Family reactions!

[JoanneG79]

Ok, so just had a text from the MIL apologising for her behaviour this wk end. She said that after my MC 3 years ago, she was assuming that we would be getting married before having a family. She didn't expect us "do it the wrong way round" and have a family before a wedding.

I don't know what to say to that, she is apologising and I can understand her shock, but to actually text me saying we are doing things the wrong way round?! I am hoping she hasn't sent this text to the OH, he would be devastated!

What do I do?! HELP!

 

[Baby Bean]

Oh no, what a tricky situation. And don't worry. You aren't coming across as a bitch. there's clearly a lot of background and here is exactly where you should be ranting. Ummm not sure what to suggest. I guess its good she's apologised. I guess what you need to ask yourself is if you can handle not telling your oh and if so,.how he would react if he found out you'd not told him about.the text down the line. Good luck!

 

[Pumpkin9]

Im not even worrying about the diabeties.
I asked the doc during my sccan an he said the baby has as much chance of having diabeties as ne other child. There chances don't go up.

That's good to know, I didn't know that

 

[Pumpkin9]

Ok, so just had a text from the MIL apologising for her behaviour this wk end. She said that after my MC 3 years ago, she was assuming that we would be getting married before having a family. She didn't expect us "do it the wrong way round" and have a family before a wedding.

I don't know what to say to that, she is apologising and I can understand her shock, but to actually text me saying we are doing things the wrong way round?! I am hoping she hasn't sent this text to the OH, he would be devastated!

What do I do?! HELP!

It's funny opinions that people have. I think the best thing is to carry in as normal, she's apologised, admittedly with abit of a bombshell. The last thing you need is extra stress so I'd try and go with the flow as she's made a bit of a white flag move. These situations are so tricky, I'd normally be first to wade in but that's got me into a lot of bother before so I don't do that now. Perhaps don't tell your oh exactly all the detail either

 

[JoanneG79]

Thankfully, she didn't send the same text to the OH, and I am certainly not telling him about it! Will take the situation as a white flag and hopefully move on to the excited about being a Granny stage..... we shall see.

Thanks everyone for putting up with my rants. Better to get it all out over a keyboard than at my OH or MIL though!

 

[redbear]

No your not coming across like a bitch but i know when i dont like someone im not good at hiding it but obviously other people can lol. There is no need for you oh to be upset because she see's marriage then kids as the right thing to do as when she had kids it was a big deal, its not now but still she can have her view and it doesnt have to change yours, you made your disision together and are happy with it so you just tell her you dont like in the 50's. Its a personal choice although i dont think marrage is as serious as having kids because divorce is a couple hundred quid but you cant just walk away when a child is involved. She will come around as she gets over it! God all my Aunties and My mum and my mil included had shotgun weddings bump in tow so they wouldnt have said anything, although we where married first it wasnt because it was the right way around. xx

 

[JoanneG79]

No your not coming across like a bitch but i know when i dont like someone im not good at hiding it but obviously other people can lol. There is no need for you oh to be upset because she see's marriage then kids as the right thing to do as when she had kids it was a big deal, its not now but still she can have her view and it doesnt have to change yours, you made your disision together and are happy with it so you just tell her you dont like in the 50's. Its a personal choice although i dont think marrage is as serious as having kids because divorce is a couple hundred quid but you cant just walk away when a child is involved. She will come around as she gets over it! God all my Aunties and My mum and my mil included had shotgun weddings bump in tow so they wouldnt have said anything, although we where married first it wasnt because it was the right way around. xx

Morning! I think she wants us to get married but I really don't want to get married just because I am pregnant. A few of my friends have done it, they are now divorced single parents - don't know if I could cope with that! We will get married eventually but we felt that getting pregnant could be more difficult than planning a wedding. Plus I kind of like the idea of having our baby/toddler/child (depending on when we get round to it!) being involved in our wedding.

Either that or we elope to Gretna Green....!

 

[redbear]

Ive always said I wouldnt get married with bump, before for us but I did have visions of a big old fashioned ribboned pram going down the isle lol, but its not important it doesnt change how u are as a couple or parents. I deffo woudnt do it just cos she said so, unless u get her to pay and do it abroad and get a holiday out of it lol xx

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