Comfort me before I CRY!! :(

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by Kerrieanne, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. Kerrieanne

    Kerrieanne Well-Known Member

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    Throughout my pregnancy, hubby hasn't been that interested in my growing bump.

    I've always wondered why but never said much. I know all men are different like women are. Some women hate their pregnant bodies, even the whole pregnancy and some men love pregnant women and others just don't.

    The men i know (friends/dads) love a bump and some of my male friends sometimes rub my bump which always takes me back because i'm not used to my own hubby touching it. I don't mind people touching it i just sometimes wish it was my hubby and not my friend.

    I was thinking today, maybe he just finds me unattractive. So i casually asked him...

    He said he doesn't not like it but he is looking forward to me going back to my normal self. I didn't initially take offense at this but now i can't stop thinking about it. I asked him a final time if he thought i was unattractive and he didn't say yes or no but didn't look at me in the eye either and changed the subject.

    Now i feel all emotional and i feel like i don't want to get undressed in front of him. I know i will have to say something again soon to him but i'm afraid he is going to tell me the truth and tell me i am really unattractive.

    I know it's my hormones but i feel like i want to go upstairs and lock myself away and have a good cry :'(

    Can anyone relate to this on here?? I do hope not!
     
  2. vickib_1984

    vickib_1984 Well-Known Member

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    Babe some men just don't like it........my husband however does but others just feel like its an invasion when baby is here things will go back to normal for him it probably freaks him out a bit and doesn't know how to deal with it don't get upset xxx
     
  3. jules84

    jules84 Well-Known Member

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    I think if he's not shown it up to now then its just his personal preference , and he seems to have been quite respectful.

    I would say though , personally I wouldn't fancy my husband if he gained a lot of weight, i would love him but i wouldn't find him AS attractive, so it doesn't mean he doesn't love u, bump or baby.

    hugs xxx
     
  4. hugsy

    hugsy Well-Known Member

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    aww hunnie sorry its upsetting you so much but while my oh does love my bump know plenty of men who hate ed there wifes being pregnant, and one even pointed at his wifes post birth body in the hospital and said uggggg what that, meaning her saggy belly that was still a bump cos he expeced it to be flat straight away, but it was just a typical male reaction he didnt mean t to be offecsive and im sure your oh doesnst mean to be offecsive to you he just happens to be one of them who are not into it

    try not to let it get to you too much xxx hugs
     
  5. My1stBaby

    My1stBaby Well-Known Member

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    Awww thats not nice that you feel like that! He could have been a bit more tactical in what he said. I know my Oh isnt keen on my new body but he does love bump. He just sees me in a different way now- loving rather than sexy! but im hoping my body goes back to normal after and he will go back to seeing me as sexy!!

    Try not to get too upset, I can see why you would be sad about it but I think alot of men struggle to find it attractive! I know i would find it difficult if my OH put on a couple of stone!

    Hope you start feeling better soon :)

    xxx
     
  6. JJ Mum

    JJ Mum Well-Known Member

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    Ahh hun, my husband was never sure of my bumps, he would never touch it, and I'd grab his hand and make him so he could feel baby moveing, he would cringe and smile and go erghhh no!!

    It has never stopped him loving his babies and once they come out it's a very different story, so really don't worry about it.

    I also agree with something someone else said, my hubby is 18 stone! and I'm 9 and a half stone, and I would really like him to loose some weight, but he has no interest in loosing it, so he doesn't, I don't love him less, but do think I would have more fwooorrrr factor once he was slimmer again. I always felt he gained my pregnancy weight, for each of my kids and kept it after, where I lost it!! Juost wait till for him to come running when your bump is out of the way.
     
  7. Kerrieanne

    Kerrieanne Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies. I'm not angry at hubby just having a little feeling sorry for myself day. I'm quite slim and haven't put any weight on apart from my bump, naked it looks kinda odd as I'm still the same me but with this massive belly. I love my belly and even more so what's inside so I'm trying not to be too sensitive here, it's just my hormones talking!

    Good nights sleep and I'll feel better tomorrow hopefully xx
     
  8. Verity2011

    Verity2011 Well-Known Member

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    Awwwwww honey! I'm sure you are positively gorgeous and glowing. And I don't think OHs are funny because of the weight (as you said you are slim with a pregnant belly) - I do think some of them just find pregnant bellies weird. I think they're beautiful, but loads of guys (and some of my female friends) find them really weird. But other guys seem to think it is a super turn on! LOL

    I really understand why you feel upset though sweetie. When our bodies go through such a massive change which is necessary, it doesn't matter if you love your body, you still want that reassurance from your partner and if they don't give it to you well that's pretty crummy! I have pretty much told my DH that he needs to reassure me and be affectionate, because it really isn't that much to ask especially considering all the stuff we have to do in pregnancy! And they're partly the cause of this whole thing so they should suck it up and get on board with their lovely pregnant ladies! I really hope you feel better hon but I honestly don't think you're being too sensitive, I really understand xxxxx
     
    #8 Verity2011, Jan 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2012
  9. Zoeox

    Zoeox Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure you look beautiful with your bump. Some men just really don't like bumps. I don't think my OH is bothered too much about the big belly and everything else that comes with pregnancy, we just joke around about it, which I don't normally do when it comes to weight, but OH never ever touches my bump and only occasionally asks how baby is etc etc, I don't think some men quite understand until the Lo actually arrives, Hope you are feeling a lot better this morning :) Xx
     
  10. Nurse 26

    Nurse 26 Well-Known Member

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    I think pregnancy is such a different experience for men, my OH does not bother much with my bump, i think he even avoids touching it sometimes, they just find it so strange. Sounds like your hubby just handled it badly when you asked him about it, hormones def dont help either, its hard when your body is changing so much :hugs: xx
     

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