did you tell people?

[mum2A&L]

well i would have been off work for 3 weeks when i go back, and i know people are going to ask whats been up.

i don't know if i should just lie - say i was signed off with a bad back - or if i should tell the truth? a couple of close friends know whats happened. Is a bad back a good enough excuse to be signed off for 3 weeks

im just wondering what other people did?

 

[mum2be?]

i did tell people around me as it was eaier to do so. could not handle questions & baby talk.

but its up to you

 

[klee1988]

I would just say its personal hun and don't give them any information.

People in my work obviously knew as I had a big bump and he died at 27 weeks. I still haven't went back to work though...don't think I could face it if I'm honest.

 

[Jen79]

I had a mc at 7 weeks in January. I hadnt told work I was pg and unfortunately it happened at work so they found out. TBH I would have rather they never knew about it. Dont know why, its just that I felt it was something personal and didnt like the fact they knew and were probably wondering what to say to me etc. But thats just me, we are all different so do what you think is best. If you are feeling a bit fragile maybe it would do you good for some people at work to know? Sorry I dont have any particular advice, just wanted you to know you are not alone.

 

[DaisyRose]

Hi,

Really sorry to hear of your loss

I think you've gotta do what you're comfortable with. I wasn't working when I had mine so didn't have to deal with that but I told very few people at first - found it very painful to talk about (I have since told a lot more people now I have come to terms with what happened).

Could you speak to your doc about a sick note for work, and then you'd only have to tell your bosses??? You could just say it is women's problems - people don't usually like to ask then. It depends on how close you are to them really.


All the best

 

[mum2A&L]

ive been signed off for two weeks (im halfway through that).

i told one friend the other night that i work with, and she was lovely. I said that i don't think i can handle speaking to people about it too much yet, but i felt wrong lyeing to certain people.

i think i will tell people that i trust and that i can't lie to. Thats my problems, i don't like telling porkies to people.

 

[Becky]

I hadn't told work as I found out at my 12 week scan and I'd planned on telling them after the scan so I didn't tell anyone, not even my boss, I just told him I needed time as I was going into hospital for "women's" reasons. It was enough for him. However I wasn't off work as long as you have been.

 

[rusks]

hun so sorry for your loss just discovered this x x

 

[NickyB]

I think I was lucky that no-one asked, maybe someone had told them all to shush behind my back? I think I had decided to tell people if they asked, and I was ok talking about it, just not on the first day. My FD asked if I was ok on my first morning and I just welled up immediately, after that initial bit it was a bit easier.

Also, telling people sometimes helps, and you might be surprised what you hear. I told someone who asked why I changed my car, and they proceeded to tell me a very personal story, which was kind of nice in a weird way.

 

[mum2A&L]

ive told one of my mates at work and they where fab. i think i will tell the few people i feel bad for not telling, and fibbing to. the way gossip flys around that place i wouldn't be suprised if every one knows already

im dreading friday. ive had such a bad today i have no idea how im going to cope!


i feel so bad for trying to move on. like ive already forgotten about the potental baby. just flushed it away like a piece of crap. i know i was hardly pregnant, and it could be loads worse, but i still feel so guilty

im going to go and speak to a HV about it tomorrow.

cheers for your replies everyone! you make all this easier to handle