First midwife appointment - so upset :(

[RB1]

I had my first midwife appointment today and expected to feel so happy and excited after it and I just feel so upset.

The appointment was 50 mins late, then I found out the midwife I'm supposed to have was off, my appointment was really rushed - I have to fill in paperwork at home but after looking at it I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to fill in.

Then she asked if I want a dating scan or a nuchal scan - nobody had told me I have to make a decision like that on the spot. Then as I'm deciding my partners work phone starts ringing - and he goes and takes the call!!!! I'm so angry and upset with him for taking a call during my first midwife appointment. I don't want him at any of my other appointments now.

I haven't been given a bounty pack, I don't even know what one is - I've just seen people say they were given them, and she didn't take bloods!

I feel let down by the midwife and then let down by my partner. I'm also stressing because in the end I went for just a dating scan, and she told me I can't change my mind to a nuchal one now - and she wouldn't give me proper advice on it!! How am I supposed to know which one I'm meant to have when I haven't been given any information prior to my appointment and she won't give me advice!!

 

[PeaPod]

I haven't had my booking in appointment yet so I don't really know what to expect but it certainly sounds like you should have been given more information. Would you feel comfortable speaking to them again and just say that although you appreciate that they must have been very busy, you didn't feel like you got any information about the scans before being put on the spot to make a decision and also, should you have had a blood test as many people you know say that they do at this stage. If I were you I would definitely say something. Hugs!

 

[RB1]

Thanks Peapod, I don't know what to do really. I'm due back in 4 weeks and will hopefully have a better appointment then!

 

[masonowen]

They should do the nuchal check at your dating scan?!?! I,ve never hear of them being done seperate. I would say something as you should have had blood taken and your notes sorted.

 

[tinytoy]

Hi,

I had a really rubbish experience too. My booking appointment isn't until 9 and a half weeks but everyone in my area has to go to a pre-booking information session. I thought they would tell us specifics about antenatal appointments and services in our area but she just banged on about how great home births are (I don't care I'm NOT having one). Then she told us loads of stuff that was completely wrong like we shouldn't be exercising and we couldn't eat any sheelfish at all (only raw shellfish is out according to the National Food Standards Agency and everything else I've read). I couldn't believe I actually knew more than the person who is supposed to be looking after us and now I feel really scared that all the midwives are going to be this crap and I'm worried about the standard of care I'm going to receive.

So you're not alone is all I'm saying but they really should have explained the screening tests better. You can get private nuchal lucency scans in my area so it might be an option if you really decide you want one. They might be doing your bloods when they see you next - most areas don't do booking appointments until between 8 and 10 weeks.

Hope this helps, hun.

 

[cosmicgirl]

My mw offered me the choice and as its important to me to rule out downs, I opted for the nuchal scan with combined bloods.
I didn't get a bounty pack but I'm onto baby number 5 so I don't think I really need/want one.
She should have taken bloods, taken a urine sample off you, done height, weight and blood pressure xx

 

[Jessywoohoo]

Some places don't do nuchal scan at the dating scan, in my area they don't offer it and you have to get it done privately. Did you get a number for the midwife you are meant to have, might be worth giving her a call just to clarify things and let het know that you would like some more information x

 

[RB1]

I got told I could have a nuchal scan or a normal dating scan, and she really frightened me by saying if I have the nuchal it could show a thickness in the neck and I'd then have to have an amnio but it could all be a false positive and I could end up having a miscarriage with a healthy baby!!

Supposedly I could ask for the nuchal but then decide on the day to have normal dating, but absolutely not have the nuchal if I was referred for just dating.

I just wanted her to advise me on what I should do, not frighten me by saying I could miscarry a healthy baby.

I work in the NHS and I feel so let down by the care I'm getting, the doctor told me nothing and the midwife put me on the spot and confused me!!

 

[Looby82]

Aw first of all hugs

It sounds horrible for you in what should be an exciting time!

I would maybe call up and just ask someone else to explain the difference to you as you felt you couldn't make an informed choice? It's important you get it right hon. We dot get the nuchal scan in our area either.

I have my dating scan and booking appointment at the same time here so I don't get any options on what I want or don't want.

 

[cosmicgirl]

It does measure fluid behind the babies neck but you do not HAVE to have amnio, that's your choice.
The risk of mc after amnio is very very low, less than 1% as far as I'm aware.
Sounds like you've been very mis informed x

 

[Froslass]

If given nuchal scan they do it with combined bloods hun xx they wouldn't do an amnio with out doing bloods first and the bloods will give the liklihood of you baby having a chromosomal abnormality x

The nuchal scan isn't a positive or negative, its a measurement from the back of the neck which combined with bloods will give u your liklihood x

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using Tapatalk

 

[mrswoody]

RB1..so sorry to hear about your first experience. It really is awful the way she treated you. I'd call back up like someone else said andask to see the midwife your meant to be having or at least to talk to her on the phone. It's really not fair that your left feeling like this.
Maybe hubby is just really overwhelmed and didn't realise taking the call was so bad, we all know how mens minds work after all
x

 

[RB1]

Thanks everyone - I really don't think she did explain the nuchal to me properly, she made it sound like if something untoward showed I would HAVE to have the amnio.

I'm completely fed up of the surgery, doctors attitudes stink and the midwifery appointments seem a shambles, a lady waiting said midwife normally runs an hour late! My work really aren't going to be happy with me having to take extra time off because of long waits for my appointments.

On a positive I am moving in full time with my OH in 2 weeks, at the moment I live between two houses. The appointment I have in 4 weeks will be the last time I use that surgery, although I spose changing midwives etc part way through isn't great.

 

[mrz85]

sorry ur midwife appot didnt go smooth hugs x

 

[Lynds77]

in my area the booking in appointment is done in two halves. The first you get your form and are told to fill it in at home yourself, then you get given loads of leaflets on all the different kinds of tests and told to decide which ones you want before your next appointment. Then when you go to your next appointment armed with your completed paperwork and pee sample she takes your bloods etc etc .

i didnt get a bounty pack either....... and she forgot to book my scan for me.......

 

[RB1]

in my area the booking in appointment is done in two halves. The first you get your form and are told to fill it in at home yourself, then you get given loads of leaflets on all the different kinds of tests and told to decide which ones you want before your next appointment. Then when you go to your next appointment armed with your completed paperwork and pee sample she takes your bloods etc etc .

i didnt get a bounty pack either....... and she forgot to book my scan for me.......

Having time to make a decision sounds much better than what happened today! Not good forgetting to book your scan though! If I don't have a letter in 2 weeks I'll be ringing to find out if my referral has gone in!

 

[Loula]

Sounds to me that youve been trated really crappy and i would defo complain.
Was it at a doctors surgery, community centre or hospital. I had mine at a community centre and my bloods didnt get taken until after the 12 weeks scan.

 

[Mum2betash]

I'm sorry it was a bad experience, could you go elsewhere? I must admit id be the same if my oh took a call. I've got my first appointment today but my oh has an operation at the same time but insisted I still go, he was before his appointment was moved going to work instead of coming with me. Hope all future appointments are better for you x

 

[Robyn_mcl]

Aw first of all hugs

It sounds horrible for you in what should be an exciting time!

I would maybe call up and just ask someone else to explain the difference to you as you felt you couldn't make an informed choice? It's important you get it right hon. We dot get the nuchal scan in our area either.
I have my dating scan and booking appointment at the same time here so I don't get any options on what I want or don't want.

hi looby!!

Just noticed you are in Glasgow too... I was reading through old posts regarding first and booking appointments. I've just had my first appointment with a midwife at my doctors surgery.. She's told me of get my booking appointment and scan and bloods don't at 12 Weeks, I was pretty shocked as I thought blood had to be done before then?
What hospital are you going to? I chose the southern..
Did you get a letter for your first scan and booking date?
Sorry for all the questions... Lol
Xxx

 

[babyem]

I didn't get bloods done at my first appt, they didn't do it til later, and I had to fill in most of my paperwork.. Its not uncommon I dont think x