DAMN IT AND BLOODY HELL

[Geordie&Bairn]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Right got that out

Live with in laws went out to put the washing out thought the garden was empty
ok need to put the washing out with screaming child so put collier in the carrier and took him out to hang the washing up he started screaming louder
so i said out loud to myself oh bloody hell what am i supposed to do oh for god sake the washing needs to go out this is so annoing
the put from nowhere James Dad appears OH F*** I think he heard all that

he came over and stroked Collier asking him if he was alright as if id hurt Collier
by this stage collier had gone to sleep and id started to hang the washing up so all was well

ahhhhhhh now i look like a s*** Mam then i look over and Stepmum is hidden the the bushes preening the plants so she heard it all as well

Ian asked me how my first day without james went and if i was coping
he then wnet back over to Anne and i could hear them having a mumbled conversation
when i went over the chat i could feel a vibe in the air and a tone in thier voices
Ian asked me if im enjoying being a Mum

now i feel horible because i voiced my frustration out loud to myself thinking a i was alone and they heard it all and now think im a usless mam

this is the second time its happend last week collier had been crying for ages so i toomk him out to walk around the garden and i said out loud coe on collier please stop crying mammy needs some sleep
and Anne and Ian where sitting on the patio hidden beind the bushes

damn i want my space

Also Anne keep passing her fountian of experience on to me
i have things i want to do ie not use nappy wipes and use cotton wool and flannels and she told me off for that saying id be putting bateria on colliers body with the flannels

i knew this was nonsense but asked me MW and she agreed with me

Anne tell me im holding wrong im over feeding him my breast milk giving him colic that when i take him out hes either got to many clothes on or not enough i cant win
and so many other things its DRIVING ME MAD
And now after this i expect Anne to be checking on me much more to see im doing it correctly and Colliers ok

damn it

please dont tell me the washing couldve waited i have one radiator ad no dryer so when its sunny i need to get it out and i was doing the best i could using the carrier and i did work in the end
sorry im being defensive

 

[dannii87]

Oh my god Sarah! You poor thing!!

They sound like they really need to keep their nose out! You could have said "For f*cks sake please be quiet you little monster" and that STILL would not have made you a bad mum!

You are so far from being a bad mum. In fact, you sound like a great mum.

Life can't stop just because you have a screaming baby, if the washing needs doing then the washing needs doing. If you stopped everything to cater to Collier's every whim you would be SO stressed out. Mum's need breaks sometimes, that's a fact.

I think we'd all go insane if we didn't have a little moan from time to time!

I'd probably say something like "if you really want to help me out, then it would be great if you could watch Collier for 5 minutes while I do the washing" OR "I am a new mum and I am still learning about my baby. I am managing JUUUUST fine thank you and I will come to YOU if I need your help or opinion"

You're doing a fab job, you don't need the added stress of them making you feel paranoid about how good of a mum you are.

xxx

 

[Melly+2]

Dont feel bad hun, there is no need for you to feel like that, your a great mum and being a parent is so har, theres been many a time where ive ha to tell hope to quieten down because i need to chill out, hugs hun

 

[nickilubs]

Every one says things and alot of the time you never mean it or it sounds a hell of alot worse than it actually was meant too.

I wouldn't worry sugar things like that happen, its a bugger living with In-Laws they hear everything you don't want them to and none of the good stuff! Also they sound as if they care very much about you and Collier so that can only be a good thing no matter how annoying at times.

 

[Sherlock]

You are doing a great job so stop thinking the worst about what other people might or might not be thinking.

FWIW I hang my washing out with LO in his pushchair. It means he gets some fresh air and even if he is crying being outside often calms him. I don't want to leave him in the house so bring him along also. So you and I are doing the same thing there

As for talking to your LO, again, normal and healthy. I have running convos with Galen about what I am doing, going to do, trying to calm him down and saying 'Please go to sleep little one, Mummy is so tired' or some such. Its theraputic for us Mums to talk through our feelings. We don't always have anyone else around at the time so talking to LO about it all is fine in my book. Again don't beat yourself up about it. If you say something out loud or in your head, either way I don't think you should worry. They are too young to understand our words atm, and so long as the tone is not aggressive, loud or angry, but calmer, quiet sort of thing I don't think it hurts. I try to stay calm when talking to Galen about how I am feeling as I don't want him to pick up I am frustrated or upset. I find it good therapy to do so and won't stop until he begins to recognise words and so on. But by then he and I will be so much further down the path together those kind of conversations will probably have fallen by the wayside. But in the early weeks I've done plenty of the same things you have Sarah, so please don't beat yourself up about it.

With regards to your in laws. Just take no notice and carry on as you feel and need to. Trying to curtail yourself because of worrying about them will do you no good. Express as you need to and be yourself. You are the Mummy and its no good changing how you are round your son for 2 people who may or may not be around when you are out there.

You sound to me like you are doing a great job so two fingers up to them and let it go. You don't need to add more pressure on yourself worrying about other people. These early weeks are tough, so focus on you and LO and if they are getting to you, take a deep breath and come vent here. If they are not being helpful I'd be polite and say to them that while you appreciate their input on whatver matter, you are happy with how you are doing things thank you. Keep it short and sweet and don't give yourself a chance to get worked up.

 

[1sttimemum]

Dont even worry about it. Im james was screaming blue murder at one point when they wanted to sleep or needed to hang the washing out cos he was wearing his last clean set of clothes.

You are like me and panic farrr to much about what the in laws think. Dazs mum offers me loads of advice, ill listen but i dont like her giving me advice, i like to think i no what to do when really i havent got a clue and then i go home and try it.



Dont let ian or anne patronize you, you no when a child is too hot or too cold. After all you've worked with kids for a long time.

Get this for a laugh, we have an extra freezer in our shed and the other day i was putting something in there, the drawer kept falling out and i could hear caitlyn screaming for me and i was getting all flustered so i just shouted oh for f*cks sake, came out of the shed and there is my neighbour on the patio having a fag how embarresing

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Sarah please dint let your confidense be knocked by them and dont let them patronise you - you are a fantastic mother and collier is happy and getting the best start possible.

Dont let them make you feel bad, no matter how many years parenting she has over you, big deal it was like years ago! (decades ) this is a new centuary and the wholeparenting thing is a bit different to what it was 30 odd years ago.

You are doing amazing and you should le them do things a bit more if they want to help. You have more to worry about.

Big hugs babes

 

[lauramumof2]

Every time they pop up or appear uninvited, asked them if they could hold him for a minute, over involve them.

They will soon be gone

Everyone say things like that. I cant go for a pee in the morning without a audience and sometimes things just come out.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Silly people!
Babies cry! That's just how it is!
You're doing great, ignore them! They aren't worth worrying about.

I talk to Fi all the time, and I've asked her not to cry before.. as Sherlock said, it's just what mummies do! xxxxx

 

[Slinky Sarah]

In a word chick F*** em

You are a fantastic mummy you love COllier so much and we can all see that, the fact alone that you worry so much just proves that!!
Dont let them get to you. Fact is if they were so concerned etc they could easily have come over and said if at any time you want to just have 30 mins to yourself like for a shower or just to catch up with house stuff give us a shout and we will watch him, but no they didnt. Which i think probs means that they arent worried about what you said hun or doubt your ability what so ever darling.
Like whats been said i bet there were times when James' Mum and Dad had to contend with a screaming James when they needed to do some stuff...I bet every parent has been there darling. DONT WORRY!!!

I tell you hun im gonna give you a massive hug on friday followed by a swift slap to make you realise how fab you are!!!

Much love hun and dont worry, if ever your stressed out pop me a text or call and ill call you back (i know your on pay as you go )