seraphim
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2012
- Messages
- 103
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I went on the pill for PCOS and because every AF i had was too heavy for any tampons etc to cope with.It worked.great.
I came off said pill to ttc and dr said my age meant id have to come off it anyways.
After coming off it a long time ago now,i had precision regular periods.
then the pre AF pains kicked in slowly.what i called ovulation cramps because it seemed to be the right time and position.
What with no sign of a baby conceived,drs again,semen test shows low sperm count (something id suspected was the case i have kids OH has none).
Then out of the blue AF is 5 days late april this year.
after getting over the devastation and effect it had on me mentally,things went right back to clockwork the following month.Still with increasingly worsening pains pre AF and ovulation and increasingly heavy AF too.
This month i would have been due 25th ,nothing.Historically id have a 30 day cycle.
pains and the creamy discharge you associate with pregnancy.
I refused to be fooled though.Felt like my body was playing some big joke on me.and low and behold this time 33 days AF turn up.
Preceeding it and during the first couple of days the most extremely bad period pains.But different to what id call a classic AF.
Like in April when it started late and was v.v.v. light and brown (old blood) then heavier brown,then after few days turned to proper mentrual red blood.
Same again this time.I got like half ay through AF before it actually kicked in properly and i saw red blood.Before that it was just the old brown blood.
Anyway,im feeling sick of it.Its just not on having to accept that once a month or however long it spontaneously decides to be,im going to be ill.
I read lots of things here that so many women go through and it just makes me so mad sometimes that dr's can be so dismissive about things which can completely control your life.
Maybe its just me being tired of feeling like its all in the hands of other people and i want to take the bull by the horns and get somewhere with all this,i dont know...i just get exasperated by seeing others and experiencing this no mans land of what if's and maybe's that right now at least i feel i need to *make* a dr *do* something that doesnt make me feel like im in limbo.
I want to feel like i know my own body,that i understand who i am biologically ( if ive got probs of my own in conceving for example),what effect any pre existing medical conditions ive got have,what the reality is for me and fertility assistance on the nhs and above all i feel if any medic tells me to relax and wait and see what happens im going to have a hard time restraining myself from punching them in the face!
I get the impression when dr's are aware you are ttc they see it as this sterile singular issue.have no empathy for the feelings,complications,stress effects it can have on you,your relationship,your relationships with others.
That there is this presumption that they know it all anyway and if you do have anxieties and concerns and want to address them (get tests done) that youre being ever so slightly paranoid or a bit pushy....
I have an overwhelming need too get across the actual reality that a baby is really a massive and fundamental change to ones life,future and everything.so treating it like its some off the cuff nothing and speaking to those ttc in such a way that prolongs the hugely important event of making a baby is just .....annoying and patronising in the extreme.
I am sorry ladies,its just getting on my nerves finding myself and lots of others in this sort of ttc limbo of poor medical support.especially those instances where you susect there could be medical problems and youre being made to wait for X amount of time because a dr arbitrarily decides you must.
just.....meh!
I came off said pill to ttc and dr said my age meant id have to come off it anyways.
After coming off it a long time ago now,i had precision regular periods.
then the pre AF pains kicked in slowly.what i called ovulation cramps because it seemed to be the right time and position.
What with no sign of a baby conceived,drs again,semen test shows low sperm count (something id suspected was the case i have kids OH has none).
Then out of the blue AF is 5 days late april this year.
after getting over the devastation and effect it had on me mentally,things went right back to clockwork the following month.Still with increasingly worsening pains pre AF and ovulation and increasingly heavy AF too.
This month i would have been due 25th ,nothing.Historically id have a 30 day cycle.
pains and the creamy discharge you associate with pregnancy.
I refused to be fooled though.Felt like my body was playing some big joke on me.and low and behold this time 33 days AF turn up.
Preceeding it and during the first couple of days the most extremely bad period pains.But different to what id call a classic AF.
Like in April when it started late and was v.v.v. light and brown (old blood) then heavier brown,then after few days turned to proper mentrual red blood.
Same again this time.I got like half ay through AF before it actually kicked in properly and i saw red blood.Before that it was just the old brown blood.
Anyway,im feeling sick of it.Its just not on having to accept that once a month or however long it spontaneously decides to be,im going to be ill.
I read lots of things here that so many women go through and it just makes me so mad sometimes that dr's can be so dismissive about things which can completely control your life.
Maybe its just me being tired of feeling like its all in the hands of other people and i want to take the bull by the horns and get somewhere with all this,i dont know...i just get exasperated by seeing others and experiencing this no mans land of what if's and maybe's that right now at least i feel i need to *make* a dr *do* something that doesnt make me feel like im in limbo.
I want to feel like i know my own body,that i understand who i am biologically ( if ive got probs of my own in conceving for example),what effect any pre existing medical conditions ive got have,what the reality is for me and fertility assistance on the nhs and above all i feel if any medic tells me to relax and wait and see what happens im going to have a hard time restraining myself from punching them in the face!
I get the impression when dr's are aware you are ttc they see it as this sterile singular issue.have no empathy for the feelings,complications,stress effects it can have on you,your relationship,your relationships with others.
That there is this presumption that they know it all anyway and if you do have anxieties and concerns and want to address them (get tests done) that youre being ever so slightly paranoid or a bit pushy....
I have an overwhelming need too get across the actual reality that a baby is really a massive and fundamental change to ones life,future and everything.so treating it like its some off the cuff nothing and speaking to those ttc in such a way that prolongs the hugely important event of making a baby is just .....annoying and patronising in the extreme.
I am sorry ladies,its just getting on my nerves finding myself and lots of others in this sort of ttc limbo of poor medical support.especially those instances where you susect there could be medical problems and youre being made to wait for X amount of time because a dr arbitrarily decides you must.
just.....meh!
