ex father-to-be

[johnson1994]

thank you sarah, we to have several happy memories makes us cry more than the pain of losing her to. and it is you do have that small feeling whether the baby is a girl or boy but sadly we didnt get as far as the first scan. we could have prepared ourselves abit better before trying for a little one and her being epileptic she has to be taking medications to control her fits, im not sure which medication she is on cause there is several and each has different effects on the unborn baby some only has minor effects whereas others have a more serious effect. we really should have seen the doctor and spoken to him about changing her onto something that is gonna be best for both her and the baby.
we just felt abit nervous about seeing doctor, we did end up getting her booked to see her doctor for a check up cause she was having abit of a discharge she was worried about, we knew it was nothing serious but we hope if he was to check he might find out she's pregnant and offer the help rather than asking. but life was unfair to us and took her away from us before we even had the chance to care for her properly. it wasnt like we was mistreating her, we was looking after her quite well (she only had the one or two off days where she was invited to a park and had some kind of alcohol thrown down her neck, made our little girl go quiet for days must have been a massive hangover for her) we do not smoke or drink, however she does live with two heavy smokers.

 

[k8_005]

firstly im very sorry to you both for your loss men expierinace great greif as much as women and i htink some people forget that. thinking of you i wrote a long reply at first then when i re read i thought it didnt convey what i meant very well, give yourself time to grieve, we have planted a rose bush in memory of our lost one and have kept the scan picture, but dont let it stop you moving on when the time is right for YOU BOTH. i think sums up better what i wanted to say. thinking of you both big hugs and please dont blame yourselves it happens to so many people and its a tradgedy every time especially when its to such lovely people who love their baby already.x

 

[johnson1994]

thank you k8_005, we are having a special day for her. we are going out to a special spot that ment alot to us, here we are lighting a candle in her memory aswel as hanging a letter we have written in the tree we used to sit by. we are planning to do this every year.

 

[johnson1994]

well.... just when i though things where slowly getting better, all hell breaks lose
we are now just agruing, we are at each others throats it scary. this was the thing i was dreading, i just knew something like this would heppen. ive just no idea what to say or do all i keep doing is agruing back.

 

[sarah1]

Hey sorry to hear you're having such a bad time of it. Unfortunately, everyone has different ways of dealing with this. You are both so angry and its no surprise that sometimes, whether you mean to or not, you take that anger out on each other. When I lost my baby I was so so angry at myself and it was difficult for my husband seeing me like that - its easy to bottle it up and for it to come out as an argument. You might not feel like it, but talk about your baby, talk about how you feel and talk about your future together. She might seem like she is pushing you away, but she really needs you x

 

[johnson1994]

everything ok again. we are getting on alot better now we have let her pass on, we can now work towards getting things back on track and hopefully start to feel ready to try and bring her back into the world
thank you all for the help x