Do you mind your DH looking at...

[Julia]

Porn?

It is really weird....I have no problem with porn when I am not pregnant - I know that many men look at it (films, images etc)

BUT

I am just over sixth months pregnant and I am unsettled about my DH having naughty DVDs! I am sure it is due to not having any intimacy since conceiving (both of us not really wanting to due to pregnancy). I know that every time I go out, on goes the DVD player! I never minded before....

Anyone feel uneasy about it? Should I be worried?

Julia xxxx

 

[nori]

I'm quite open minded about the whole porn DVD thing but i wouldnt like the idea of my OH watching it on his own. Dont get me wrong, we dont sit there every night watching it.. infact its been months but id feel a bit funny.. thats just me though. I can see where you are coming from.

Claire x

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your reply, Claire!

Lots of my friends partners and husbands seem to watch it alone (even if they don't admit to it). I am not going to cause a huge row about it because it is not worth getting myself wound up over it. I don't want to look like I am snooping around looking for evidence either because that is just sad!

I think I will just leave him to it - what do you think? Any other advice?

Julia xx

 

[sea-fairy]

have you tried speaking to him about it?

a while ago my sex drive was non exsistent, and my hubby would openly sit and watch pporn whilst i was in the room, it got to much and I hated it, I started to feel like I wasnt doing anythin for him if that makes sense?
We are currently TTC and Im concerend that when we do become pregnant what wil he do if my SD takes a sex drive goes AWOL again,
so I have talked to him about it said that I was feeling crap and it would be nice if he paid me attention more then the porn

I dont think your being weird, I really think if you havent maybe sit down and talk to him say how you feel, find out why he feels the need to watch so much, and I know you say you are not feeling like intimacy at mo which is understandable but maybe spend some time together and just focus on yourselfs as a couple before LO is born

 

[beanie]

I have 2 young children, and a lower sex drive then myOH (who is like a teenage boy ) so porn is my best friend.

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies,

My DH will not come near me in a sexual way and he has openly admitted to is and also masturbating much more frequently (which I suppose is normal when sex is non existant). I think that the whole pregnancy process freaks him out and he feels that he is having sex only centimetres away from a baby (I am over six months pregnant). It even freaks my Dad out as he can just about look at my bare bump and he could never touch it!! I think that some men react like this, sad, I know!

We had a problem with sex when I was carrying my little girl and for months after having her... we did talk about it and eventually managed to start resolving it. This is the funny thing - as soon as things started to get much better and he was coming onto me quite a bit, I caught with my second baby!

We are also able to see the funny side to all this - he is always saying how strong his right wrist is etc... He has told me that there will not be a problem with sex after this baby is born (and he is an honest person). It is just whilst I am carrying. I spoke to my midwife about it and she says that loads of women go through the same thing!!

Julia xxxxx

 

[dannii87]

Hmmm, I'm usually absolutely fine with things like that... But I haven't been through it while pregnant though so it's a hard call (excuse the pun!!)

You are obviously both very honest and open with each other and I can well understand how a man can get turned "off" by knowing there is a baby within a few centimetres!! I haven't had sex since December as my ex left me but I don't think I could do it now! Not with looking down and seeing a baby bump! I'm suprised more men aren't like it during pregnancy to be honest!

Anyway, like you said, it was the same with your DD so I'm sure you'll be getting propositioned again in no time once baby is here xx

 

[Julia]

Thanks Dannii87,

What I have to think about is that I am going to have a wonderful little baby in my arms in 3 months and, hopefully, this is only a temporary thing!

10 months is a long time to have to adjust so many things in your life but I am getting to the final hurdle. I am a very lucky person - i have a lovely house, a lovely family, very few money worries, lots of friends - this is what I am going to focus on, rather than my sex life (or lack of it!!!)

I am sorry to hear about your ex - it must be very difficult for you (it is bad enough when not pregnant).

Thanks for your positive reply, Dannii

Julia xxxx

 

[Riot_Grrrl]

nahh no problem with it..it's porn city in my house

 

[Julia]

Porn City!!

Thanks for your comical reply - it's made me feel even better!!!!

Just going to bed on a much more positive note!!!

Thanks again for cheering me up....

Love and Porn

Julia xxxx

 

[Misslarue]

I have no problem with porn, in fact I encourage it. It's healthy for a man to express himself in that way!!
The majority of men have porn. I like a little bit of porn myself!!

 

[1sttimemum]

Nooo, let him get on with it, especially if your not in the mood for any,

The way i see it is, id rather him watch porn rather than him get his kicks elsewhere

 

[happy-chick]

It doesnt bother me at all if its us together or him on his own, i do hate it when they all leer over porn at work but i spose i cant stop that lol boys will be boys! Nah i like porn myself so dont mind him watching/looking at it either x

 

[purple13]

doesn't bother me - especially if it means i can get a good night's sleep

 

[Julia]

You are all soooooo right!!

Just the hormones AGAIN I think...

I usually have NO problem with it and we have also watched it together so i don't know why I am sudenly feeling insecure about it

You have made me feel so much better - I will put it to the back of my mind....


Julia xxxxxx

 

[maybebaby]

I have no problem with OH looking at porn, but I can completely understand why you would feel insecure in the situation you're in. Hormones are funny old things.

Maybe see if he'll let you watch it with him? Even if you don't have sex maybe you can still be intimatewith each other?

I know some men do react like this - not my OH though, he calls it 'rocking the baby to sleep'

 

[Julia]

Thanks Maybebaby,

I think I will just leave him to it.....I discovered that the last time we had a bit of a blip about sex (after I had my first baby) the more I tried, the more he did not want to!! It is frustrating because I make such an effort with clothes, make up, hair, figure and many of my friends, male and female, could not understand what the problem was with him.

When I left him alone (and I mean showed NO interest AT ALL - which nearly killed me!!) he suddenly started coming onto me and it really improved from there! I will leave the issue until after the baby is born otherwise I will come across as "desperate" and I certainly do not want that!!


Julia xxxxxx

 

[trixipaws]

i dont mind it at all. x

 

[Riot_Grrrl]

i used to watch it but find it quite boring these days.. I think id rather beat off over cars on top gear

heh mid you are such a lady

 

[~*Leanne*~]

I dont like it but my OH never looks at porn and isnt interested in it so were both happy