Feeling really unsupported (bit of a long whinge)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Rhelen91, Mar 17, 2016.

  1. Rhelen91

    Rhelen91 Well-Known Member

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    Feeling a bit miffed tonight and need to let off some steam. Sorry for the long post that this is going to be.

    I'm not usually one to have a go about my OH but this past week he's been really getting under my skin and being really unsupportive.

    He works Tuesdays and Wednesdays normal shifts (home by 4/5pm) and then does a long day on Thursdays (usually home by 7.30pm), and I work over the weekends. We found this set up more affordable than having to fork out for childcare and our employers were good enough to adapt our hours/days of work so that we could work around each other.

    Whenever he gets home from work the first thing he does is put his laptop on, and sit going through facebook and his silly gaming forums. Some nights he sits on that laptop until 2/3oclock in the morning!!! It has always been something that annoys me and we've had many discussions about it yet nothing ever changes.

    This week I've been feeling dreadful, constantly tired and sickly, have been throwing up more often and have had constant headaches, so have been asking for more help than I usually would with our toddlers bath and bed time, and general tidying up etc.

    Last night after I put my toddler to bed I did a quick tidy up and then said I was going to go up and have a bath and get into bed for an early night. Leaving him downstairs on the laptop. By the time I got out of the bath he was in bed, asleep and snoring. He NEVER goes to bed before midnight usually. So before 10pm this was completely unnatural.

    I didnt think much of it, and just got into bed. But when I was still being kept awake at 2am by his snoring I finally cracked and came downstairs but even then I didnt get to sleep until 5am because I was cold and couldn't get comfortable. When he got up for work I asked him why he went to bed so early and got the response "well you were so I thought it would be a good idea" (he knows he snores and he knows he keeps me awake!!)

    He left the house at 7:15am and my toddler was up by half past 7, and so my day began on less than 3 hours sleep. She doesn't nap during the day, and so by the time my OH got home tonight at 7pm I was completely exhausted. I told him that I desperately needed an early night tonight, and would he be able to give our daughter her supper and do the bedtime routine etc whilst I tidied all the toys away. His response "I need my tea. Can you not manage" (bear in mind all I've had to eat today is a few bits of toast) so I sorted out her supper, got her pyjamas on and teeth brushed, read the story and settled her in.. came back downstairs to him finishing his tea (not offering to make me anything or ask if I've eaten yet) and then he said "well I'm knackered so gonna have another early night) and off he went. Leaving his dirty dishes in the sink.

    So now here I am, squished on a small hard sofa again, using my cardigan and a hot water bottle to stay warm. Whilst he is sprawled out in the bed snoring his crust off.

    I just don't know how much more of this selfish attitude I can take.

    Sorry for complaining so much, and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and respond. Hopefully I will get some sleep before work and feel better tomorrow.
     
  2. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Sorry OH is being a dick.

    If Im honest, Id just put him on the couch. Or buy ear plugs if you can. Oh and I snore so its often a fight but i just roll him and he shuts up so not so bad.

    Its awful he didnt make you tea. You need to eat. I would just start to leave his crap behind him let him get on with it. Try and not crack. Obv I would try a chat first but assuming you have just leave him to his devices and even set him things to do as soon as he gets in so he can get his tea if need be then help out about the house.

    xxxx
     
  3. Rhelen91

    Rhelen91 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for replying. I think I just needed to get it all off my chest to be honest cause I felt better as soon as I'd had a bit of a vent.

    I've had some fruit and some more toast so that'll do until morning, and I've just dug the airbed out of the cupboard so I can at least be comfy (wish I'd remembered about that last night lol). He can have an early night downstairs tomorrow night and I'll reclaim my bed.

    To be honest aside from spending way too much time on his tech he isnt usually isnt that bad so I'm not sure why he's doing it. I think I'll sit down tomorrow and have a proper chat about whats going on and see if we can come up with a plan so that everyone is happy and I feel a bit more supported. I guess it's just hard having a sickly pregnancy when you work, have a house to run and a toddler to look after. God help me if I decide to have a 3rd :') xxx
     
  4. Maaaaaac

    Maaaaaac Well-Known Member

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    I love my OH to bits but sometimes a good moan just does the trick! Im sorry to hear though. Its not fair. You def need a proper sleep on a proper bed first off! I would maybe suggest writing up a schedule if that would help. One person dpes tea someone does the bedtime etc. Just try and explain (ridiculous that you should have to though) that things need to change to make it all easier. On both of yous. My OH really doesn't understand the absolute exhaustion I have and weve no other kids but working full time and everything else I do is just taking its toll. He almost huffs when i want to sleep because im not spending enough time with him. I love him to bits and really cant fault him but still, leave me in peace! Lol.
     
  5. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    I agree get him on the sofa you have the bed your pregnant!! Also if your talk doesn't work I would sit down to eat when he gets in and when he asks where is his I'd say in the cupboard waiting for u to make it, I didn't eat the other night and u didn't care so let's see how u like it!! Your calmer than I am I think I would have had it out there and then!
    Hope you manage to have a chat and clear the air x
     

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