Dad already has kids

[gemma2006megan]

Hi everyone

Thanks to everyone thats welcomed me to the site, i hope to make plenty of new friends.

We get our maternity Grant tomorrow so i will be on a big shopping trip, not much to get tho just the buggy and bath set (my partner is buying me a steriliser set as a present..... ahh bless him lol!!

I was hoping there is either mum's or mums to be out there that had there first born child with a bloke that has already had children coz i could do with there support at the minute. My partner dave has been married and has two children from two previous relasionships and i don't know whether feeling jealous about this is good or bad?? being pregnant gives you soooo many mixed feelings i don't know where to start
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[hels]

Hi Gemma,
My OH has a 6 yr old son, and yes i have had simlar feelings.
Everything is great now, but please feel free to PM me and ill tell you more!

 

[nicki]

(my partner is buying me a steriliser set as a present..... ahh bless him lol!! quote]

Hi Gemma,

Sorry, i'm not going to be much help on this subject as this is both my DH's first kiddy but I just had to say I laughed at your OH buying you a steriliser as a prezzie. Who said romance is dead hey? I would hint at diamonds next time!!!!

How often does your OH see his other kids & how is his relationship with their Mums? Have you any reason to be jealous? To be honest, I would probably be a bit jealous if my hubby had kids already as its my first & I would want it to be a special & new experience for both of us & not just me ( can't really find the right words to say what I mean - pregnancy brain strikes again!)

I guess, at the end of the day you can't change the fact that he does have other children so try & enjoy this whole experience & not let it worry you & maybe you could try talking to him about your feelings, if you haven't already.

We're all here if you need to chat.

Nicki.

 

[Sarah babe]

Hi i know how you feel. G - my bloke is lovely he is 27 , im 20 and this is my firstchild he has a 8 year old daughter who we see every other weekend. her mam is a cow and trying to split us up she is so nasty and being really horrible and he has another child who is 4 who he doesnt see any more again to another woman. Sounds bad!!................. i know but he is happy about this one. i am too. i felt jel all the time when i first fell preg and argued all the time cause of his ex with the 8 year old girl she was really messing things up and i couldnt get her out of my head but it was all me as she doesnt bother me now and she didnt before i fell preg. Its ok to feel jel i wouldnt worry

 

[BubbleOne]

My OH has 4 girls from his previous 15yr marriage. He only sees the eldest one who is 18 because his ex wife won't let him see the ones that still live with her. They are 14, 12 and 10. Maybe oneday he will see them all again but this sounds terrible but he has moved on. We have been together 4yrs and now have a beautiful daughter of our own.

I have to say I never felt jealous of them but maybe thats because he doesn't see them.

Everything you said in your post and all the feelings you have are perfectly understandable. You are allowed to feel like that.

Keep us posted on your progress

 

[gemma2006megan]

My OH (and what does that mean by the way lol!!) doesn't see his son but talks abouthim all the time, its not the fact that he actually talks about him that bothers me coz if i had other ids i would talk bout them too, its just everything that happened to his son as a baby OH reckons is going to happen with our baby.....his son used dummies so our baby will, his son was up all night and slept through the day and so our baby will AARRGGGHH!!!
I really feel that this pregnancy hasn't been very special, its been exciting coz of all the new feelings and everything but its something i have done on my own i feel. i tell him about new feelings and bumps that i get and he shrugs them off and says yeah heard it all before off the ex wife!!! We was in town once and we don't have much money so our last fiver i wanted to buy baby vest he sed no coz he's done it all before n if i wanna go baby shopping to do it on my own. Yesterday we went shopping for the bath, sterilizer and toiletries we was straight in and out of mothercare i couldn't look at nothing. and then s**t hit the fan when he wanted to use some of the maternity grant for his own personal habits and i wuldn't let him. I love my OH so much but somethings i just want to break down and cry too.
I have kept alot of feelings on my pregnancy to myself as it feels more special to me that way.

 

[BubbleOne]

OH : Other Half

DH : Dear Husband

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[nicki]

He doesn't sound like he's being very fair to you at all. He should realize that you're excited and this is all new to you & there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to enjoy the experience and that includes shopping.

He'll probably get a shock when your LO arrives & she is nothing like his son was & will prob. change his ways then.

Can you talk to him about your feelings & tell him that as much as you understand he wants to talk about his son & share his experiences with you , you want to learn & do things your way with your baby.

Your pregnancy is special & don't let anyone take that away from you. Men can be so insensitive sometimes but try not let it get you down hun.

Nicki.xx

(p.s OH means other half! There's a list of the abbreviations in the getting started section on here!)

 

[gemma2006megan]

Have I tried talking to my OH??

I stopped talking to mine months ago, he thinks that i am having a go at him or nagging. We don't talk in our house we argue or more like dave shouts at me and i sit there letting it go in one ear and out the other until he says something i really don't agree with. its a long story with me and dave. If i knew a year ago what i knew now i wouldn't be with dave, but i have grown to love him and ignore his kiddi behaviour. When we first met he was the sorta person that sits in front of the tele allllllll day with his head phones on listening to stone roses's with out a care in the world coz he had nothing to care about other then himself. where as i was tottally the opposite i had loadsa friends male and female, i would be out every night either at the cinema or in town drinking, i worked during the day, i made sure i had the best of everything. but dave said if i wanted a relasionship with him i had to give it all up and silly little me went o.k! the minute i went o.k he went into my room cut up all the clothes that i would wear to go clubbing in or that weren't exceptable to wear in his eyes. My cd collection went out the window because he can't stand dance music it has to be the stone roses' or beatles and nothing else. and within the year thats just gone dave has slowly moulded me into this stay at home person who only goes out every other wednesday to do the shopping with her mum. I don't know what am moaning for because i suppose i have let him do it, but am not the sorta person to say no to things or stand my ground. babble babble babble i could go on for ever.....i think i should write a book hmmmmmmm *sits and thinks for 5 mins* wouldn't know what to call it tho! maybe " how to get tied down in 5 easy steps" ha ha ha!!!

 

[gemma2006megan]

had midwifes app. this morning and she's told me i am anemic i asked her what that is and she sed its low blood count...which is what?? she sed it could be a problem when i go into labour.....does stress bring it on? not eating proper? lack of iron?

 

[Kas]

Hi gemma my OH has another son, hes now nine, i didnt get jelious of him but he did of me, and he was gutted that his daddy was having another baby. He caused wars between me and my OH as he kept banging in to me and refusing to speak to my when i was preg. My babys 12 weeks old now, and my OHs EX has stopped contact with his son even though we had been in court the past two years tryin to get parental rights, as his ex became a right cow and used his son as a tool. After my son was born my OHs son was good with my son and me, He started to make up stories about me and my OH, saying i locked him in his room and me and my OH wer punching and kickin each other (a Load or rubbish), he done it to get attention but it went against him as the court has stopped all contact. You might get jelious after the babys born I did coz my OHs family kept tryin to push my OHs son in to my life and my son was always compared to my OHs other son i drove me mad the always refer to my son as (D)s little brother rather than his name!!! xkx

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

i know how you feel about being preg and feeling like your oh didnt think it was as special as his other child, benrie wa slike that for a while then once i got really big he got a little better but he used otsay how he rubbed (jens) his ex belly every night and he never did that with me.
In one hand i wish he did , and on teh other if he did it might of reminded him of his ex.
but maybe try talking to him i talked to bernie and he apologized but i still felt like taht lots and even cried at times.
but once that babies born it dont matter if he has other children, never seen my oh happier then when they pulled Kiara out of my tummy lol .
i wish you all the best good luck.
Katrina

 

[weestar21]

Hi gem sorry your having a shit time at the mo just wanted to put this in

anemic means you have more white cells than red cells and you will prob be on iron tabs right through your pregnancy. With my first pregnancy my blood count was very low and i had to have a blood transfusion (4pints) when my waters broke and 3 weeks later she was born. Second pregnancy with colby the same was happening although i got iron injections and after she was born i didnt need another transfussion thank god...lol but i am on iron tabs for the rest of my life and they make me constipated...lol

hope this helps a little take care

jean xxx

 

[Sarah babe]

i got told i was anemic and had to take iron tablets for a month i am off them now and all seems to be well xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Strangeness]

My dh has a little boy who he doesn't see, I think he's about 5 now. I'm not jealous becauce I know he's there but I haven't had to see him but it does sometimes upset me to think my first isn't my husband's first. My dh's ex won't allow him to be a part of his son's life and he has doubts that he is his as well so it's all a bit messed up really! I have a feeling he'll turn up one day and we'll welcome him, I think it's a shame that he's not around.