Everyone keeps saying....

that I've "ruined my life", that "I'm off my head to be having a baby when I have spearated from its dad]". I know my situation's not ideal, but what do these people expect me to do about it? Send the baby back? No, they expect me to get back with the baby's dad - regardless of how intolerable things are between us - just so that they don't feel "uncomfortable" at the thought of me, a pregnant woman, on her own (with, shock, horror!!! 2 kids to ANOTHER dad).

The only thing I'm "guilty" of is being strong eough to come out of a relationship when it's clearly not working, or should that be: not spotting that it wasn't going to work out before I conceived on all occasions

Ach, perhaps the doubters are right, that I am an idiot, but I won't let them make me regret having my baby because it's very much wanted.

Have any of you experienced this kind of comment?

 

[smurf]

Hun don't mind them just ignore them they're jst being narrow minded, You did the right thing if a relationship is wrong its wrong there's very little you can do about it but you can take good from it and you've done just that with your little bean. Best of luck hun I am sure you'll be fine.

 

[weenik]

No one has said it to my face, but I'm sure there have been some snidey comments made! I've thought about it sometimes too, but I know that I've made the right decision and for the baby's sake I'm sticking by it. Don't you worry about what anyone else says - in an ideal world things would be different but we need to do the best we can and I'm sure our babies will be loved very much xx

 

[xjdx]

It doesnt matter what other people think, ive just split from my bf, he was 10 yrs older than me, i know most ppl think teenage mum on her own n all that crap. I dont care i pride myself on being a great mum to my son! Your obviously a great mum and ppl cant stay in relationships if their not right, u need to get on with life!
Good luck

 

Yes, thanks girls, I was just having a moan because it was getting to me (probably more on my baby's behalf - I was feeling indignant on his/her behalf that people are saying s/he has ruined my life).

I've now split with my partner for more than 2 months and I'm really starting to love being on my own The kids prefer it too. The house is so much more peaceful. I feel like I have the freedom to do what I want (well, I only have my older 2 children monolpolising my PC and the TV)

I am due to take the kids on holiday next week and that's going to be a challenge - I've never taken them away on my own on holiday before (or been on my own as the only adult). By my last scan, I'm now 24 weeks' pregnant - is that nearly 6 months? I'm getting more tired too. Luckily, it's a UK break this time. I just hope that we get good weather and that we can just spend our days on the beach or in the pool and I can just relax

I hope you're all enjoying the single life too

 

[Squiglet]

Maybe you were silly..Going out with a man who would treat you badly...but you definately would be ruining your life going back with him !!!!

Having kids doesn't ruin your life...Having my baby saved my life...Yes I wish I had never have had her with the man I did. I wish I had left him when I was pregnant and that my daughter never knew him...but we all make mistakes.

When I finally left him, I remember loving being on my own...the house being peaceful and my daughter being so much happier with a happy mummy.

Other people are just jealous. They know how difficult it is to raise a child alone, let alone three...yet they don't have the strength that you have and that is what makes them jealous. You keep doing what you are doing...because as long as your babies are healthy, fed, loved and happy, it doesn't matter if there is a man around.

 

[sophie-jordan]

hi hun, u r definatly not on your own, ive had the same comments said 2 me many times through out this pregnancy. people think im stupid, inconsiderate, not going 2 be able 2 cope at my age with 2 kids and their dad not their, u just have 2 ignore them and do whats best 4 u
all the best hun
x sophie x

 

[Elle'sMumy]

hi girls, i went through alot with my ex (i have a thread about him--"it was over years ago.. why cant he leave us alone??") i had ALOT of awful comments all the way through my pregnancy. i had his parents call me telling me im ruining his life i had so many people telling me whats right and wrong.. i wanted my baby and there was nothing anyone else could do about it even though i was only 15, she was still mine and the most precious thing in the world. people always want to tell you what they think (into detail even if its offensive and nasty), but really it has nothing to do with rude nosey people who think they have the right to comment on whats "best for you and the baby" so whatever people have to say girls, dont take any notice at the end of the day you will be happy and find Mr Right until then you just keep your head higher than those interfearing busy bodies good luck ladies MwahXX

 

[Louise1973]

Good for you!

If the relationship wasn't working then of course getting out was the right thing to do. I did the same and ended my relationship when I was just 8 weeks pregnant.... after some serious soul-searching I realised I would never be truely happy staying put and honestly believe that it would be unfair to bring a baby into an unhappy relationship.

A lot of my freinds say how brave I was - but I didn't see it that way at all. It was the only sensible choice for me. Yes - I have no doubt it will be hard, especially trying to compromise with the father - as already we have area's we disagree about & the baby isnt even here yet. But I have no regrets about my decision.

Take care all you single mums.

 

[hannahbet20]

oh god i know sort of what you mean i wasnt pregnant when me and my kids dad split but i have three kids and everones like how are you going to do it cant you work things out etc his dad even called me to have a word and made out i was splitting the family up when my ex was abusive and sometimes violent we argued all the time hows that better than being independant and happy alone with your kids well u just show em i am ive been alone for 7 months now and im loving having my kids to myself lol no they still see their dad but i get to parent them without our arguments and crappy relationship getting in the way if millions of single mums out there can do it and do it well so can u xx sorry i started a little rant there lol