Don't know what to do about work and OH p*ssing me off!

[positivity :)]

evening girls, thank god for this forum, i dont know what i'd do without it sometimes

big fat moan thread here!!

for just under a week i've had very swollen feet, paticularly my right one which i have read a few of us are suddenly suffering with. well its very painful in the right foot and the past few days i've not been able to get my shoes on properly, i have been in work walking around in my socks (nice!) and it has become gradually worse, in fact since last week i have had a limp. so this afternoon i went to the midwife for my 36 week appt and she immediately looked at my feet and said they are very swollen and i should be signed off work

the problem is my work are really stretched at the moment and i know this sounds pathetic but i know my colleagues have arranged a leaving thing for me next week and my manager has arranged taking me for lunch on my last day next friday. also today, he told me he has asked my temporary replacement to come in next thursday for a handover. one of the team has also resigned in the past week and they are under so much pressure, i really dont want to add to it

seperately my OH is very over the top about me looking after myself so i dont want to tell him what they said as he will make me leave now. but, i kind of want him to know so that he realises i can't be on my feet too much. so just now i made dinner and he done the washing up (its his turn) and i went and got in the bath. while i was in the bath he shouts through - you didnt' wipe the table and the sides down so i shouted back, can you do it please, just got out the bath and he has left it for me to do while he is on call of duty its really pissed me off!!!! xx

 

[Princess81]

Well...... firstly
Now, work: Well it's just because you are a nice person that you are so worried about them. I'm 100% sure that they would understand. They would maybe even arrange for your hand-over person to come in early? I think you need to sit down with your boss and explain what the midwife has said and how you are feeling about it. Ultimately it's your health. Being so swollen that you are in pain and limping is NOT good and is your body's way of telling you to start slowing down. Your employers will want to keep you safe and healthy, they will not want you driving yourself into the ground for their sakes - they can make do - no matter how bad you feel you have to be your own priority.

As for o/h well - dunno what to suggest as mine's just as bad. He tells me to rest but then does FA around the house so I have to do it anyway, I reckon they think that a fairy will come in and do it all instead. I think you should tell him about it all though, hopefully he'll realise you are far more important than COD x

 

[Olive]

Ah hun. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to listen to the mw. If your work doesn't understand (says me who is scared to take a day off lol), sod them. They sound like they care about you a lot and will want the best for you and lo. I know it'll be a pain in the bum for them but these things happen and you 2 are far more important. You can still meet for your lunch and do. You could even maybe do a handover doc at home and email it on?

Re OH, I think you need to tell him chicky.

xxx

 

[vickib_1984]

for the swollen feet, and with regard to work I think they would understand hun your health is priority xxx

 

[positivity :)]

thanks jayne, that message made me cry think i'm a bit emotional today lol!

i think you are right, i need to have a chat with my boss and see what we can arrange, i just hate the thought of letting them down, they are a really great employer and have been so good to me while i've been unwell and preggers etc, its so hard

my OH generally is good around the house but sometimes can be such a twat about things, it took me less than a minute to do but that made me think even more so, why didn't he just quickly do it!! and now i'm in bed and he is on that bloody game again!! tbh though i rather him in the front room at the moment as he's been getting on my nerves

xx

 

[LoopyLouize]

Awww hun

About work.. I agree with the girls I think you should listen to your midwife! By the sounds of your work, they will be understanding and they seem to treat you really well so I am sure if they seen your ankles and you explained the pain they would understand.

About your OH.. I would slap him lol x

 

[positivity :)]

Ah hun. I know it's easier said than done, but you need to listen to the mw. If your work doesn't understand (says me who is scared to take a day off lol), sod them. They sound like they care about you a lot and will want the best for you and lo. I know it'll be a pain in the bum for them but these things happen and you 2 are far more important. You can still meet for your lunch and do. You could even maybe do a handover doc at home and email it on?

Re OH, I think you need to tell him chicky.

xxx

tut tut tut miss laura...u should be listening to your own advice missy

i think i'm gonna speak to my boss first and then tell OH, honestly he will insist i dont go back at all, he gets really funny about it

i have my day off tomorrow so i will chat to my boss on thursday or maybe even call him tomorrow xx

 

[Princess81]

i'm sure that your work know that you wouldn't want to let them down. Employers know the people that work hard and the people who take the piss. They'll know that what you are doing is for a very genuine reason. Speak to your boss in the morning - or Thursday as you are off wednesdays (brain kicks in). I bet you will feel so reassured afterwards. Is there anyting that you could do for them from home, where you can sit on your sofa with your feet up?

Me and my o/h spend hours in seperate rooms. I stay in the sitting room watching TV and he goes into his "play room" to go on the xbox. I have to go in every so often to remind him to eat Ultimately they can all be twats though can't they? God knows what they say about us

Lots of hun.

 

[positivity :)]

i'm sure that your work know that you wouldn't want to let them down. Employers know the people that work hard and the people who take the piss. They'll know that what you are doing is for a very genuine reason. Speak to your boss in the morning - or Thursday as you are off wednesdays (brain kicks in). I bet you will feel so reassured afterwards. Is there anyting that you could do for them from home, where you can sit on your sofa with your feet up?

Me and my o/h spend hours in seperate rooms. I stay in the sitting room watching TV and he goes into his "play room" to go on the xbox. I have to go in every so often to remind him to eat Ultimately they can all be twats though can't they? God knows what they say about us

Lots of hun.

yeah i'll chat to my boss and maybe say i can do some work from home instead!? good thinking batgirl!

i suppose my OH is just like most men as you say..i suppose playing COD keeps him out of trouble and gives me a bit of peace and quiet lol xxxx

 

[Olive]

Me and my o/h spend hours in seperate rooms. I stay in the sitting room watching TV and he goes into his "play room" to go on the xbox. I have to go in every so often to remind him to eat Ultimately they can all be twats though can't they? God knows what they say about us

Lots of hun.

Same!! Now his playroom is the nursery though Shame!! Although I now have a friggin keyboard in my hall, a guitar permanently in the living room, a weight bench in my wardrobe and a massive telly on my chest of drawers

Pos - Let us know how you get on. Your boss sounds fab.

xxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

COD should be banned!

All the girls on hear moan about it lol!

My OH brought the old one and never got into it, he's more of a F1 kinda guy and asks before he plays *well trained!*

Why don't you offer to go in on your last day to say goodbye to everyone ( if they can't rearrange anything?)

 

[Emmsy29]

Although id say just leave work., u sound like u wanna stay so u dont let them down. Why dont u speak to ur boss and explain that they wanna sign u off but u dont wanna and se if theres an easier job for u to do like a sit down job so u can rest ur feet. Xx

 

[redbear]

My OH is a pain in the arse about me looking after myself, when the doctor said i needed signing off early for maternity leave OH pestered me about it but i worked until i could start maternity instead of going on the sick. (Hard job lol) So i just ignored him whenever he started with the 'i've told you you shouldn't be working'
He is good with the cleaning if i call him and say im tired he says to leave it and does it after work... however the house needs finishing and getting him to do something on a weekend is a nightmare!
As for work maybe ask if you can adapt your work so you can rest your legs, or maybe go onto finishing early some days? im sure they will adapt for you!
Hope you feel better soon xx

 

[positivity :)]

thanks for your replies and support girls

i spoke to my manager today and we have agreed that i will take the rest of this week off and then go in next week and just work 10-2 each day my manager tried to insist i dont go back but i really dont want to do that so i told him its my decision and he shouldn't worry at all.

so now i have my feet up..and watching jezza kyle on itv2 - it really is enough to get me back to work on monday!!! xx

 

[pinkyprincess]

What a lovely understanding place! Are they paying you?

 

[positivity :)]

What a lovely understanding place! Are they paying you?

yeah they really are lovely. yep i'll be paid too thank god! i suppose he knows that i could be signed off anyway so we've kind of met in the middle xx

 

[Olive]

That's great news hun x

 

[1986princess]

as hard as it is do whats best for u and baby! i see call of duty is taking over ur life not just mine! x

 

[jomc]

Sounds like a good compromise hun!
As for OH, stick on COD when hes not around and wipe off the memory so he has to start the game from scratch

 

[LoopyLouize]

Aww thats fab hun

xx