Dreading this Christmas

[Baileysmummy]

sorry to put a downer post in what should be a happy forum, but as title says, I dont want this christmas to come round, Not at all, I should have my youngest baby who would be 17 n half months old here with us, but hes not, instead I have to look at buying him wooden toys to put on his grave , Im trying to make his garden look all christmasy as I know hes looking down on us, but its just not the same is it, They say the first of everythig is the hardest.. I'll let you know after what we did if anything
Im planning on spending most of Christmas day at Baileys garden, I know I have the other 2 to think about as well, But it will be so hard to look at them enjoying themselves when I will be hurting so much inside

 

[Bee]

 

[keli]

xxxx

 

[Sammystar]

you will be strong and you will give your little boys the best Christmas ever. I can't imagine how it must be for you, but I know you will get through it, because you are a strong lady.

lean on your family, take comfort from them, cry when you need to........

 

[skairdykat]

 

[nazmomi]

This must be so hard for you

 

[bonny]

My heart ache's for you.

 

[Baileysmummy]

Aww Thanks for all the hugs

 

[Meggiewoo]

 

[jamtart]

 

[Morganuk]

Awww hun I dont know what to say as nothing will ease your pain.
Just make sure you have lits of people around you this yr.

 

[Lindsay]

Firstly let me give you some of these

I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you on Christmas day as I can relate to what you are saying about dreading it. My brother was killed in a car accident last April and I was dreading last Christmas and really didn't want it to come. I have a sister and had 2 brothers and as children we all had our places to sit and open our presents, I was dreading seeing my brother's space empty, altho it was really hard on us all, we got through it. Jacob got me through it, as I am sure your 2 beautiful children will get you through the day. The 'firsts' are always the most difficult hun

Xxx

 

[Baileysmummy]

Firstly let me give you some of these

I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you on Christmas day as I can relate to what you are saying about dreading it. My brother was killed in a car accident last April and I was dreading last Christmas and really didn't want it to come. I have a sister and had 2 brothers and as children we all had our places to sit and open our presents, I was dreading seeing my brother's space empty, altho it was really hard on us all, we got through it. Jacob got me through it, as I am sure your 2 beautiful children will get you through the day. The 'firsts' are always the most difficult hun

Xxx

Im sorry for your loss hun,
Thats what Im dreadfing the most, seeing where Bailey was sat last year empty..
Then his highchair, still not moved it, empty, Seeing his garden all trimmed up ready, when he should be here
I just hope I can keep it together for my other 2 children's sake, what good will i be if i crumble on to them a very exciting day!

 

[trixipaws]

oh fiona, i cant even begin to imagine how u must be feeling. i am so sorry i wish there was anything i could say to help u feel better. u a strong person tho and been thru so much. im sure bailey would want u to try to enjoy christmas as best u can with his brothers and his daddy- still be thinking of him and missing him every minute but still trying to be as happy as u can be in your circumstances. he wouldnt want to see his mummy in bits. he would want to see his mummy smiling and enjoying her christmas, and remembering her fond memories of when he was with her last christmas and thinking of him lots. and the toys on his grave are a lovely thought. HUGEEEEEEEEEEEE hugs

x x x

 

[sarah113]

 

[Serendipity_]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my sister died aged 12 when I was 6 and my parents have always been strong for us, but the look in their eyes, never the same. Be strong, your boys need you. xxx

 

[babyblonde]

I can't imagine what you've been through this year - the pain must be unbearable and I am in tears just thinking of you and your lovely family and the hard time ahead.

Christmas will be hard, but those little boys of yours will, I am certain, be a pillar of strength for you.

I love your idea of a garden for Bailey.

Sending you all great big hugs and thinking of you

 

[Tina & Gabs]

 

[emeraldsroses]

Hey, don't worry about posting your sadness. That is what this part of the forum is for. It's natural to feel the way you do, especially with the holidays coming up. I hope you find strength in the love of your family to pull you through the holiday season

P.S. I've got mixed emotions about Christmas this year with the recent BFP coupled with the loss of our son just two days after Christmas last year.

 

[tracey 2]

it will be hard hun i know

bailey will be watching over you all this christmas and i know he will love how you decorate his garden for him
he will be telling all his angel friends what a wonderful mummy he has for making it a lovely chrismas for him in spirit (hope that makes sense ok what iv written)

i couldnt not reply hun but after reading your other such sad but lovely post im bit emotional and dont have the right words just now but he will be so so proud of you hun and we are all with you all the way

you have been through so much and look at you i know its hurting you so so much i can only begin to imagaine our situations are a bit different but i really admire the way yoyu are coping with it all your an inspiration,

and dont apologise for putting a sad or low post down anytime thats what we are all here for ok however you feel let it out dont apologise and dont keep it all in get it out on here anytime you want to