Controlled crying

[muppetmummy]

Has anyone tried this? OH is insisting we do this with Logan after speaking to the heath visitor to get Logan to sleep in his own cot. He's been sleeping in our bed for the past few weeks after we gave up on getting him in his cot.
Its been 15 minutes of the controlled crap already and I've already checked on Logan twice (went in stroked him, tried to settle him etc) but he is just screaming his head off and Im in tears.
The HV said that he would scream for the first few nights and maybe even be sick! I can hear him now screaming and battering his cot bars.
Hd anyone done this? I feel really cruel right now and like its totally going against my instinct. I would happliy have Logie carry on sleeping in our bed but OH says he's had enough, he wants his bed back and some adult time without kids around.

 

[zebrastripes]

He may still be a bit young for CIO.
I think it tends to work best in small doses with older babies and toddlers.
He certainly should not be screaming so badly that he vomits. I'm suprised at your HV thinking that is ok.
If you aren't comfortable with it,don't do it. it's not worth the stress. If he has to sleep in your bed for a few more weeks,so be it, rather that than the both of you getting so upset,CIO may work like a dream if you leave it a little longer

Until then,maybe just concentrate more on a bedtime routine or soemthing... or investigate alternative ways... the "No Cry Sleep Solution" is good...

 

[muppetmummy]

My HV is normally really good with advice and is supportive of co-sleeping, baby wearing etc so its the first time I've had advice from her that I've thought sounded a bit harsh. She thinks that nows a good time to do it and it will get harder the longer we leave it.
Logan is crying intermittently now, like he stops and waits to see if there is a reaction so maybe it is working, I still feel like an evil cow though, I've never left him to cry before (unless it couldn't be avoided, like needing the loo or something) and I've never seen him cry to the point where he starts shaking

 

[loz]

I have had to do this and sometimes it works, other times it doesnt. It hasnt been the answer to all Emm's sleeplessness, but it does work at times. I can gage whether she's going to go off to sleep by the type of cry, if she gets hysterical I pick her up and try and get her back to sleep - if she's slowing down and intermittent I know she's going to sleep.

Lots of my friends have done it and I think at the end of the day it is better for the baby to be able to sleep for longer periods in their own room and for you to be able to have your space again. It's horrible to start with though. See how it goes and whether it works for you.

 

[muppetmummy]

He's still crying on and off, but the pauses are getting longer, that might just be cause he's tired though. I hate hearing him like that. OH thinks I'm being stupid

 

[happy-chick]

It worked well for us but Ellie is a little bit older, we have tried it in the past and it didnt work so I think its all dependant on if baby is ready for a big step sorta thing.

viewtopic.php?p=1366326#p1366326

 

[muppetmummy]

Thanks for the replies He's asleep now, took about an hour. I'm still crying though, I've never let him get that worked up before and it felt horrible. I'll give it another go tomorrow night and see what happens, hopefully he'll settle quicker

 

[CoreysMummy]

Worked like a treat for us when ditching his dummy!! Two nights MAX and that was it... job done.

Its hard, but stick with it... I hope tomorrow it gets better!

 

[1sttimemum]

I think my PND made it easier for me. Once i knew caitlyn was safe in her cot, i just went into give her her dummy, in the end she was crying for 2 hours. She didnt do it again!!!!!

I do have the video monitor tho and i could constantly see that she was safe.

It is worth it.

 

[beanie]

I could never ever do it, and if it is going against your instinct then perhaps its not the best thing for you and your family either. Like ZS says there are loads of alternatives that take longer but are kinder for want of a better word.

 

[Jenny123]

I just did it with Hannah. I have always cuddled her to sleep at her naptimes but I could just see that I was going to have problems as she should be able to get herself to sleep without having to rely on me being there to cuddle and rock her.

I put her in her cot wide awake and she cried for about 5 minutes, then it started to get quieter and with little gaps in between - took her 15 minutes eventually to get to sleep totally and now she is snoring away in her bed

If she got hysterical though I don't think I could listen to that without comforting her

 

[zebrastripes]

My HV is normally really good with advice and is supportive of co-sleeping, baby wearing etc so its the first time I've had advice from her that I've thought sounded a bit harsh. She thinks that nows a good time to do it and it will get harder the longer we leave it.
Logan is crying intermittently now, like he stops and waits to see if there is a reaction so maybe it is working, I still feel like an evil cow though, I've never left him to cry before (unless it couldn't be avoided, like needing the loo or something) and I've never seen him cry to the point where he starts shaking

Hm,all i've ever read on it says it is actually easier if done to an older child because they are more likely to understand it ,you know.
I'm just so suprised at an HV thinking it's ok for a baby to get so hysterical that it vomits I'm not against CC for older children, but even then, not to the point of hysteria. IMO the child may even become more insecure and restless... but anyway, you do what you are comfortable with. Hopefully he will sleep better tonight

 

[nori]

I cant really give you any advice on this as Ollie is still so young but i hope you feel better soon. Like yourself, i really dont think i will find this easy atall. I just hope i wont have to resort to it when Ollie is bigger..

Claire x

 

[muppetmummy]

Having reread the thread I feel I need to point out that OH didn't force me into doing this, it was a joint decision.

I definately don't agree with a baby or child getting upset to the point of vomiting. I stuck with it in the end because the crying was becoming intermittent and the pauses longer and longer.

Logan stayed in his cot for 12 and half hours last night! He woke up at about 1am and so OH went in and stroked and talked to him and he settled back down. He was awake for about an hour apparantly but was awake gurgling and sounded quite happy, then he eventually went back to sleep until OH woke him up at 10.15am!

We're gonna give it another go tonight and hopefully he'll settle quicker. During the day I'm happy to carry on cuddling him to sleep as normal.

Thanks for all the advice

 

[muppetmummy]

I forgot to say....the first night in months we've had the bed to ourselves we ended up with James in bed with us because he had a bad dream!

 

[zebrastripes]

Having reread the thread I feel I need to point out that OH didn't force me into doing this, it was a joint decision.

I definately don't agree with a baby or child getting upset to the point of vomiting. I stuck with it in the end because the crying was becoming intermittent and the pauses longer and longer.

Logan stayed in his cot for 12 and half hours last night! He woke up at about 1am and so OH went in and stroked and talked to him and he settled back down. He was awake for about an hour apparantly but was awake gurgling and sounded quite happy, then he eventually went back to sleep until OH woke him up at 10.15am!

We're gonna give it another go tonight and hopefully he'll settle quicker. During the day I'm happy to carry on cuddling him to sleep as normal.

Thanks for all the advice

Oh I hope you didn't think that I thought you would leave him until he chucked up (that's a confusing sentance lol)

I knew you wouldn't...just can't believe a medical professional would think that's alright you wonder what they were taught during their training sometimes.

Glad Logan is settling

 

[tinkerbell*]

We used it with Theo and he is younger then your LO. however he have video monitors so i could see him all the time, it look 2 night of him crying, Max was 15mins (but we never let him get hysterical) if he did i went and picked him up, cuddled him and put him bk down, usually this is all it took. now since 3months old Theo goes in to his cot and takes himself off to sleep. no tears at all. he is much happier for this and although it took about 1 week of tears (and not very many) its saved alot of tears at bedtime in the long run!
however every baby/child is different. some it works for... some is does not!

 

[babynumbertwo]

We had to do this with our first child - i think she was about 8 or 9 months and nothing else had worked. I thought that it was called 'controlled' crying because that's exactly what you do - i.e let them cry for a few minutes then comfort them, leave the room and keep repeating until they're asleep. That way they are learning that they have to go to sleep in their cot but they don't feel abandoned. Personally, I didn't think it was cruel as I felt I was going in regularly enough to reassure her - but I think if I'd left her more than a few minutes i would have felt uncomfortable with it. She was sleeping through after 3 nights of doing this. I think it's all down to personal choice and not doing anything you're not happy with. Some people hate CC, some swear by it!

 

[muppetmummy]

Logans slept all night in his cot the past couple nights, for 12 hour stretches! He's in James room too, so he's not even in our room anymore!

I've had to relax the controlled crying a bit as he's teething and has sore gums which are bothering him. I've been staying with him for longer, holding his hand and stroking his head. Have had to pick him up and rock him a few times too. I had to stay with him on and off tonight for almost an hour and give him calpol, but I'm sure he was crying because of his sore gums rather than not wanting to be in the cot as he was half asleep.