dont know how im feeling

[tracey 2]

there is not meaning to this post well dont think there is but just had a really rough couple of night feeling like i wanna cry but its going back to how i used to feel that i cant cry i cant let anyone see me like this because iv gotta be strong god yeah im proud of my girls and i know they are watching over me but i thought i was starting to get though this maybe im not anywhere near i just dont know.

I broke down the other day in front of steve, i cant remember what happened but i just burst in to tears and just screamed for my girls so much and was just inconsolable nothing couple stop me so he just held me in his arms and till i stopped he couldnt say anything i think its hurting more than i realise as well, i know iv said it so many times before but why did this have to happen and why cant the pain go away and yes i do have the answers that it will get better etc but i cant see it.

We even talked the other day about trying again some point this year but not for a bit yet and he was so sweet said it wouldnt happen again and that we have more support from hospital etc but part of me never wants to try for ages even ever but other part of me wants a baby so so much,

i cant talk to anyone not even steve properly bout how im feeling but when i post on here its like its all coming out and feels good im half thinking wether to print this off and give itto steve show him how im dealing with it all, but i cant break his heart anymore than he is already hurting.

Thank you guys for reading

 

[Tracey S]

Tracey,

I know how you feel it could be me writing that post. I know exactly what you mean about trying to be strong and putting a face on for the sake of other people. Its like I am dead inside and thats why I can get through each day.

I dont cry much any more, I have cried so much this last 6 months, more than I ever have in my live before. Its got to the stage where I am now fed up of crying and dont want to do it anymore - does that make sense? My eyes are permanently sore, so bad that I have had to get cream from the doctor. My partner is struggling, he wont even talk about what happened because he says it hurts too much, but that doesnt help me.

I had a chemical pregnancy last week, I dont even feel upset about that, its been locked away with all the rest of the hurt, My brother is due a baby next week so god knows whats going to happen when it arrives.

Sorry for the ramble, but I really do know how you are feeling, Have you considered going to a sands group or having a look at their website? I have found both really helpful, and although I dont feel the need to use the site much anymore I still go to the group every month, it really helps to be able to talk to other mums who sadly we have something in common with. Just being in their company helps and the ladies who run the group are so supportive, I have had emails and calls from them to see how I am inbetween meetings.

Anyway I just wanted to post some support to you and to say that I am thinking about you, and you WILL get through this.

Stay strong

Love Tracey xx

 

[happy-chick]

I really dont know what to say as I know there is nothing that I can say that will make you feel better but I just wanted you to know that i'm thinking of you

 

[neeko_1]

oh hun i just pM'ed and saw this after.


i don't what to say.

i jst want to give you these



and many more

 

[Melly+2]

 

[jue]

Sorry I dont know what to say, but have to give you

 

[libs]

hope you've found a little more peace hun

 

[kazlin]

Sweetheart I am thinking of you xxxxx