Careful what you confide!

[Tiny Sue]

Hi guys...just a friendly word of advice when in these moods....

My first pregnancy and my worst symptoms so far are blues and anxiety (yup it turned up). I suffer from a mild anxiety disorder anyway which was always more pronounced at that time of the month and lately had taken the form of relationship worries - like why I married my husband and if I really loved him and all that kind of blather. OF COURSE I love him. I love him to bits. But on a day when you're tired, fatigued and down, and these doubts come at you, you get scared. My husband is used to dealing with this.
But yesterday I said...something awful...something I can't take back, and even though I did straight away, and talking about it made me feel better, I don't think I should have shared with my hubby. He was really hurt though he tried not to show it and now I'm WORRIED (what's new) about whether I've damaged us permanently or not. I've been kicking myself all day. I know he loves me, and I hope I haven't jeopardised that. I feel...so regretful. I bought him flowers and he was really sweet, but nothing can assuage my guilt I guess. I've apologised and all...just don't know what the best thing is to do.

Just a word, guys, if the blues are getting to you, let them pass before you have to share the horrible thoughts.



Sue

 

[newbump]

Hi Tiny Sue,

Wow it must have been something really bad, Im sorry to hear you are worrying, thats the last thing you need right now, you are both meant to be really happy and enjoying whats happening to your body. I hope you can work out whatever it was that happened, love can be very powerfull, and overcome many things.

take care
Natalie x

ps if you want to chat personally im a good listener, pm me if you need to scream and rant and just get your blues off your chest x

 

[Layla]

im the same at the mo, im having very horrible feelings towards my partner, one that i cant seem to cntrol, i was going to have it out with him tonight, but im thinking now maybe i should wait a bit

 

[Rosieroo]

Wow this post is really at the right time. I rang DH at work to ask him to get some takeaway on his way back (at 5pm). We've no food in the house at all. I've lived on 10 potato wedges and a packet of quavers today and I am starving. I said we could get take out then go Tesco as I am that starving I need food now. He works about 10 mins away and is still not back, he said he'd got Tesco first, which means by the time he gets back and we cook the food it's going to be late and I am hungry NOW!! Plus I've been stuck in all day, and whilst Tesco isn't the ideal Friday night out, it's still gets me out of the bloody house!

Sounds like his car out front.....

 

[Layla]

update: me and my other half still are not talking, we have hardly said two words to each other since he got home at 3pm this afternoon.
I was just about to say something and try to sort all this out, when he sulked off upstiars and is now laying in bed watching tv.

im so mad!! i have reached the end with him now, i just dont know what to do, his mum brought us a £300 fridge freezer last week, and he brought my kids( from a prevoius resltionship) bedroom furniture yesterday, and a few days ago he took out a loan so we could get married, he didnt even ask me or discuss this loan with me, just went right out and got one!
so i feel altho i dont want to be in this relationship anymore, i hve to coz of the things he and his family has brought. im stuck!

im also thinking now, i wish i wasnt pregnant, things would be so much easier

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hey people

All is well! He came in and hugged me and I looked into his eyes and said..Can we forget yesterday ever happened, ever? And he smiled and kissed me and said ..of course...never happened....yesterday? What yesterday? And I loved him so much that I almost jumped him then and there!
I'm so happy all of a sudden I want to cry! yeah, yeah, hormones, I know.

Layla - I got him this book in the library called "The Bloke's Guide to Pregnancy" as a sort of joke, but he's reading it...and I picked it up today and saw that some women go off their partners altogether during pregnancy, it usually only lasts a few weeks and is perfectly normal. Hope that helps....never read that in any of MY books. It's a really good book actually, all direct and so totally unsoppy...unlike a lot of the mummy books. Just the facts. But hey, it really helps to read.

Hope that helps
Love Sue

 

[Layla]

im glad things are ok with you now sue
im really pleased for you!
xxxxx


i dont think any book will help me tho, i feel so stuck right now in a place that i just dont want to be in, i have never felt like this and i hate it, im trying so hard not to cry right now coz i dont want him to see me and get all funny, coz i know i will just come right out with it and tell him to go!

but i cant, hes done so much for me and my kids, i feel like a prize bitch but i cant help the way im feeling

 

[Rosieroo]

And there's me moaning about my tea

DH didn't go Tesco, spent all that time trying to get me an Indian......Ahhhh.

 

[Lisa J]

hello ladies
i was so bad yesterday i told my DH that i hated him and i wanted a divorce and an abortion which is the worst thing i can poss think off, i love him and this baby more than anything!!!!
i hate hormones!

 

[Tiny Sue]

Layla, don't say anything you'll regret hun. You are hormonal and that's all... think back to the day you two met, think about all the fun you're going to have, keep positive. Oh I wish I was there so I could hug you!!!! Go up and gently tell him you're feeling low and can you cry on his shoulder....he'll be there for you, if he's any good at all.

Love and Luck to you hun.

Wow Lisa....and you know, I thought I felt bad! *HUG* you must have been one bag of nerves....are you okay now?


Sue

 

[s]

Tiny Sue,
My heart goes out to you but it sounds like you have an understanding husband who must surely realise that your hormones are all over the place. We all say stuff we regret. Give it time and everything will be okay.
Take care,
S

 

[Lisa J]

hi tiny sue
yeah i am ok today when i was feeling better we sat down and talked and i told him i was soooooooooo sorry he understands and keeps giving me big hugs. i can't believe i said it though!!
love my tummy and my hubby
xxxxx

 

[Rosieroo]

I think sometimes when you are worried about things, like I've been stressed about work and whether the baby is ok, you end up taking it out on the people closest to you, which ends up being DH is my case. I've said some nasty things lately, which I don't mean, but I think he understands its just down to all the stress and hormones. I do feel bad though as I am signed off of work at the moment and somedays I am so tired I haven't even made his tea for when he gets home from work, my mum has a go when I don't and it makes me feel so bad that I can't even appreciate him enough to do that. Just at the moment it's a struggle to leave the sofa, I think I am a bit depressed.

 

[futuremum]

hi all!

I know what you mean!!! I told the same to my boyfriend, that i wanted to leave him and have an abortion. Our relationship has not been easy but we talked for hours for days. the thing was that i kept all my feelings for myself because each time i was trying to talk to him, he was not listening. With the hormones and all that I just lost it and told him the bad news. I did realise that i still loved him and although our relationship is not great and exciting because we NEVER go out from the house, i know it is not that bad. Anyway, he realised what happened and i told him all my fears and worries, what i could/could not feel for the baby and since then, things have been better.
But i know what hormones can make you say or possibly do and you can regret it!
But still talk to your partner about what you feel before you go mad otherwise you can regret some of the things you say. And they don't feel left out when you include them in your worries!

 

[HayleyB]

I had a moment with Graham yesterday, i managed to upset him without even realising that i'd done it... he was being quiet and sulking... he wouldn't talk to me, so i went upstairs and cried, and eventually he came up and we had a chat....

I think I just needed a good cry to stop me being a b*tch!

Before bedtime he asked if i wanted anything and I wanted him to come in the shower with me, and he massaged my back, and he massaged my tummy too, and i thing that helped bring us back together!!!!

He brought a book from Waterstones the other week called "from lad to dad" and I think thats helped him a bit!!!

Hope you're all ok xxxx

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hi guys...

things are much better we've patched it all up and it's been forgotten. We are more in love than ever! he keeps dancing around the place going "we're having a baby, we're having a baby", crazy loon. We went to a comedy festival at the weekend and I was feeling poorly cos I have the flu, and he even offered to just stay in teh guest house with me and not go out at all after driving for three hours and paying 150 euro for the tickets for three separate shows. We didn't cos I wouldn't hear of it but he wasn't even going to drink so that he could drive us home if I needed to go.

One thing though...I've been swearing a lot lately...usually a very ladylike miss (oops mrs) and been swearing like a pirate lately...naughty me....

Sue

 

[Tara & Liam]

Hi all

Thank God for this website. I thought that I was the only person going through this. Every single little thing that DH does aggrevaites me. He is always moaning about this little ache and that little ache and I just feel my temperature rising.

He doesnt seem to realise that I havent always got the energy to play with our 3 year old (joshua). Sometimes i dont want to take him to the park. I just need to sit down and relax, and watch tv with Joshua.

Good luck everyone especially to Layla.

xx