Feeling detatched

[wifeywifey]

I was wondering if anyone can help I had my lo 20th march and I just feel like im on auto pilot with him, I feel really distant and like he isnt mine. I have been told its because I had such a quick labour but dont know if this is true. I feel so guilty about it as it wasnt like this with my 1st and I dont know what to do. I love him and look after him. I dont even know if that makes sense. Anyone felt this way?

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[Hunnie]

I felt exactly the same way because of my c section. I've only just started feeling like a mummy.

 

[wifeywifey]

Thanks, I feel so embaressed by it that even my oh doesnt know, its so difficult to explain without sounding like I dont care. Just good to know it gets better and im not the only one.

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[Samsgirl]

I'm the same cos of my traumatic birth and then her being in special care. How old is lo? Xx

 

[Samsgirl]

Ah just seen birth date. Mine is six weeks old and I am getting there now. My feelings have also been affected with my own recovery. I am still very sore after a few complications. But I love her now and am starting to feel like a mummy. Xx

 

[Elliellie]

I felt a bit like this for a few days after my c section, I think the tiredness doesn't help. He's 8 weeks now though & I'm just overwhelmed with love for him & feel we've bonded well. I think it can take a bit if time sometimes.

 

[Sleepy sue]

I felt the same for a few weeks ( woe that's the first time I've admitted that) I had a quick labour and then his umbilical cord snapped so it all turned a little manic, do I never got the ideal first hold etc
I'm getting there now and I only have to look at him to know I love him and would gladly die to save him!
What helped me was when I was alone and talking to him I would say out loud that mummy is here and refer to myself as mummy, slowly it sank in
Don't worry Hun you'll get there x x

 

[leannesxb]

I have been feeling this way I admitted to the Oh the other day that it felt like we were babysitting for someone. I have put it down to the c-section and AJ being in special care. I never held him till 14hours after he was born and never had any skin to skin contact till he came home.

 

[wifeywifey]

Thanks everyone I feel better already knowing im not the only one. Doesnt help my 1 year old is ill so needing lots of extra cuddles etc and by time he is in bed im exhausted and want to sleep. No one warns you about feeling like this and your always given the impression there is that instant bond and its so hard to admit how you feel especially to people you know.

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[Samsgirl]

I felt the same for a few weeks ( woe that's the first time I've admitted that) I had a quick labour and then his umbilical cord snapped so it all turned a little manic, do I never got the ideal first hold etc
I'm getting there now and I only have to look at him to know I love him and would gladly die to save him!
What helped me was when I was alone and talking to him I would say out loud that mummy is here and refer to myself as mummy, slowly it sank in
Don't worry Hun you'll get there x x

this is what i do.....

it took me a few weeks to say outloud what my thoughts were too......i feel so cheated out of the 'best experience of my life' cos it was the worst at the moment...

but now she is so cute and i do love her to bits...but i honestly can say that i dont think delivering her was the most amazing thing ever....i dont want to ever think about it..im just going to enjoy her now and mpve on from it all..

xx

 

[Samsgirl]

I have been feeling this way I admitted to the Oh the other day that it felt like we were babysitting for someone. I have put it down to the c-section and AJ being in special care. I never held him till 14hours after he was born and never had any skin to skin contact till he came home.

yep..sounds familiar...it does get easier hon. I never saw her for over 24 hours after birth and didnt really hold her properly til we got home either...i was too weak and sore to get up and down to care for her when she was in spceial care...so hubby had to do it all. he bonded much quicker x

 

[Samsgirl]

Thanks everyone I feel better already knowing im not the only one. Doesnt help my 1 year old is ill so needing lots of extra cuddles etc and by time he is in bed im exhausted and want to sleep. No one warns you about feeling like this and your always given the impression there is that instant bond and its so hard to admit how you feel especially to people you know.

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yep...i think a lot more people dont get the instant rush of love or bond, but are frightened to admit it..

doesnt mean we dont love our babies any less...just takes a little longer...

we all knew our bumps and loved our bumps. we knew when they moved, how they moved, how it felt...but none of us knew these babies that suddenly appeared...

but you do get to know them.....xx

 

[wifeywifey]

Thanks again. My labour to be honest was so easy especially compared to my first, I was 45 min from getting to the hospital to holding my lo and 15 min of that was getting to birthing unit and in my room etc, I was back on my feet straight after and ready to go home, my first wasnt as quick and I had episiotomy as he was back to back and 2 nights no sleep but I felt so much closer to him if I was to do it again id take the longer labour than feeling like I do.

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[Samsgirl]

i had an awful labour....very traumatised by it....its def affected me and how i have bonded....

still suffering now which doesnt help cos i cant get on the floor with her and play with her as i would like

 

[tinks77]

I was totally the same, because I was drugged up so I could sleep in labour before pushing it was abit of a shocker when they got me to push for 15 mins, handed me a baby then whipped her away to scbu. I kept expecting her really mummy to come and collect her every day

 

[positivity :)]

Very interesting thread! I had a bit of a traumatic birth, only just over an hour but I was rushed away from LO and straight into surgery. I felt like u ladies did too, no automatic feeling of how much I loved him but knew deep
Down I did. It's very difficult because u feel So ashamed and guilty about it. It took me a few weeks but I cam honestly say it passed and he is my everything and I could burst into tears thinking about hoW much I love him!! Xx