ERPC booked for tomorrow - so scared

[PerfectStorm]

After having my scan yesterday and discovering that nothing has moved over the last 2 weeks, in fact the sac has remained exactly where it was, I have decided to have the ERPC and this is booked for tomorrow.

I made the decision because I can't stand to be in limbo waiting for this to happen naturally; I decided against medically managed because I've read various comments that it's meant to be more painful (and the midwife agreed) and I think that the experience of passing so much blood and tissue and being in pain will put me off wanting to try again for some time, whereas at the moment, I think I want to try again as soon as possible.

Having said that, I am now terrified of having the ERPC, not so much the general anesthetic as I've had ops before (although I will no doubt be nervous tomorrow) but that something will go wrong and I will become infertile. I know the chances are incredibly slim but I still can't help worrying and I'm feeling really scared. I know it is a straight forward op and the chances of anything going wrong are remote, but after having a MC, it's really hard to try and think positively.

 

[5Element]

I can really understand you being so scared after I had my first d&c last week but it is over so quickly and means that you can move on. One week later, though feeling kinda blue today (MANY THANKS FOR YOUR OTHER POST!!!) I know I am moving forward and this is the hormones speaking and not me!

I will be thinking of you from now on till I read something from you again!!

HUGE HUGS

 

[jojo3972]

Realy sorry for ur loss lovely it's realy is crap that we have to go through this terrible time I've had 2 erpcs both fine although I cannot say if it's left any scar tissue behind I would hope not , I did try the medical managed route with my first mc I wish I hadn't tho it was horrific experience for me and it still didn't work, just want to say hope tomoro goes aswel as these things go and big (((((hugs))))) xxxxxx

 

[kirstiii]

Hiya,
I had an ERPC yesterday afternoon, for exactly the reasons you describe. I just couldn't face the other two options and they sounded much scarier.
In the end I went in feeling much more nervous than I expected, but in hindsight I really shouldn't have been. It really was fine. I had mine at a day surgery unit, so there were people there for all sorts of things. The staff were so so lovely and understanding. The nurse held my hand, hugged me when I was crying, and was really gentle with me. After a little bit of waiting around (take a book!) they took my BP, and then the doctors came and introduced themselves (also lovely) and asked a few questions and then asked me to change into a gown. Then The nurse walked me through to the room where it was to happen, the doctors started jarring away to me while they put the anaesthetic in my hand, and the next thing I knew I was waking up talking to another lovely nurse! I really didn't notice myself beig put under if that makes sense, and just woke up feeling really peaceful, like I'd been dreaming. They then wheel you onto the ward, give you some tea and biscuits, and you stay there until you feel well enough to go. I felt fine within an hour. They also give you some painkillers to take home, I was scared about the pain but it really wasn't bad at all, like period pain really, and the bleeding is very light now. It's been less than 24hours so I still feel very sad, but relieved 'it' is over. It feels like we can think about moving on now.
Do you have someone to go with you? I took my OH and my mum in the end (OH doesn't drive, you'll need someone to take you home), it's nice to have someone to wait with you if you can.
Sorry I know I've droned on, but I just wanted to explain what happens to hopefully reassure you so I hope I have! Do feel free to send me a message if you want to ask anything. I'm so sorry you are going through this too, it's such a sad time. Also I asked the doctor if the op can make you infertile, and she said no, so try not to worry about that. Good luck xxx

 

[PerfectStorm]

Thanks for your kind replies and reassurance.

I just phoned the surgical ward to enquire about my husband waiting with me before the procedure, as the EPAU had said he would not be able to, and I managed to cry down the phone to the nurse! How embarrassing! She was lovely about it and has said that my husband can come, it's just that we would have to wait together in reception or a waiting room, rather than on ward (to do with not having mixed wards).

She has reassured me that the surgeons are experienced, Consultants specialising in Gynaecology, and that I am in safe hands. I will have chance to speak to them before the surgery. Chances of me not crying when speaking to the surgeons?! Not great! I wonder if I can ask them to remove my tear ducts at the same time as the ERPC as I seem to have no control over them at the moment! lol

Going to try to get some work done in the hope of taking my mind off things. I'm going to try to start feeling positive and have told my husband he needs to do the same; he is usually so calm, strong and positive, that seeing him anxious has made me worse.

 

[5Element]

Kirstiii and Perfectstorm, take time and be good to yourselves over the next few weeks. If you can and feel you need to, take time off work and be good to yourselfs (and your OH!) It is so good when it is over but dont push yourself to "get over it" just coz the operation is over - I can tell you the hormones are still alllllllll over the place! One step after another and remember there are lots of ladies who are thinking of you on here!

HUGS ALL ROUND!

 

[Vickimo]

Kirstiii and Perfectstorm, take time and be good to yourselves over the next few weeks. If you can and feel you need to, take time off work and be good to yourselfs (and your OH!) It is so good when it is over but dont push yourself to "get over it" just coz the operation is over - I can tell you the hormones are still alllllllll over the place! One step after another and remember there are lots of ladies who are thinking of you on here!

HUGS ALL ROUND!

I totally agree with what you're saying. After my D&C I felt such relief that it was all over that I felt a bit guilty. After a couple of days I started to feel down again, grieving the pregnancy that I won't have. I totally believe that the hormones play a huge part. I posted elsewhere that my HPTs are so light now and that's coincided with me starting to feel like my old self again. There will still be tough times I'm sure but I feel like me now.

As far as the Op goes, mine was absolutely fine. I cried a lot (hormones again) but it wasn't through fear of the Op just the sadness of the situation. I had one last bubble after I woke up from the op and as I got wheeled back to my room but then the relief hit and you knew that the waiting and the feeling of being in limbo was over.

Best of luck tomorrow and as Kirstii says take a book! I was in from 8 to half 6 so it was a long day. I think that everyone recovers differently but I had no bleeding (other than when I stood up for the first time after the op) and no pain. xxx

 

[darcy3]

Hello, I had the same procedure last night. It was completely straight forward with some tummy cramping after but no worse than a bad period really. I was home and tucked up in bed an hour later. Today I'm a bit tearful and tired but so glad I made the decision to go ahead with it as I was showing signs of infection from not passing the baby. Good luck, I'll be thinking of you xxx

 

[PerfectStorm]

Thanks so much everyone.

Your reassuring messages have helped me to feel a lot calmer about the procedure. I know having it done is the right decision for me and my husband and at least by tomorrow evening, the physical side of it will be over (apart from some bleeding) and we can concentrate on our emotions. I believe that not having the physical side of it hanging over us, and actually being able to get out and about and do the things we enjoy, will help to heal us both, although I'm sure it will still take time.

I will let you know how I get on.

Thanks again ladies xx

 

[alibaby]

Hi,
I had an ERPC 2 weeks ago and it went absolutely fine. I don't think I have anything else to add that the other girls haven't mantioned but just wanted to say that I hope you get on ok.
x

 

[Katkin72]

Hi PerfectStorm - only just seen this thread. I hope it all goes smoothly today and is over with quickly so you can be back home again recovering. I know how scary and emotional it is, having been through the same thing recently. It does get easier I promise - I still have bad days when I am very emotional, but I am also now able to look forward and try to remain positive that I will get a sticky BFP next time. Sending love and hugs xxx

 

[darcy3]

Hope today went as well as possible for you. Take it easy for a couple of days and all will be well xx

 

[Becky1]

Hope your erpc went ok today hun. Take it easy for the next few days. I had mine 5 weeks ago and over did it the first few days after as I physically felt fine and didn't want to sit around. I paid for it with heavy bleeding and cramps - I since read this can happen often if you do too much. Sending you lots of hugs xx

 

[PerfectStorm]

Hi Ladies

Thanks for your messages.

I had the ERPC yesterday and was a wreck before the procedure. I was so anxious and emotional and managed to cry on everyone I came into contact with! No one was safe, but all the staff were really lovely. I'm rather embarrassed now to think how much I cried and how scared I was! lol. It was definitely the circumstances of the procedure which was causing me to be so emotional, because I've had two general anesthetics in the past and although I was anxious on those occasions, I wasn't tearful.

When I came round from the anesthetic, I had some discomfort - not cramps but just aching. This went away after about an hour and it hasn't returned (fingers crossed it won't). I only have very light bleeding. I felt such a sense of relief once I'd come round, that physically it was all over, although also felt sad that my pregnancy, however short lived, really is all over now, even though I knew it was over 2 weeks ago when I had that first scan.

I was very groggy and tired yesterday evening and still feel pretty tired this morning, although apart from that I feel fine. Going to make sure I don't get complacent though and do too much as I know I need to take it easy for a few days.

I'm now looking forward to, although am a little apprehensive about, being able to start TTC again. Going to try not to be too obsessive about it, and just try to relax and have fun. Will wait until I have my first period though as that will give me a bit more time to come to terms with things emotionally, to fully recover physically and to make sure any future pregnancy can be properly dated. I was able to be certain about the dates this time and that was important to me.

Thanks again for your messages and support

xx

 

[Katkin72]

Hi PerfectStorm, I'm glad it all went well yesterday - reading about your experience brings it all back to me. It could have been me writing it. I was terrified building up to the procedure and very emotional! I cried every time someone spoke to me and when they took me down for the surgery I was left lying in my bed for what seemed like ages before I went through. I had to be comforted by a nurse who brought me a box of tissues as I was so scared and verging on hysteria
Give yourself plenty of time to recover physically and emotionally. I only had slight bleeding too for about 10 days post surgery and the cramps went after a couple of days. sending you lots of love and hugs xxxxx

 

[5Element]

Hi PerfectStorm!

So good to see you back on here again and I am glad it went well. I wouldnt worry about crying so much - it can only do you good to cry, just imagine all that bottling up inside, it is going to come out at some point!!

Make sure you take it easy and you will be back on your feet soon.

Have a chunk of chockie on me!

BIG HUGS AND PLENTY OF REST! XXX

 

[Becky1]

Glad it went well hun. I was far from crying when I came round from the aesthetic, i was jabbering on like an idiot and felt drunk!! Think that helped me through it

Chocolate is the way forward, my friend bought 2 huge bars round that didnt last long

 

[MrsHope]

Sorry to hear your news. It's awful. I had the same procedure in July and just got my BFP. Good luck with TTC I'm sure everything will turn fine. Love and hugs xxx
Ps I cried constantly and bled for 3 weeks but AF went back to normal straight away

 

[JJ Mum]

Hi Perfectstorm, sorry only just seen your post today, but really glad it went well yesterday, I had a eprc and they really are good, and like you say help you move on from the limbo - hope your now on the emotional road to recovery and ttc now X