Depression..

[scottishlassie]

I know there was a thread about this recently, just like to say i'm really feeling it just now. I have suffered from depression for years, been on various tablets, but for the past year have been tablet free. I think its hit me today, i've had alot on my mind, and trying to balance it all and be strong has been difficult and i think it got too much for me last night and i crumbled. I'm trying to be strong, doing the "brave" face, but i feel so drained emotionally, and physically. I have been very up and down and the tablets helped stable that, but i began coping without tablets and ofcourse wanted to take that route. I'm not sure what the point of this thread is, i'm just feeling a bit alone, and hoping i'm not on a slippery slope again. x

 

[ss79]

Hey Scottishlassie, you're doing really well. You've been a whole 12 months without drugs and that is a long time. Pregnancy is gonna make you have ups and downs and make you think its coming back. Just remember you don't need the drugs, you've come this far. Speak to your Dr and learn some relaxation techniques and breathing exercises for when things get a bit much. I carry bachs rescue remedy everywhere and it is fine to take while pregnant. You'll be fine. Look forward not backwards. Xx

 

[scottishlassie]

Thanks ss, I was coping okay with the hormones, but last night was a disaster , i couldn't stop the crying, my breathing was going funny, i couldn't stop the thoughts. It was like i could feel my mind cracking. I've felt this all before . thanks hun, i think i will speak to my doctor, i'm seeing her next week, relaxation techniques could really benefit me i think. I have alot to worry and stress about at the moment, but hormones on top of this, and also my previous mental health problems are not helping xx

 

[Tracey M]

I think a lot of us have depressed days and Thats without history of depression, just hormones so I can sympathise with you honey. For sure you are not alone! We are all here for you. Call your GP or midwife for advice xx

 

[pinkymum]

Have you ever had therapy hun? I've been on lots of medication over the years but the only thing that helped was therapy. I bang on about therapy a lot lol, just because it helped me turn my life around! It defo helped me stop thoughts from snowball out of control and also has helped me how to not let my moods and thoughts control me. You could maybe ask your gp?

 

[scottishlassie]

Thankyou pinky, i've never had therapy before, i think i'm still on a massive waiting list to see a psychologist, but therapy was never mentioned. I will mention that to my GP as well next week deffo. I need some sort of coping strategy. i have lots on my plate at the moment, and i just feel like i'm losing control sometimes and not able to cope. I've been fighting back tears and bottling things up for a couple of weeks, and last night was it all coming out in a big outburst, today i feel deflated. Medication wasn't the best option, but it really helped with these feelings .

thanku hun, its difficult when its not just hormones eh, least you can sort of say its the pregnancy hormones when it is just them, but when you have so many things adding onto it it feels like your mind is just going to wave a wee white flag and give up. It's quite nice knowing i'm not alone with this feeling xx

 

[pinkymum]

Sounds like it would help just to talk to someone honey. Hope you feel a bit brighter soon


x

 

[scottishlassie]

Thanks hun, i hope so too. My gp is lovely, I'm seeing her on tuesday, so not too far away, also should hear babies heart beat for the first time, i know that will put a smile on my face xx

 

[pinkymum]

Thanks hun, i hope so too. My gp is lovely, I'm seeing her on tuesday, so not too far away, also should hear babies heart beat for the first time, i know that will put a smile on my face xx

Awww that will defo put a smile on your face and I'm glad you get on well with your GP thats half the battle I think!

Let me know how you get on!

x

 

[scottishlassie]

Will do hun. Ohh i know its taken me a long time to settle with one gp at surgery, some have been a complete nightmare, but shes helped me through so much the past few years, even if it was just sit and listen to me cry for 15 minutes!

Thanks for your help pinky, and by the way Emily - lovely name! Xx

 

[ss79]

therapy is a good suggestion, just to put your mind at rest so you know you're not alone. I had CBT a few years back, it was really good. Was told the waiting list would be about 6 months but a space came up for me within 1 month so you may be able to get it quite soon depending where you are. Good luck xx

 

[mummyloulou]

I am 17 weeks and 3 days. I was on tablets until i fell pregnant, after having bad depression and had just hit the i am just right feeling and then had to stop them very quickly, as gp was concerned about the affect of the baby;'s development. Managed ok for a while, and then a few weeks ago at work i just fell apart, didn't know whether it was hormones, or depression or both on top of each other. I went to see my gp and midwife, and although they have said it is 'safe but not ideal' to go back on tablets, i do not want to put the baby in any sort of unnecessary risk so have started counselling with CBT. the gp rushed me an appt due to being pregnant, and she has also signed me off work for 4 weeks. I have had counselling before and it really helped me, so am hoping that it helps again this time. I felt like a complete failure for having to have time off work... but i just couldn't cope i work alot as i'm a teacher, in at 7.30 back at 6 then work until i got to bed at 11 and at least one day at the weekend.... and i just couldnt concentrate to do any of it.... my boss has not been helpful and quite 'awkward' since she found out i was pregnant even when i had an accident at school which caused a scare and hospital visits with the baby in the early stages... told me i was lying. I have just got in this complete state about work.... panic attacks when i think about it or go in my study with all my work stuff there..... so nit sure what i am going to do if i still feel this way when i have to go back to work.... being like that cannot be good for the bubba. my hubby is great and so supportive, but i just feel like a rubbish person who cant cope at the moment.....i hope it gets better... i know it will just in a low place right now.....even though i am so excited about bubba.

Sorry for massive essay! lol! just thought id get some stuff off my chest....

 

[scottishlassie]

hiya mummylou, no problem about the essay! type away! Luckily i have been off tablets for about a year, but i know how tough it is suddenly dropping your tablets, i hope your okay hun. In the past i often stopped my tablets suddenly and it made me so much worse, had my psychiatrist trying to explain to me how i coped better on tablets so many times. I had to cut down bit by bit once i was stable, to get off my tablets safely. Thats good your getting CBT, i'm going to see my gp and going to mention therapy as well.

Please don't feel like a failure for having time off. Your top priority is your baby, and its good your having this time off to relax and just have time to yourself to get through this low period without the stresses of work. Also good you have a supportive hubby .

Always here if you need to chat hun xx

 

[SunnyGirl]

I just wanted to offer hugs and support. I've suffered depression and have been in CBT and on pills. I battled a breakdown following severe bullying at work a couple of years ago and spent last year getting better. Now there is another work situation where I am being caused severe stress by my employers and I am feeling myself crumble again and have all the symptoms slowly coming back. I worry very much about how this is affecting baby
So I know where you guys are coming from and I just wanted to say that none of us are failures - we are winners because we battle something so insidious and most of the time can keep it at bay. We're only human so if it comes back, that's not our fault. I recommend going for therapy so much. I am able to keep the onslaught at bay by remembering things about 'warped thoughts', deep breathing, exercise, and all the practical techniques my counsellor taught me. This work situation is just plain nasty and is compromising how effective these skills are but I will get there

This is a great site while waiting for therapy ie it doesn't replace it but it can help a lot
http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

xxx

 

[scottishlassie]

Thank you for your post sunny, it actually made me smile, just to know there are other people who understand is really helpful. I have never had therapy, my moods were very all over the place and i went through long periods of depression, but it was suggested i would be on the waiting list to see a psychologist. I needed to be settled and the tablets helped gradually, but eventually i learned to manage it on my own without the help of pills. Only thing is now i have so many stresses and i felt my mood going downhill again.

I am sorry to hear about your circumstances though at work , i'm the same, i'm trying to stay calm for baba's sake, but i have problems right now. Seems to be quite a few girls on here with work problems, not just tri 2 either.

I'll check out the website too, thanks hun xxx

 

[Bella2]

Hey Girls

Just wondered if I could join you? I too have suffered with mental health for the last few years, although mine has mostly been anxiety and panic attacks as opposed to depression. I have also felt myself going back down that route for the last couple of weeks, I finished my medication in January when we started TTC. After having a couple of panic attacks at the end of last week I saw my doc on Monday, as much as I am disappointed with the decision he has put me back on the tablets. I was terrified they would harm the baby but he assured me that if that was the case he would not even consider prescribing them. I have tried therapy in the past, I saw a respiritory physio who taught me breathing techniques to help with the panic attacks which did help to a certain extent. But that's enough of my story! I hope you feel better soon Scottishlassie (and all you other ladies) at least we are not alone in how we feel and hopefully we can all help each other when we're feeling down. Going to check out that link you gave us Sunny - lets hope we're all on the road to feeling better soon x x x

 

[SunnyGirl]

No worries ladies
We are all lucky that we can speak out about it on here - it's nothing to be ashamed of
We will definitely all get there and yes I am also shocked at the amount of work problems - it sickens me.
And I know it is a cliche but watching comedy always helps me - I end up laughing despite myself and it then cheers me up. I watched Flight of the Conchords the other night and was just so chilled and laughing by the end! There was even a sweet song they did on that one called Cheer Up Murray - aw it was lovely! xxx

 

[mummyloulou]

ITS SO GOOD TO KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE! thank you ladies for being so honest.... it has amazed me too how many people are having work problems too (the route of all my anxiety etc at the mo..... so much so, went out by myself or the first time today, only to the supermarket, but was on my own, and low and behold my boss was there.....she doesn't live anywhere near me and set me off totally... had to go into the jug aisle to get myself together, and also wait until she had gone through the checkout! pathetic but hey....)

just wanted to say to all of you we will all get through it..... its hard at the mo, but if we have done it before, we can do it again, and now we have this little beautiful baby we have to focus on..... and think of them and not the crap etc. that is what i keep saying to myself.... just think of bubba... it always refocuses me at the moment and makes me smile. (soz, not 'preaching' just stating what i am thinking in my head) take care everyone xxx

 

[SunnyGirl]

Aw mummyloulou - I didn't think you were preaching at all, in fact your message really helped! Yes we will get through these tough times and to think of the bub is definitely a great leveller. I feel for you having to hide from your boss - I am the same!! I have had to get my husband to call my work for the last week because I just cannot handle them anymore UGH people can be so evil!! Would you ever treat a pregnant lady on your staff so badly?? How do they sleep?

Work probs = guff times

xxx

 

[scottishlassie]

I don't think you're preaching either mummylou don't worry!

I'm slowly getting through my work problems, the main thing my mum keeps telling me is "stop worrying about what other people think", at the end of the day i need to do the best for my baby and i need to just ignore everyone. Work problems suck like! I had similar issues when i had to get signed off because of depression and things. Again - its just reminding myself to ignore people. Alot of people don't understand but think they do!

My main concern is my baby and making sure she is okay and will be okay xxx