First time mum

Discussion in 'Postnatal Questions' started by Redhead, Nov 1, 2016.

  1. Redhead

    Redhead Well-Known Member

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    I had my little boy three weeks ago and i love him however i do feel completely all over the place.
    I'm exhausted, he spends his days fighting sleep, eventually goes to sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon, Wakes up fusses some more until midnight where he will sleep for 3 hours, feeds, then 2 hours, feeds, then he may sleep for an hour or so, or sometimes he doesn't. I know he isn't getting enough sleep during the day and it's a day full of trying to get him to sleep, and his eyes are heavy but he doesn't commit to sleeping and if he does its for about ten minutes. This daily fight is exhausting.
    I have no support during the day, and feel quite isolated and out of my depth.
    i want to go to the breast feeding group in my area to meet some people but I'm just so tired and I'm nervous as to what they will think of me.
    I have noone I feel I can talk to about this and I feel quite emotional, my husband would listen but I feel like i can't talk to him without a bit of resentment as he gets to sleep and get out of the house without a baby attached to him and that makes me feel awful that I think that way.
     
  2. JD.Deedee

    JD.Deedee Well-Known Member

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    Don't feel weird or guilty as it's totally normal! My lad is 3,5 and I still feel like that in regards to him being able to escape to work and such! I would recommend baby wearing, I've always regretted not getting a good sling or ergonomic carrier or both and going somewhere to do that.. I regret not having done the baby massage thing.. it's just little things that over a long term can make it easier and it does get easier in steps of every 2 weeks! People at the groups will totally relate to how you feel as they're likely feel the same. You've also got to think there's no obligation to go to the groups or then having to go every single week, they'll understand that it can be hard or that if you get a moment to rest or do something for yourself you might want to do that rather than venture out. Especially at this age it's extremely hard but over the next two weeks it will slowly but surely get easier!


     
  3. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Hey i felt like this and my baby is now 20 weeks. Im currently sat up feeding her while OH is asleep. I also regret not getting good a good sling. I also started expressing so hubby can help as I spent everyday crying. I was having alot of feeding issues and it got to me alot. Thankfully feeding g is ok now but when you bf you are tied to your baby. Give a bottle of breast milk so you can have a break. Go to baby groups I was nervous and don't go all the time but if you want to make friends then you need to go to the same one each week really. Also speak to your HV about how your feeling they may be able to help.x
     
  4. Redhead

    Redhead Well-Known Member

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    I told my health visitor at the last visit, I have good days and bad days and when she came i was having a good day. I feel terrible that i feel the way i do especially because I love him so much, but my God this is hard work. I have a sling so I'll give that a go. I might look at expressing for at least one feed do I need to do anything particular for it? Is there a good time to express?
    I just needed to vent so thanks for the responses guys.
     
  5. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    It's called if you can do it one side and feed on the other at the same time. This is because him feeding will stimulate the let down on the other side. It might be you need to do this a couple of times in the day to get bottle amount. Try different times and see what's best for you. For me it's morning for my friend it's the night so everyone is different. Call your HV again and tell her you have good and bad but you still have these feelings. Unfortunately it's those that shout the loudest get the most help xx
     

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