get better though! While my m/s was at it's worse, I was throwing up up to 7 times a day but still having to look after my daughter! I found it very hard to get up out of bed and would fill angry because I couldn't look after my daughter and the house. Luckily my o/h works away during the week so I'd skip cooking meals and me and my daughter lived on sandwiches but when he did come home he'd call me lazy! Grrr
I've been very lucky with work, I've only thrown up twice at work so far and they do let me take it easy when I'm feeling weak.
I really do hope you start to feel better soon, rest as much as poss and if your o/h does read this please help her, it's not easy being pregnant!! x x x

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

I know how your feeling the sickness is draining me and I have no energy at all most of the day everyone says take it easy and lie down that makes the sickness worse if I lie on my back or side in bed, plus I have my daughter Mia who is 5 and I have to get up to take her to school then head to work and then head home and get her from school to go home and make the dinner, me and my partner have just moved into the house we bought and I have no energy at all to decorate xx

 

[MrsR]

Aw honey x everyone is different! 1st time with DD I carried on working fine, no sickness or anything! This time I'm not working because of back problems I have but honestly I do not think I'd of been able to! I'm really lucky, my OH ran around like a headless chicken for 10 weeks, getting dinner cooked, DD washed/dressed/to school on time, cleaning the house etc Unfortunatly I think most men don't understand as it's something they don't have to deal with and will never experience! x I would ignore your work mates and just get on with your job x as had as it is (I wasn't well liked in my last job by the 'In' crowd (and wouldn't want to be either)) x your boss has told you to take as many breaks as you need so ignore your deputy, it's not his choice!, it's your bosses choice! Bitches will always bitch, let's hope they suffer as much if they ever get pg! I don't really know what else to say babe x just big big hugs x x

 

[frankie707]

Oh Wolfie, sorry its hitting you this hard. I haven't told anyone at work, except my boss, so I am having to try and hide my symptoms at the moment, luckily I am not feeling very sick until I get home in the evening times and DH works away during week so I can relax a bit and house is a total tip

To your OH I would say he needs to understand that pregnancy is an extremely draining experience both physically (sickness and tiredness) and emotionally (worry of miscarriage and coping with the enormity of becoming a mummy in a few months) and unfortunately he just needs to be 110% supportive no matter what!

 

[KatieB]

Aw lovely Im so sorry you're feeling so poo. Its really not easy, the only thing even close to trying to get a man to understand how it makes you feel is to ask him to imagine a permanent hangover 24/7. There will always be someone at work (usually a woman who should really be more understanding) ready to put you down or bitch about not pulling weight....its nothing to do with them and if they have nothing better to do with their time then you can only pity them. Luckily I work in an office full of men..they wouldn't have a clue I was being sick even if I walked in with vomit on my chin, the only raised eye so far has been at my boobs which have quadrupled in size(blessing in disguise!) I have found ginger biscuits really help and boiled sweets, maybe you could try it even if really don't fancy it at all? Wish I could give you a massive hug and hope everything gets better real soon x x

 

[Rosie's Mummy]

Poor you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: work - give ACAS a ring on 08457 474747 they will give you some excellent advice about work as it sounds as if you might be being discriminated against.

Re: husband - let him read some of the posts on here..

Re: morning sickness - the only thing that worked forme were Seabands, the things you put on your wrists that work with Acupressure to ease the sickness. I hope it improves for you xxxxx

 

[kay126]

Oh yea, and for some bizzare reason, I throw up every time i come out of the shower.... I dont have the foggiest why.

SNAP!!!!! my stomach starts churning when i start washing my hair then by the time ive washed it i have to get out then and there and my OH is ready with a towel to wrap me up so i can then retch over the toilet seat! im starting to think its to do with the hot air and steam, if i leave the shower door open a little the cold air coming in makes it a bit better xxx

 

[Mamafy]

totally empathise hun, I also coming out of the shower

 

[Tasha89]

If it's any consolation - i'm having a shite time with work atm. Just try your best to keep your chin up, big 's xx

 

[Stunned]

You are not alone here! I'm the same with permanent all day nausea, my last proper meal was 11 days ago and to top it off I have a tummy bug too. Went to the doctors today and she was very sympathetic and got me signed off work cos I just have no energy at all at the moment. I spend my days on the sofa sleeping and thinking about food that I can't eat. I'm dehydrated too so I'm forcing myself to drink more fluids even though it makes me feel so queasy. My OH is trying his best but sometimes I feel like he is deliberately cooking strong smelling foods for himself and the kids (to be fair to him, at the moment ALL food smells strong to me!) Me mum just keeps on at me to eat bran flakes as if that would help me feel better - I bloody hate the stuff! I'm just dreading the next few weeks now . Oh well, we live to fight another day eh?