Do you mind your DH looking at...

[zebrastripes]

I don't like it on the grounds that the vast majority of porn objectifies women in a way I find distasteful. There's nothing much wrong with your typical "hey ma'am I'm here to fix your oven" sort of thing, but so much of what is nowadays seen as "normal" porn I find very degrading to women.

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

I dont like it but my OH never looks at porn and isnt interested in it so were both happy

Same here. I don't want my hubby lusting after other women, I'm the only one who floats his boat and likewise

 

[mags]

I'm shocked so many of you ladies are ok with it! I'm definitely NOT. Thankfully my husband and I don't have that problem, and I know he doesn't hide anything from me as he works from home and we are together all day and we have a very healthy sex life. An ex of mine was obsessed with porn and it humiliated me so much. I began to feel he was fantasising about THOSE women when he was sleeping with me. I'm from the old school, if you're with someone you should only have eyes for them. It's only our modern culture that's made all kinds of shit 'acceptable' and I feel very strongly that it's wrong!

 

[LisaJ1986]

I'm quite lucky that my OH isn't into any of that. He says he doesn't find mags and films sexy. They're not his thing. I don't think i could be ok with though if he was. I'm quite insecure about myself anyway. That he could have anyone he wanted as he's quite popular with the ladies. I feel fat and ugly in comparison to these Max Power models he talks to.

 

[Red_Fairy]

i was ok till i had my girls, now i am really hung up on my own body and he told me long before kids that he felt with me he didnt need porn at all. Sinse haveing the girls ive caught him twice...

and its really hurt me.

I feel like i dont do it for him now. I make an effort in the bedroom (especially sinse the last time i found out) - even watching porn together regularly - but in the last week found out he'd been at it again.
Its made me feel so unsexy. The stuff he was looking at is NOTHING like me.

Anyway, the way things are right now, is were not a 'couple' You may think im overreacting, but we have other issues too...

Hes also lied, made me feel stupid, broke promises ect.. ack.. i actually cant talk about it.

 

[Julia]

Red_Fairy,

I am so sorry to read your post....

My husband used to hide it from me and I think that was what hurt the most was catching him (it seemed so deceitful). It does put a big wall between you when you find out. We used to watch it together and that was fine but then I found out he was watching it whenever I went out which really hurt. After I had my first baby he went off sex with me but did not go off porn. After talking to loads of women about it, many of them said that their husbands also watched porn on their own. Others said that their husbands did not even like it but I know for a fact that they had recieved DVDs from the bloke in the local pub and simply hid it from their wives. I have watched some of his porn and the women and men are not even attractive - infact some of them are dreadful!! I think it is just watching the act of sex that turns men on - it is a quick fix at any time of the day without having to please a partner also (selfish, I know).

We talked and talked about it (ususally after alot of drink) and he said that he felt that there was no room for him and that my body belonged to the baby. My nipples were leaking, my stomach was wobbly and I was always changing nappies - this made me feel unsexy. Even though he tried to help out, I did not let him and completely shut him off. At the same time, I was craving sex. When I went out I always got chatted up which really kept me going. After I stopped nagging him and accepted that he liked porn, he seemed to change and started to come onto me again. Things started to improve and then I became pregnant with this bump! We have not had sex throughout the six months I have been pregnant! Back to square one I think! DH said that he would be fine again after baby is born. I know how you feel but sometimes I think I have over reacted!!

Julia xxxxxx

 

[Red_Fairy]

Red_Fairy,

I am so sorry to read your post....

My husband used to hide it from me and I think that was what hurt the most was catching him (it seemed so deceitful). It does put a big wall between you when you find out. We used to watch it together and that was fine but then I found out he was watching it whenever I went out which really hurt. After I had my first baby he went off sex with me but did not go off porn. After talking to loads of women about it, many of them said that their husbands also watched porn on their own. Others said that their husbands did not even like it but I know for a fact that they had recieved DVDs from the bloke in the local pub and simply hid it from their wives. I have watched some of his porn and the women and men are not even attractive - infact some of them are dreadful!! I think it is just watching the act of sex that turns men on - it is a quick fix at any time of the day without having to please a partner also (selfish, I know).



Julia xxxxxx

Hiya - what you say is so true.
We've sorted it now (i hope) I think it is more my own problems with my body. Plus its the time of the month so i think i did act alittle harsh.

*just bought a pvc nurses outfit off ebay* . . . . ill show him whats hot!!!
Thanks for understanding.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

DF is honest with me and told me he watches it no problem with it, as long as i dont have to watch it, it does not bother me

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies...

Red Fairy: I am glad you are feeling better - i always go over the top and then when I have really thought about realise I have over reacted!! Life is too short!!! You put that outfit on and knock the socks off him, girl!!!

Sarach&Braydon - I really like your approach to it! There are much worse things in this life to get wound up over. You obviously have a very honest husband, which is fab. I like to think that on the whole my hubby is honest but I think he just gets embarrassed about the issue and knows I am sensitive at the moment... I am going to take a leaf out of your book!

Julia xxxxx

 

[Bexie]

I'm really not into to porn in the slightest and find it really degrading. My ex was into it in a big way and I caught him on many occassion watching a video with his trousers down, I just found it so disgusting, yes I know most people masturbate, but I don't wanna catch him at it. We went for a weekend trip to Amsterdam and he convinced me to go to a show with him. I just found it so distasteful and afterwards actually felt quite degraded myself. On checking out from our hotel we were presented with the bill, after we'd gone to bed he'd get up again and turn on the porn channel. I use to find mags hidden around the house as well as videos. Anyway we've split up now and I imagine he's still spanking the monkey somewhere as they say!!

I'm really lucky now as my current partner isn't into porn in anyway which I'm really greatful for. Although last night we'd been watching the news, we were both just getting up to do the washing up and a short channel 4 programme came on with a naken woman, suddenly he was back down in his seat, with a cheeky smile on my face. Now this didn't bother me in the slightest, in fact I found it quite funny as he was like a naughty schoolboy who'd just noticed his attractive teachers blouse was see through!

Forgot to say when I split up from ex I found out he'd also been going to brothels and doing god knows what else. It wasn't like we didn't have a regular sex life, he just seemed to be attracted to that seedier side of things, eh yuck!!!!

 

[Julia]

Bexie,

Thanks for sharing your experience...my DH is not as bad as your ex (have not found mags etc). I also think a brothel would terrify him!! He does not seem to like strip clubs (although he has been to a few on stag nights - I have no problem with that) he always says how embarrassed he gets when he is there! It is just the DVDs - but I feel that I am fine with that now. We otherwise have a good marriage with fab families and friends and I don't want to throw it all away over a couple of stupid DVDs (which I have watched with him in the past).

You are lucky that your current partner has no interest in porn. Thanks for a sensible and honest post...

Julia xxxxxx

 

[Julie84]

If it keeps him happy, I'm more than willing to allow him his indulgences. Unfortunately, he's not so keen on porn and just pesters me all the time!