Do you worry you're not ready to be a mother?

[Lewa]

I have this idea in my head that I won't get pregnant yet because maybe I'm not ready. I've always thought of myself as quite unselfish, but realise more and more that I am selfish, as in I'll postpone doing the dishes, will make dinner late bcause I'm playing a game or something, I sleep in more than I should instead of just getting up and getting stuff done.. I could do a lot more to make life easier for my husband (he's studying AND working, and I'm only studying, so I should do most of the houschores, which I do.. just always late, and not as well as I could have) and I can't help but think that if I can't get that stuff done now, if I can't put my husband first, how am I ever going to be able to do everything that needs to be done when I have a baby! And also.. I know that when I have a baby the baby will come first, and I'm worried that I'll kind of "forget about" my husband so to speak, that I will only look after the baby and not do enough to show my husband that I love him. Especially since I already don't do that as much as I could!

So I'm trying now to be more effective etc. and kind of hoping that will help me get my bfp It might sound silly, but it's this thought I have in the back of my head that I just can't get rid off....

Are any of you feeling in a similar way? Or have you felt like that? For those of you with children already, can you relate? How did it affect your time management and show of affection for your partner etc??

 

[Carbonel]

None of that sounds silly. I agree that you can never feel prepared, plus its scary how much it will change your life. I definitely feel ready because i'm in my thirties and married and we have a house and jobs and when will there ever be a better time? All we need now is the baby. Hurry up baby!

 

[Cazza]

Oh dear Lord yes!!!

Being an older lady too I've spent alot of time doing exactly what I (and OH occassionally!!) want when I want so the thought of that going almost terrifies me!!

But then I think of all the benefits that being a parent would bring and suddenly it's not so bad!!!

 

[LouiseB]

I try not to think about it too much, but yes it worries the bajebus out of me.

You know when you read those trashy magazines and there are stories in about poor hubby and poor kids being abandoned as the wife/mother did one and disappeared to some tropical island?

Most rational people think "omg, how could a mother do that?!" and i think "i wonder if she needed any vaccinations..."

I suffer from itchy feet (not athletes foot) and hate feeling trapped and confined.

I've jested (seriously) to my husband on a couple of occasions if he'd wait for me if i disappeared for several months - lucky for him he said yes, because it makes me feel less inclined to actually go.

I feeling panicked just thinking about it, like i can't breathe

I'm not very selfish at all though and am very maternal, so i'm sure i'll be a fantastic mother, if i hang around long enough

 

[Cazza]

Louise - your posts always make me smile or laugh, much needed today thanks hun xx

BTW - I can understand the desert island thing too!!

 

[Lewa]

Thank you girls for sharing! I haven't worried about it too much before, because I think I know deep down that I will be a good mother, I have given up a lot already to prepare for it really, and I can work my but of when I need to.. I've just got this voice in my head telling me I can't get pregnant until I've "proven myself" sort of, and it's really annoying! In a way it's good, cause I'm getting better at getting things done and such (ironed my husbands shirt sunday morning without him asking me for instance lol It's all the little things that count!)..

I've made it my mission for now to make sure that when I do get pregnant I can tell my husband and he can know that he doesn't need to worry (of course he will, but hopefully less!) because he'll know from experience that I will do what it takes to to take care of the baby, him, and the house. And I guess that's a good thing, as long as I do it as a positive thing, and not because I'm afraid it's the only way I'll get pregnant! Which is kind of what my mind has twisted it into :S

It does help to let it out here actually! I've been keeping all that inside for quite a while!