Feeling like a failure.

[MrsSmoo]

My LG was born 11 weeks ago and I always assumed I'd ebf until weaning. After my daughter was born we were left alone for over 12 hours due to it being extremely busy on the Labour ward. I tried my best with no help to get her to latch on myself but it quickly became extremely painful. We were let out of hospital the following day and no-one had checked the latch properly or given me any real advice about milk supply etc. When I got home I tried my best to feed my daughter's myself but for some reason my baby would be constantly rooting for food and screaming for more. I was told to pump which I did every 3 hours for ages but couldn't express more than about an ounce for a half hour pumping, I was also told by my midwife that combination feeding was not good for babies (which I now know not to be true) so I resorted to formula and now I eff. I'm gutted. I feel like I've totally failed my daughter. My milk is gone and I cry almost everyday wishing I could have breast fed her for longer.
With that in mind I've read a lot about relactation online and have been trying to hand express to 're stimulate the milk and I'm totally bone dry
Not really sure why I'm posting tbh just needed to get it off my chest xx

 

[freespirit29]

Oh Hun feel for you xxx I don't know abt relactation and I really hope it works. When I had my ds1 I stopped after a few weeks because of weight gain and he wasn't thriving. I like u had no support and felt a huge failure. My ds2 I had amazing midwife and hv and I bf until two yrs old. Now with dd1 I wasn't producing any where enough milk so had to combine with formula. I cried my eyes out and felt a huge failure that my body couldn't cope. It's not ur fault Hun it's total lack of support and I can relate so much. Sending u big hugs and I hope ur milk comes back in. But if it doesn't blame your hv and midwife they should have been more supportive and def not yourself xxxx

 

[MrsSmoo]

Thankyou for that. To be fair my HV is fab. I rang her yesterday and she's very supportive she basically told me bottles have been around since the dawn if time and not to blame myself as I had a fairly traumatic birth with heavy blood loss. It was the midwives who gave me no support. It seems to be a but of a postcode lottery in my area. My friend just had a baby and she's doing really well with the feeding she was kept in longer and given
More help feeding. I never thought for one minute that bf would be so difficult I just assumed it was easy. Your story is encouraging though and gives me hope that I'll manage with my next baby xx

 

[BunnyN]

If it's really something you want to do get some expert advice and consider a nursing supplementer. It is a device with a small tube that the baby gets formula from at the same time as sucking on your breast. Relactation is possible but is often very hard work and takes determination. If you decide to carry on bottle feeding there is nothing wrong with that. Sorry you didn't get the support you should have done.

 

[Natalilly1288]

Don't feel like that hunny I no how u feel as I also had problems I didn't realise how hard it would be and a combination of tiredness n the fact my lo is a grazer n was feeding off me every hour made me start combi feeding but my milk soon dried up after I introduce ff. I cried and cried about it and wish I would have persevered and been able to feed her for 6 months but as Hv even a small amount is better than non bad as long as baby is gaining weight try not to be too upset Hun lots of ppl ff but I no the guilt you are feeling sending you a massive hug xxx

 

[Kiagirl]

I EFF as I just didn't want to BF, it was the best decision ever for us. LO has thrived and everyone gets a turn at feeding which pleases the nannies lol. OH has been more involved and she has even slept out one night a week . I know you are dis but at least your baby is getting what it needs and that's all that matters.

I don't feel guilty about EFF, it worked for us as a family. My philosophy is don't waste time and energy looking back. Be great ful for what you have now and make a mental note to do it diff next time. Enjoy your LO - you are giving them everything they need, they are thriving and how can you possibly top that

 

[Glitter2707]

Wise words from kiagirl!
I can totally relate though. My LO is now 7 weeks old & I am exclusively pumping for her. I too felt like such a failure when we couldn't get direct breastfeeding to work. In the hospital midwives kept saying they'd come and help us with feeding in 5 mind and then never appeared, it was so hard. We also went home with her not feeding properly as I was so desperate to get out of hospital, resulting in lots of tears from both me & her on her first couple of days and her going down to 6lb from 6lb 10 birthweight. I am still feeling cross about it all and the lack of support. The midwife who came on day 3 told me to express (after lots of attempts to get her on) and since then she has been having breastmilk from the bottle. It is very difficult and time consuming but worth it in my opinion. I'm just lucky that I got to start on the pump before my milk dried up completely.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't beat yourself up, we all do the best we can do and as long as our LOs are happy so should we be!