Funny/embarrassing things kids say

[Emmamb]

I'm sure there will b a thread like this somewhere but thought I'd start a fresh one

what funny or embarrassing things have ur kids said,my kids have come out with some corkers in the past but I've forgotten most of them

here's a few from the mind of my 4 yr old:

stood in meat section of tesco 'mummy does chicken come from pigs?'

when talking about police 'will they use their handpuffs?!'

look of disgust as he examines my face then announces that mummy has a moustache!!

Sat in a crowded doctors surgery,he asks at the top of his voice 'mummy is that lady old?' I pretend not to hear and quickly change the subject to which he replies 'AHEM,AHEM-this lady here mum!' whilst pointin his finger at her. God I couldve died!

 

[FebMum2Be]

How cute x

 

[Laverne]

Love these little stories.

My 3 year old went to use some public toilets with her Grandma today as we were in a restaurant. When they were both in the cubicle and she'd used the toilet she said...

'Grandma that's my fairy' (fairy being her preferred word for her you know what!)
'Grandma can I see your fairy?'
'Errr No Alice'
'Please Grandma. PLEASE'
'No Alice'
'Why Grandma?'
'Errr'
'Why? Why? Why?'

As they left the cubicle there were a line of sniggering women outside queuing to use the loo's

 

[ShadowWolf]

XD Wonderful! I'm half looking forward to this from Lilly and half dreading it! Heh...

xxx

 

[amyjayne77]

Lol that's funny.

In a cafe I started coughing:
me: it's gone down the wrong hole..."
my 4 year old: "your bum hole...?"

in barclays

same 4 yr old:"does bank rhyme with wank?"

she does not know this word, she was just making up really random rhymes!!

 

[MrsR]

Lol! Love the things that kids come out with! DD hasn't said anything lately and I've forgot the stuff she has said!

 

[flexilexi394]

My friends kid was trying to get my attention the other day but she was hitting me and screaming "alex!" (what a lot of people call me) finally she gave up and said "oh for fuck sake" I nearly died! X

 

[flexilexi394]

And she's 2 and a half.

 

[LilyMac]

It was my nephews bday party last weekend and he'd just turned 3. After blowing out his candles he declared he'd just "shit a brick" I nearly pissed myself!

Lee dropped prawn crackers all over the place one day and my niece called him a dirty bitch.

The same niece.. We was on a packed bus and her trousers were falling down and her top was up round her shoulders so Lee sorted her out and she shouted "uncle Lee just touched my fairy" I quickly moved to the back of the bus she then declared she had a massive bogie up her nose. Mortified isn't the word

 

[MrsR]

Ooooh remembered one! DD was 3 and we were taking her to her nanas for the day. We got in the car and drove off. We were chatting away when suddenly DD comes out with 'oh shit I forgot my dolly!' it was sooooo funny and totally in context! Dunno where she got it from though as we'd always been careful not to swear in front of her and thankfully she's never said it again!

 

[Lander]

After many car trips with her grumpy driver Dad, my then two year cousin randomly shouted out 'fudding dunt' from the back seat......


When I took my goddaughters to see Tangled there was a trailer for the new Winnie the Pooh movie, Pooh bear was rubbing his belly dreaming of honey and the 8yr old turned to me and asked if Pooh was pregnant.... I said no, he's a bear, it's just stuffing.....

 

[scaredmum2be]

Haha keep it up ladies i cant wait to hear more Although my boy has only just started saying dadda although he says it all the time i cant wait to see some outtakes of naughtyness lol.
I love this thread hope it keeps on rolling. x

 

[Princess81]

Growing up in guernsey I was only ever surrounded by White people. When I was on holiday when I was 3 mum says I saw a black family and went up and asked them if they'd stayed out in the sun too long. How embarrassing

 

[amyjayne77]

Aww, when I was driving home the other day the kids were talking about one of the teachers and i said "is that the black lady and she said thoughtfully...."no... she's kind of....peachy!" . I could have ate her up lol.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Aw my katie's just starting to come out with some crackers! I used to babysit my next-door neighbours hen I was younger, one of them once turned round and asked if I had chicken pox! Erm, no! Why do you have spots all over your face then?!

Katie turned to me last night whilst sat on my knee, looked a my tummy and went "mummy's EVERYWHERE!" cheeky!!

And then there was the, flamingo incident! She was flicking thru a book and shouted "mummy, there's a n****r in my book!" it was just mispronunciation and she's never heard te word before, but I almost died!

 

[midnight]

my ds who is disabled told a man on the beach he had a fat belly and when i told him thats not a nice thing to say he said but look mum he is fat it didnt help the mans wife was almost wetting herself laughing

again at the zoo he told everyone to move as he couldnt see the monkeys through the glass what shocked me most was they moved

and something recent he keeps doing there is a man with a huge afro and everytime he sees him he points and howls laughing saying look at his hair he doesnt half embarrass me sometimes

my eldest dd " ewww this house needs cleaning its got cobwebs" this was as we was in an elderly relative concervatory

my sister when she was little said to a black man on the bus ive got a golliwog like you my dad was mortified and she has never lived it down

my dd 7 who was about 4 or 5 at the time we was paving the back garden and an old man popped his head round the fence and just started chatting to us then off he went and she shouted silly old man

and again she came in from playing out sometime last year saying her flu hurt (what she calls her bits) so we asked her if she had fallen or banged it and she said no then she said i think ive got that swine flu i nearly peed myself

she also told her dad when you die im going to drive your car haha

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

your kids are mint!

 

[midnight]

my kids know how to show me up lol i wouldnt change them though its not funny at the time but they dont half make me chuckle when i think of the things they say

 

[inky]

my nephew says some funny things (he's just turned 3), I was changing Cahals nappy and he started telling me that his winky was bigger than Cahals. He then pulled his trousers down to show me, obviously feeling proud. Then he looked even prouder and told me that his Daddys was the biggest but he wasn't there to show me (thankfully lol!)

Same nephew made me laugh this weekend too, he was waiting for the milkman to come because he was also delivering some biscuits. One of my SILs neighbours popped over and S ran to the door expecting the milkman. He looked a big confused when he saw it wasn't a milkman but then before SIL could said hello said 'oi, you got my biscuits lady?' She said she was very sorry but no, she didn't have his biscuits. He went on about the bloody biscuits for so long she ended up taking him back to hers next door to get some lol!

 

[midnight]

my ds today aged 2 cracked me up today when we are in the car he likes to tell us when we need to stop or go at the traffic light so walking through town today he suddenly shouts stop we have to wait so we asked him why and he pointed to the traffic light and said its red lol i think i need to tell him when walking down the pavement we dont have to stop just the cars on the road or at the pelican crossing lol