Fathers for Justice

[lea m]

It is a hard subject to answer really?
F4J? Yeh I like them and support them! If a father wants to see his child and the ONLY reason he hasnt been allowed is because his ex is using them as weapons then I supprt them whole heartedly!
But its hard because, for an example, my mams ex (sisters dad) never gave a crap about my sis, when my mam left, he came round to see her but didnt really see her kwim? Then he started getting violent with my mam (the reason she left in the first place) and the police told him to say away, so he decided he wanted to apply for custody of my sis JUST because it would p*ss my mam off! He didnt want her but wanted to upset my mam! (they are friends now, this was like 12 years ago or more)
And there is also, my OH's ex! She constantly uses the kids against him! All the time! You cant see them anymore, Oh they want to come see you today (we find out she wants to go somewhere) then oh they dont want to see you anymore!!
She also pulls tricks like "oh they need new school shoes" (there is 4 of them) she tells us this on a sunday! Before they are in school on the mnday knowing that there will be little chance of being able to get them etc! So then its "oh your dad didnt even get you shoes for school" etc!

 

[Krystal]

I can see where F4J are coming from. Dad's rights are swept under the carpet in this country I think. A father is just as important to a child as it's mother and the hard fact is some women do use their children as pawns. Or if the bloke cheated.. they refuse to let them see their children. Ok they may make a twat of a boyfriend/husband but that doesn't mean the are a bad parent.

Don't think anyones disputing that a child should be kept away from a voilent/abusive father but thats not what F4J is about.

Good honest men are being kept away from their own children because some women think they have a right to do it just cos they are 'mum'

 

[budge]

If my OH and I split, unless I thought her to be in danger I would NEVER stop Evie seeing John/his family- She's as much his as she is mine.

Its easy for you to say that now. You are in a happy relationship and everything is hunky dory.



You just don't know how you'd be if your relationship with your hubby was to end. It all depends on circumstances...
for example

if my husband fooked off with another woman after id pushed his 4 kids into the world and dedicated my whole life to raising them and taking care of him im NOT SURE id be so passive when it came to him getting cushy weekend custody. No way would i be happy getting the week of hard work - getting the kids ready for school and nagging them at bed time when he got the treat weekend of icecream lie ins and late nights.

If it were me leaving him however im sure id let him have the kids whenever he wanted. Coz im nice like that and of course id want the evening and weekends to spend in bed with my new partner

 

[Sophie1102]

I agree with Jade in that F4J clearly genuinely care for their kids, the proof is in the lengths they go to- and if they had something to hide they wouldn't be on top of Harriet Harmon's house in Superman costumes, IYKWIM?

Just cos they will go to any lengths doesn't mean they are necessarily good men, it just means they want to get in the media so they then look good, they may have done bad things in the past, and there must be a reason why these couples have ended up in court in the first place.

 

[budge]

I agree with Jade in that F4J clearly genuinely care for their kids, the proof is in the lengths they go to- and if they had something to hide they wouldn't be on top of Harriet Harmon's house in Superman costumes, IYKWIM?

Just cos they will go to any lengths doesn't mean they are necessarily good men, it just means they want to get in the media so they then look good, they may have done bad things in the past, and there must be a reason why these couples have ended up in court in the first place.

True. But there are also some cowish women out there who deny access to good men who have done no wrong.
Some women take off with another man and just try and erase the fact they ever had a relationship with their chidlren father .
Some men go to great lengths - spending all their money on legal fees to get a court order to see their kids. Then the woemn just ignore the court order coz hey know they can't be sent to jail etc.

However i don't have any respect for F4J -
Reason being there are more woman who are abandoned by men and you don't see them scaling the roofs of the house of parliment to demonstrate. Oh no!!! women can't take risks like that 0 they have their kids to think about......

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Oh Budge you speak sooooo much sense!!!

(Most of the time!)

 

[budge]

Oh Budge you speak sooooo much sense!!!

(Most of the time!)

can you edit 'most of the time'
then its an accurate statement

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Oh Budge you speak sooooo much sense!!!

(Most of the time!)

can you edit 'most of the time'
then its an accurate statement

Nah missus.

Perfect people are dull!

 

[Sophie1102]

I agree with Jade in that F4J clearly genuinely care for their kids, the proof is in the lengths they go to- and if they had something to hide they wouldn't be on top of Harriet Harmon's house in Superman costumes, IYKWIM?

Just cos they will go to any lengths doesn't mean they are necessarily good men, it just means they want to get in the media so they then look good, they may have done bad things in the past, and there must be a reason why these couples have ended up in court in the first place.

True. But there are also some cowish women out there who deny access to good men who have done no wrong.
Some women take off with another man and just try and erase the fact they ever had a relationship with their chidlren father .
Some men go to great lengths - spending all their money on legal fees to get a court order to see their kids. Then the woemn just ignore the court order coz hey know they can't be sent to jail etc.

However i don't have any respect for F4J -
Reason being there are more woman who are abandoned by men and you don't see them scaling the roofs of the house of parliment to demonstrate. Oh no!!! women can't take risks like that 0 they have their kids to think about......

I totally agree with you!!

 

[Squiglet]

However i don't have any respect for F4J -
Reason being there are more woman who are abandoned by men and you don't see them scaling the roofs of the house of parliment to demonstrate. Oh no!!! women can't take risks like that 0 they have their kids to think about......

thats so true... what I was trying to say earlier...

 

[abcd1234]

Before i got pregnany i was all for fathers rights and i kinda still am, if someone wants to be a father to their child and are "fit" to do so then they shouldnt be stopped. But then it makes me think that if they are fit surely if they went to court they'd see that

Since baby daddy the rights of fathers has become a bit of a touchy subject to me, if i found out my dad wasnt my dad i wouldnt care, he's the one who'd been there since i was born and thats all that counts.

Baby daddy is an extreme case of a twat father, but when Tally turns up i dont intend to put him on the birth certificate, and will not allow him to be around her alone, and tbh i dont think he'll be too fussed about it all.

I told him 5 weeks ago to sort his life out or i'd make sure he couldnt see her, all i want is evidence he's cutting down his drinking, not using drugs, and not stealing. I havnt heard from him since i told him this, and i've heard he's been sacked from his job.

I know a lot of people will probably slate me for it but i probably will make it hard for him to see her, but only because i want evidence he truely wants to see her and cares about her. However i wont be asking for maintenance off him and i will allow his parents to see her and if she asks she'll always know he's her father. TBH i hope he continues to stay away, Tally is better off with me and has a father figure in Dave, she doesnt need a drunk who every now and then likes to point out it was my choice to keep her he wanted rid!

 

[Jade&Evie]

If my OH and I split, unless I thought her to be in danger I would NEVER stop Evie seeing John/his family- She's as much his as she is mine.

Its easy for you to say that now. You are in a happy relationship and everything is hunky dory.

It's not at all, and although we might not be meant for each other he's Evie's Daddy which is something completely different.

I don't think I could say I loved my daughter if the only reason I denied her a father was because I was jealous of their relationship. That's what it boils down to. Although John may not love me, he'll always love Evie. Some women just pick up stick and start new families with a new daddy- I don't know how they can do that