Feel like it will never happen

[liz85]

As another failed month approaches I'm starting to feel like it will never happen for us. Spotting again so I know I'm out. How does everyone try to stay positive? Feel like hitting my head against a brick wall.iv complained about spotting all the time to so many doctors no one thinks it's anything to worry about

 

[xMillie]

What cd are you?
I sometimes get spotting a few days before, I think it's fairly normal

and It's hard I know, have you been trying long? and doctors done any tests?

Hoping it happens for you soon xx

 

[liz85]

Thanks Millie me too. I'll be going on to month 20 probably more as some months I gave up trying. Had all my bloods checked and swabs sent. All clear and normal x

 

[Sunflower1]

I feel the same. Every month it doesn't happen I try to problem solve how to be healthier, eat better etc so we have a better chance. Getting practical is the only way I manage to keep going.

How long do you spot for..it's normal to have a bit at the start. I used to have it for weeks when I was overweight as my hormones were off.

 

[liz85]

It will start about 5 days before af. I'm the same as you sunflower I try to think of ways to be healthier to give us a better chance. Feel like I'm running out of options. Hope it happens for you soon x

 

[Sunflower1]

Can you get a referral to a fertility doctor or gynaeocologist? I know how you feel...it's really hard. I hope it happens for you too! x

 

[liz85]

I'm waiting on a laprascopy to check everything is ok. But Iv been waiting ages for it. Feels like everyone around me is getting pregnant. Hope we both get out happy news soon x

 

[xMillie]

It does always feel that way doesn't it
I've lost count of the people on Facebook that I've had to unfollow so their baby/pregnancy related posts don't show up for me
I do try use it less anyway but the amount of newborns and announcements ugh!
Not fair is it

The hospital appointments for tests always came through really slowly for me but when the booking letter came through I usually didn't have to wait to long for the appointment

 

[liz85]

It's hard to hear baby news announcement on Facebook. Just feels like everyone is getting pregnant. Hope we get the news we want next x

 

[Katie Mc]

I have had 3 people at work in the past month announce that they are expecting and my sister in law has just got pregnant with her second without even trying so I know exactly where you are coming from! I think I might come off Facebook for a while so I don't have to see all the updates!
I know it is upsetting when you see these announcements but when we all eventually get our turn I'm sure we'll be shouting it from the roof tops! Hopefully we will all be up there shouting soon!

 

[liz85]

Facebook can be very upsetting at times. It's hard to explain how it feels to people that don't understand what we are going through. I try to keep thinking about when I will see a positive test. Haven't experienced one yet. Hope you get good news very soon Katie x

 

[Alexis2017]

Feeling the same. I wish I could remember what It felt like not to be wishing I was pregnant every second of every day. I am trying to accept it won't ever happen but each month I let myself have some hope and then I fall twice as hard. I have tried everything...opks temp charting..apps...then stopping charting...Ive been taking every supplements Ive read helps. I drink nettle tea. Ive cut way down on coffee amd we have tried dtd every day...every 2nd day...we have tried preseed....had bloods done...sperm analysis. Surely it would happen by 8th month trying if there was nothing wrong ? I am sonready to give up....Its making me an emotional riot

 

[Sunflower1]

Alexis, the average for a healthy couple is 6 months which means it can take much longer for many couples and that is totally normal. It's crazy as we are given the impression that pregnancy is easy and fast...but it's not for everyone. 8 months may feel like forever but it's not that long when it comes to getting pregnant...if all your tests are good it should happen. Fingers crossed for you! x

 

[millielaura]

Feeling the same. I wish I could remember what It felt like not to be wishing I was pregnant every second of every day. I am trying to accept it won't ever happen but each month I let myself have some hope and then I fall twice as hard. I have tried everything...opks temp charting..apps...then stopping charting...Ive been taking every supplements Ive read helps. I drink nettle tea. Ive cut way down on coffee amd we have tried dtd every day...every 2nd day...we have tried preseed....had bloods done...sperm analysis. Surely it would happen by 8th month trying if there was nothing wrong ? I am sonready to give up....Its making me an emotional riot

Hugs Alexis! I hope it happens soon for you. Have your bloods been ok?
It took us 3 years from starting ttc to my daughter born and I must say I did find it just as hard that first year as I found it the following years.
I found after 6 months trying really really hard because it's at that point the reality sets in that it may not be easy. So I don't blame you at all for struggling. I was 20 when i started ttc though so I'd read up on it and just know something was up (I have pcos) since I was so young it was meant to happen fast! Then I had problems keeping them so crap
I do know a lot of people though who got pregnant months 6-12 with no assistance at all and no problems in pregnancy so it honestly can happen for you soon xxx

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[MoominGirl]

Alexis - if I remember correctly I hit a massive emotional wall around 6 months of 'officially' trying. It probably didn't help that a colleague announced she was pregnant around the same time but either way I really felt like I was at the point of breakdown. My poor husband really didn't know what to do with me as I'm normally the calm and level headed sort and I couldn't really tell him what to do to help me either!!

All through our teens we are wired to believe that pregnancy is the worst possible outcome of sex and put so much effort into avoiding it that when we decide it's the right time, we just expect it to happen and we're not programmed to deal with it when it doesn't!!

Unfortunately we are still trying and failing miserably but I know for me I am coping so much better knowing that we are getting investigations and questions answered even if there have been a lot of bumps on the way for us. I've also started having reflexology and acupuncture. Although I know they may not help us conceive, just having some time set aside just for me is helpful and also gives me somewhere I can let off steam since I'm paying for the privilege of having someone listen to my crap at the same time haha! It also means that I don't feel like I'm wearing my husband down all the time.

At the end of the day, I knew I couldn't carry on the way I was. It just wasn't sustainable. Hopefully this helps. Good luck.

 

[millielaura]

Alexis - if I remember correctly I hit a massive emotional wall around 6 months of 'officially' trying. It probably didn't help that a colleague announced she was pregnant around the same time but either way I really felt like I was at the point of breakdown. My poor husband really didn't know what to do with me as I'm normally the calm and level headed sort and I couldn't really tell him what to do to help me either!!

All through our teens we are wired to believe that pregnancy is the worst possible outcome of sex and put so much effort into avoiding it that when we decide it's the right time, we just expect it to happen and we're not programmed to deal with it when it doesn't!!

Unfortunately we are still trying and failing miserably but I know for me I am coping so much better knowing that we are getting investigations and questions answered even if there have been a lot of bumps on the way for us. I've also started having reflexology and acupuncture. Although I know they may not help us conceive, just having some time set aside just for me is helpful and also gives me somewhere I can let off steam since I'm paying for the privilege of having someone listen to my crap at the same time haha! It also means that I don't feel like I'm wearing my husband down all the time.

At the end of the day, I knew I couldn't carry on the way I was. It just wasn't sustainable. Hopefully this helps. Good luck.

I've just started acupuncture too. I never tried it last time! It's relaxing isnt It!xx

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[MoominGirl]

I actually really enjoy it. OH just can't get his head around the fact that I pay someone money to stick needles in me though!! I decided to give it a try with a completely open mind and I've certainly got a benefit out of it. I've only had one full cycle so far and I've already noticed a difference that couldn't possibly be a coincidence and I'm definitely in a much better place mentally. My cycles are very regular but very brown and clotty but last month it was all red and no clots (sorry if that's tmi!). I think I also read somewhere that it can be good for pcos and regulating cycles.

 

[Alexis2017]

I just feel like I know it will never happen. I just hope the gut feeling is wrong !

Yeah af ways brown at start and end then dark red clots..lots of clots. What does that mean?

 

[MoominGirl]

I think if I understand correctly the brow spotting and clots suggests stagnant blood flow from a Chinese medicine perspective. Alexis - I think I read in another post that you're a nurse? Apologies if I've got that wrong. I'm a nurse too so I really had to take a leap of faith with this as it really goes against everything I'm used to!! I wasn't expecting the changes I've seen though so I don't think it can be a coincidence. Since we seemed to be getting nowhere, I decided to give it a go with an open mind and I'm glad I did. If you'd told me a year ago that I would have been doing it, I wouldn't have believed you!!

I've tried reflexology for fertility. I enjoy the time to chill out etc but I wouldn't say I've noticed any other benefit. I now just do one session a month as a sort of me time.

 

[liz85]

That's me out for another month my attempt to stay positive is getting strained.