Don't know what to do - husband not being honest?

[SR35]

Hi I've come on here to ask for advice about my relationship as I just don't know what to do. Over the weekend I accidentally saw a message on my husband's work email from a young woman. Whilst the content wasn't particularly flirty (apart from calling him cheeky and putting 4 kisses at the end) I felt a bit uneasy about it and so I looked on Facebook and it seems they're friends. I decided to ask him about her and was told it's someone he knew years ago and she lives abroad now. I asked if they are ever in contact and he said yes (as it was obvious I knew anyway!) I asked how long they've been messaging each other and he said a couple of months. I thought it strange that he has never mentioned this person before and asked to see the messages. He refused and said they had all been deleted including the ones he had sent her. I then asked if he also deletes all the messages he sends me from work and he said yes. Again I asked him to show me that was the case and then he got annoyed and said he'd had enough and it's one thing after another with me. I admit since having our daughter 15 months ago I really struggled at first and we haven't been getting on well lately. I keep asking him about these messages but he refuses to say any more about it and that it's innocent. He said he would show me next time he gets a message from her but I'm just still not happy about it and think there's more to it but he won't say. Does this sound like I'm being paranoid or would anyone else be suspicious? Thanks for reading xxx

 

[may_lin_tewin]

Hi SR35

Anyone will be suspicious too because this topic is very sensitive for all females.... But darling dont be sad or angry about it, cant command much as i do not know what happen behind those doors.... But one thing is for sure : You are the main wife irregardless whatever happens in the future , u r the one who signed that paper.... Sorry if i am blunt... just some well commands for you... Cheer up!!!

 

[El1en]

Does your husband normally message women? If yes then I wouldn't worry but if it's a totally new Hong I'd want to know what's going on. My oh had a couple of female friends he would text before we got together and I never had an issue but if he suddenly started messaging someone I'd want to know the story. He's being very defensive which definitely makes me think he's hiding something. I would calmly ask again

 

[tinselcat]

Hard to say - I have a lot of friends who are male and I'm really paranoid about sending some of them messages precisely because I worry that their partners might think something's up (after 1 experience where a friend's wife gave him a continued hard time about being friends with me when I had zero romantic designs on him whatsoever).

Some girls do sign off their messages "xxx" as a matter of course, to anyone.

If the content is non-flirty then I wouldn't worry too much at this stage?