Fifth time lucky?

[HeppiBean]

Hi girls!

Ok, so as some of you now know I'm pregnant with number 2! The Daddy is a guy called Nathan. N and I first dated 4 years ago, again 6 months later, again 4 months later and again a year later... The last time was 2 years ago. We've been getting very close again recently after a mutual friend told us that we should stop fart a**eing around and get on with it 'cause we're just "meant to be". We laughed at her at the time but decided to see how things went.

A few weeks after the mutual friend incident we went out for a drink and N ended up staying the night. It was the first time we dtd in 2 years, and the only time... On Tuesday I found out I was pregnant. We are now back together and have been looking at places etc (we've lived together before and got on ok) I am worried about whether he's just decided we should get back together just because of the baby though. He means the world to me, always has tbh, and I'm really happy that we're back together and stuff... But is he just with me because of the baby?!

It could just be me freaking out, but I'm really concerned about this. Whether our feelings are mutual, or what... We've got 8 months left to work out what's going on and I really don't want to rush this, but at the same point we do need to get the ball rolling on properties as when beansprout arrives there won't be enough room for me and 2 kiddies here at my Dads'.

Opinions girls?

Katie xx

 

[Jayjay027]

I think looking at places to live together etc, shows that he is more serious and not just feeling trapped. Also, the fact that you both have been on and off for so long means that he must have feelings for u to keep getting back with u.

But ultimately, the only way you'll know how he feels is to speak to him about ur concerns. I'm sure he'll put ur mind at rest x

 

[HeppiBean]

I'm seeing him on Sunday so might have to speak to him then :/ It's just I had such a hard time with Francescas' dad that I'm really worried now... xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Firstly massive congrats!!!
It sounds like you just need some reassurance babe and lots of cuddles sounds like it was meant to be xxx

 

[HeppiBean]

Thanks hun! Wow! Can't believe your little girl is 7 months already!!xx

 

[pringle88]

The only thing I wanted to say is don't rush into moving in together just because you are pregnant. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do and it completely messed everything up. We ended up breaking up and although he is back here now we aren't the same, infact I feel like we are both just waiting for the other to say were done. I wish we had taken it steady from the start because I really think things would be different. Obviously every couple is different, this is just how it was for me

I really hope it works out for you

 

[HeppiBean]

Thanks Pringle xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I agree with Pringle - and I would make sure he is doing it for the right reasons - not just becuase he feels he should "stand by you" so to speak.

I have to admit that things having not worked out before would make me ultra cautious!

My OH and I were together for 3 years (ages 15-18) and then had a nine year break. We both had other serious relationships and lived a lot during that time.

In 2007 we bumped into each again as adults and that was it... Within months we were living togehter.

However we had 4 years together as a couple before we began TTC so our situation is very different.

Giving the relationship another go sounds like a good idea but be very careful about moving in together immediately

Best of luck!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[l_maclean]

Maybe he is doing this "just for the baby" but it could be in the sense that it has given him the kick he needed to get serious iykwim.

If your not sure can u afford to rent somewhere on the premise that he'll not live there right away but move in slowly?? Just to see how you get on. Xxx


On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

 

[HeppiBean]

I agree with Pringle - and I would make sure he is doing it for the right reasons - not just becuase he feels he should "stand by you" so to speak.

I have to admit that things having not worked out before would make me ultra cautious!

My OH and I were together for 3 years (ages 15-18) and then had a nine year break. We both had other serious relationships and lived a lot during that time.

In 2007 we bumped into each again as adults and that was it... Within months we were living togehter.

However we had 4 years together as a couple before we began TTC so our situation is very different.

Giving the relationship another go sounds like a good idea but be very careful about moving in together immediately

Best of luck!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

When things haven't worked out before they've been because of me. I used to be a very different person to who I am now... To put it bluntly I was a bit of a slag and kept cheating on him. But that is the old me. I have changed drastically since then so I believe we could have a better go at it now than before... But I am worried about him just being with me to stand by the baby like you said... I definitely think we need to have a serious talk. What ever happens I need to get a place any way as there isn't space here so I might get a place by myself then move N in further down the line if things are going well. Does that sound like a better option? xx

 

[HeppiBean]

Maybe he is doing this "just for the baby" but it could be in the sense that it has given him the kick he needed to get serious iykwim.

If your not sure can u afford to rent somewhere on the premise that he'll not live there right away but move in slowly?? Just to see how you get on. Xxx


On my iPhone - so cant see tickers

Yeah, that's what I was thinking of doing xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Well things sound very positive hun, it sounds like you've grown up a lot and realised what you want and luckily he still seems to want to same things...

As I say me and OH had a 9 year break and we both saw other people and did other things and experienced life.

When they time was right we met up again and the rest is history

So it all sounds very positive with you two!

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[HeppiBean]

Thanks carnat. I realy do hope things work out for the best xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Thanks hun! Wow! Can't believe your little girl is 7 months already!!xx

Its crazy how quick the time goes!
Maybe taking it slow would be good.. Like you've said, you've changed.. Maybe he has too? Use the baby free time to get to know each other again.. Babies can put such a strain on a relationship.. Youll still be in the honeymoon period for a while.. I fell pg after three months with my OH and tbh things aren't the way they were now we are comfortable with each other u know? We lived together straight away as he had to give up uni in Southampton and had nowhere else to live while working over here..
I hope this time it works for u.. Make sure he reassures you your together because it's you not the baby, or you'll be thinking it through your whole relationship.. Clear the air on your concerns now before it takes over.. I've always thought being with me was a convenience not coz he loved me, and we even had a huge row about it last night
Xxx

 

[Lander]

Well things sound very positive hun, it sounds like you've grown up a lot and realised what you want and luckily he still seems to want to same things...

As I say me and OH had a 9 year break and we both saw other people and did other things and experienced life.

When they time was right we met up again and the rest is history

So it all sounds very positive with you two!

xxxxxxxxxx

*hope* Thank you

Lxx

 

[HeppiBean]

We're all good, he spent 3 hours on sunday stressing that he is definitely not only with me because of teh baby and he said that he always has and still does love me and that that will never change which is why i didn't hear from him for a couple of years because he couldnt bear to see me with other people etc etc so yeah xx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

That's good to hear! Put those negative thoughts behind you and enjoy your new relationship xx