feeling down

[samandbump]

i am feeling really crappy at the moment, none of my friends seem to have much time for me since i got pregnant, i am apparently boring because i wont go out and rave away, its the last thing i want to do, they see me as boring my best friend has near enough disowned me since i told her i was pregnant, i really hoped she would support me!! i love my baby and wouldnt change been pregnant for the world, why are some people so insensitive? has anyone else had a similar experience?

 

[Kimbo]

exactly the same as you!
ive seen my best friend of 15 years, four times since i found out i was pregnant.
we used to be inseperable, and out every weekend, but now she doesnt even text me,,, and i didnt even get a merry xmas text or anything.

when ur pregnant, you find out who your real friends are.
i'm actually shocked at how my mate has been, because she said she'd be there for me all the time, but its been about 12 weeks since i last saw her now, and before that it was 8 weeks since id seen her.

forget about them, they don't have wat you're getting in a few weeks

 

[samandbump]

thanks thats made me feel a bit better, part of me wonders if they are maybe slightly jealous? once i have had my lil man i bet they all come out of the woodwork again with presents and wanting cuddles!!!! they can sod off!!!!! thats for you kimbo.x

 

[Kimbo]

i bet they all come out of the woodwork again with presents and wanting cuddles!!!! they can sod off!!!!!

yes thats exactly what they'll do but my mate can p!ss off too

 

[Tori]

i had/have the same problem too they dont understand that u cant drop everything at the drop of a hat. Im really down cos i cant go out n about - like new yrs eve, im gunna b sat at home on ma own

 

[Kimbo]

Im really down cos i cant go out n about - like new yrs eve, im gunna b sat at home on ma own

same here

 

[happy-chick]

 

[samandbump]

i will be home new years eve aswell, at least we wont have monsterous hangovers and a empty purse to worry about!!!!

 

[jenna]

 

[Krystal]

Your not alone hun

I had same thing happen to me during pregnancy.

Unfortunate but true.. in this life friends (GOOD friends) are very hard to come by.

You may be right on the jealousy thing, I know the 'mate' I fell out with was jealous of what I had, even though she new I had tried years to concieve with an ex, unsuccessfully. She said when she found out.. 'oh right, so I'm the only one left without a kid, i'm a bit gutted' Nice eh?!

It's an emotional time anyway this pregnanct lark, try not let it get to you though, your going to have the most precious gift in the world soon and a best friend for life in them!

[edit] best friends EXCEPT when they hit their teens

 

[trixipaws]

i think i was lucky my friends still came to see me n stuff. i couldnt go out ravin with them lol but they didnt forget me.
im sorry ur not as fortunate

 

[MissSara]

i have realised who my mates are with this pregnancy, and they totally undestand me as they are all the ones who are pregnant or have lil ones themselves.
my best friend the one i used to go out with every weekend doesn't even bother to ask if i want to do anything with her and like you i didn't get a merry xmas card or even a text, i think she see's me with all our pregnant and new mum mates and she doesn't feel included anymore. Last time i spoke to her she even wanted to try for a baby, being in a totally unstable relationship i didn't no why on earth she would want to.
But i now know she is the one who feels really left out, because she feels she doesn't have anything in common with us all anymore and we are chained to the house day and night.
i'm going to talk to her soon and explain that i'm still the same mate just gunna be a bit fatter and not drink....lol.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Playing dervils advocate here, maybe they are worried that once you have the bobkin you may not have time for them? How about popping them a txt maybe suggest an outing to the pics or a shopping trip asking them to help you pick baby clothes?? If you get them involved maybe they will come around? If they still don't bother then yes, they are bratz and not worth bothering about...

I had a similar problem except im not pregnant and it was the other way round, i told a feew of my friends that i was sick of chasing them and that they need to make more effort or get out of my life for 2008, luckily they have called, txted more and been a bit more involved...

Always remember when one friend leaves the picture another is always around the corner

xx

 

[Twinkletoesnw]

My mate of 15 years did exactly the same, I didn't see her thoroughout the whole of my pregnancy. Eventually I gave birth and she promised she would come and see us....by the time she got here my licle man was 5 weeks old. Her excuse was she was skint and didn't want to come empty handed!
Mates eh!


Anyway I have a bunch of new friends now...all mums from school, I see them all most days and make me smile when i'm feeling down!

 

[poppy160]

The boot is on the other foot in my case..I've actually cut out one of my best friends since being pregnant. I used to live with this girl, and it was a real eye-opener. She was filthy..didn't know even how to flush the toilet properly and used to leave dirty dishes to grow mould on the kitchen worktops rather than wash up. She is (in my opinion) practically an alcoholic and is quite happy to sleep with 2 men in one night whilst drunk and high on cocaine and then the next day laugh that if she was pregnant she wouldn't know who the dad is. She then got fired from her childcare job for drinking during working hours. I was her friend up until I got pregnant and in the early stages..but I noticed she'd stopped asking me to go out aswell and only came up to see me when she needed to get out of the rain and wait for someone better to come along. We've moved now and I haven't told her where, and I've changed my mobile number so she can't contact me. I feel like such a bitch for doing this to her because she hasn't done anything on purpose, I just don't want somebody like that around my child. Also, she used to go out with my OHs brother and caused him grief and their family don't like her either, and I'd prefer to get on with them because it's more important in the long run.
I know it's a cliche, but these girls who aren't talking to you just because you're having a baby really aren't worth bothering with. It's times like these you see who your real friends are

 

[Squiglet]

I'm afraid to say it doesn't get easier. There have been many people I know who never seemed to understand that I just couldn't go out whenever they suggested it...or why I couldn't stay up till 6am chatting on line even though the next day was Saturday... yes a day off for someone without a kid but not for those of us with kids. And these people would be ones who have only ever known me when I have had a child.

You kinda get used to it tbh... its a shame but you will always meet people like that but then you will always meet people who are the complete opposite.

 

[Lindsay]

I know exactly what you mean. When I was pg with my son, DH and I had a large circle of friends, we went out a lot as couples and always had a really good time. When I found out that I was pg, they just stopped inviting us to go out. I remember one night they were all in the pub and I got a text off one of the girls saying that they were in the pub and were missing me I felt like texting back that I was pg not ill and that it would have been good to be invited but I didn't bother cos I didn't want to rock the boat. My son is now 19 months and they haven't been in touch at all so I know that they weren't real friends at all.

It's true what they say though, there are more friends round the corner and I now have a lovely group of friends most of who have children

Xxx

 

[samandbump]

i have decided they arent worth it, the people who matter ring to check how i am almost daily which can get quite annoying but its nice that they care, im actually quite looking forward to meeting new people at baby groups now, i deffo now know who my friends are

 

[sarah113]