Crying wreck of a lurker...

[kermit_o]

Hi,

I am currently 11 days overdue and am booked in for induction tomorrow afternoon – I know some of you still waiting would be delighted with this, however, yesterday the midwife said that as it was booked for 3pm they probably would not do anything until Thursday.

My dad starts chemotherapy on Thursday and when the induction was booked in I thought the baby might be here before he starts but now I can’t stop crying because it looks as though it wont. It also means not only will my Mum and Dad be out of contact all day so wont be able to hear any news straight away, but also the stress on my Mum will be huge. They live 500 miles away so we wont be in the same hospital but this is the absolute last day I wanted to have my baby on. Every time I think about it I turn into a crying wreck.

I have managed to deal with my Dad being diagnosed and treated while I have been pregnant by thinking a new baby will be great news. He had a successful operation and it doesn’t look like it has spread so the chemo is precautionary – all good news but I think that it has just hit me that my Dad has cancer and is having chemo.

Also, I can just imaging some of my family saying, “well you chose a memorable day to have your baby on didn’t you – we’ll never forget the day Dave (my dad) began his chemo now…” Yes they can be that tactless. OH is not at all sympathetic and even said last night “I don’t know what you’re going on about, you’ve been whinging for weeks you want the baby out.” Yes, his exact words. I feel he has been lucky, I had no morning sickness, no mood swings, at 41+ weeks I can still put my socks on, walk the dog twice a day, and cook his tea but he feels I have been whinging!

I now seem to be in some weird place I can’t get out of, I want to meet my baby so badly but the thought of it arriving on Thursday, the day my Dad starts chemo, sends me spiralling into a depression. Nothing I can do but needed somewhere to get this out before I flood the house with tears.

Anyway – sorry for being a lurker and then going on for so long. (As a background to my lurking, I was in fertility treatment for 7 years and 4 years ago when I finally became pregnant I posted on loads of boards because I was so happy. Then I had a traumatic miscarriage and had to re-post telling everyone. I know it wasn’t posting which caused the miscarriage but the thought of having to un-tell everyone again if something went wrong was too much, so with this completely unexpected (and therefore really special) pregnancy, I decided to lurk until 12 weeks, then 20 weeks, and then 24 etc. and then it just seemed easier to lurk – sorry, I have been laughing, crying and celebrating with all of you!)

Kath
x

 

[Jade&Evie]

Hun I'm so sorry.

My mum has been through Chemo and I know it's not the best day to start it but don't you think your dad will want some happy news when he's feeling so crap?

If I was ill and had something like chemo weighing on my mind I know I would be overjoyed to hear that my daughter had given birth to a gorgeous granchild for me.

Keep your chin up- it won't be long now and I wish your dad and your family all the luck in the world.

Kepp Us Posted. Can't wait to read your birth story (esp. as you have to bring us up to date with your pregnancy too! )

Jade and Evie xxx

 

[chickadee1976]

Hi Kath
You are really having a stressful time just now, sometimes it feels better when you write it down.

My dad is also having Chemotherapy just now. He has just finished his first course and has been quite ill with it.
Heis fnishing up with it in November and im already worried about it because the baby is due around about then so either it will coincide with him being better or getting told that it hasnt worked.
I feel selfish sometimes because im thinking of me rather than him and feel i cant be as happy as i want to be.
All i ca say is the baby will be good news and will perk him up no end with the treatment.
Just try to ignore the tactless remarks best you can. (my mum is a whizz at them just now too)

Big hugs and good luck for when bubs comes whether it be Thursday or not.
Oh and you had better let us know what happens and not return to lurking

 

[kalia]

You don't have to be induced when they have chosen - tell them you want to delay the induction by 3 or 4 days. Explain that there are family circumstances but as long as you and bab are healthy there is no problem. In France your due date is at 42 weeks to avoid the stress of being overdue - your due date is what the NHS has decided, as is your induction date, so don't worry about delaying things. I went 9 days over so I know how frustrating it can be but if you think that in the long run you would wish you had waited then that is the right thing for you to do.

In your Dad's illness there are many important days - when he found out, when he had his operation and when he started chemo are just 3 of them. You say the chemo is precautionary so that means it is a good thing. Your baby being born on the day your dad was made healthy again could be seen as a lovley co-incidence. But not when you're filled with pregnancy hormones.

Lastly, my friend was induced a couple of weeks ago and she had to keep waiting for a long time because there wasn't a room available in the labour ward as it is baby boom season. She went in o the Thursday and had her baby on the Saturday. So your baby might not be here until Friday. Or your baby might arrive tomorrow. There's no telling with these things.

Good luck!

 

[mibiuk]

Hi hun,

Sorry to hear you are feeling like this so near to giving birth.

My husband works with Chemo patients and he would find no reason why you couldn't have the phone number to the ward or department so as to relay to your parents the news of the birth of there grandchild. To be honest I think it would brighten the day not blight it... its not your fault that your induction is bad timing but look at it as a good thing.

Take care
Kathy x

 

[Mildly]

Aww sorry to hear about your Dad But good news that the chemo is more of a precaution

As the other ladies have said I would request a delay for the induction as you feel so strongly about the timing.

Last of all congrats on your pregnancy and good luck for your induction

 

[kermit_o]

Hi - thanks guys. It really did help to write it down and thank you for replying - I am not going back to lurker-dom and will post a picture of the baby (not sure I have a wide enough lens for a 41+4 day pregnant picture .)

I thought about moving the date but really thought that I would have had the baby by now! A week ago my cervix was posterior but effaced and soft, last night it was so posterior my midwife could not reach it for a sweep. Yesterday she said I would need some dynamite!

After a good cry this morning I spoke to my Dad who seems fine about going in and said he will text me the number of the ward he is in etc. and will get my mum to check the phone as often as possible.

Also my Mum has booked to come and see us NEXT week. Baby better be here by Wednesday next week or it will have Grandma to deal with!! Before my Dad was ill she was hoping to come up for a fortnight about 3 weeks after the baby was born but I knew that this would not be possible and was not expecting to see her til August. Anyway she looked at train tickets and got cheap ones for a flying visit. So I still feel really weepy but am trying to turn it around to excitement to meeting my baby and seeing my Mum even if for a short time. She said depending on how my Dad does with the chemo she will try and get him to do a similar flying visit in a month or so as she thinks it will be good for him.

My brother has 5 kids and lives 2 miles from my parents so it is hard to think of them excited about me having mine but guess they are! Also I am NEVER late for anything whereas my family and OH's family are late for everything so guess that doesn't help, baby is taking after them - oh no...

Just need to practice ignoring tackless comments (Note to self: Ring mil for tackless comment ignoring practice, lesson 1) Mind you over the last few weeks my OH seems to have come very good at them...

Kath
x