can't get over my 1st baby

[mummy26]

hi, i joined this forum a month ago and its been absoloutly brilliant to be honest i think the ladies here are more informative than the docs!
i had 2nd miscarriage a week ago at 12wks.

however i feel kind of ok about it but the problem is i keep thinking bout my first m/c that was at 20 weeks and it was a boy. i had this m/c in march and thought i was coping and tryed for another one but lost that. however its the 1st baby i keep thinking about, i find i cant visit his grave anymore and thats killing me with the guilt coz everytime i go i find my entire day is hard to get thru.
another prob is actually talking bout why it happened. the hospital results showed clotting of the cord and restricting oxygen to baby and dats all they gave me i wish i asked for more info coz then i could get on with life.

i keep thinking i have one of them clotting disorders the internet can make u paranoid. with second m/c they aint gonna bother investigating.
im thinking wat bout 3rd time wats gonna happen.
was also thinking if any of you ladies are familiar with this issue coz i know ppl who have had m/c but nothing bout clotting.
any advice appreciated...so sorry bout long read but this forum really really helps me get by!

 

[happy-chick]

Im so sorry about your losses

I cant really help you with the clotting and reason why this may make you miscarry, have you asked your GP maybe to explain things to you again or even the consultant that you we're with at the time?

Have you tried counselling or anything simular, it may help you to talk about things and understand them better? Any loss has a massive effect on our lives, counselling may help you deal with your losses better?

Good luck, sorry i couldnt really help more

 

[Steelgoddess]

First im sorry about your recent MC.

Tbh im not surprised your still pretty cut up about about your first loss, if it was your first ever pregnancy that must be even harder...

Although you cannt visit your LO you can still think about him in your thoughts and by living your life happy. if that makes sense?

i really think you need to talk with a professional from wither the hospital or your doctor. I personally feel although you have only had two your first was a uncommon miscarriage because it was rather late. I t hink its good they have given you something to go by but what assurance are they giving you for future pregnancies??

I hope you get the answers you are looking for

 

[mummy26]

hi, thanks for your replies. my 1st pregnancy was perfect went smoothly until delivery time my labour lasted good 40hours! they kept sending me home saying i was in early stages even though i was crying with pain my son was facing my spine so ended up with c section found that traumatic.
with 2nd preg everything fine again until 20week scan they found my baby wasnt growing as much but told me not to worry and called me in next day thats wen they told me there was no heart beat. that was a shock and a half. and i had to be induced and go through labour but at least i got to hod him, he was so tiny only 100grams but so perfect.

the 3rd pregnancy didnt even make it to 1st scan at 12weeks started bleeding. i didnt bleed in any of my pregnancies and ended up losing it.
my sons 3yrs old so at least i have him but the urge to have another lingers on but i couldnt face a 3rd m/c.
i find counselling hard coz i got my degree in counseling and psychology and can find it hard talking bout my feelings coz i just like listening to others rather than speaking my own feelings.
i had d&c on 15thoct and im still bleeding aint got a clue how long it gonna last but would like to try again.

 

[Steelgoddess]

You will stop bleeding soon hon

that must have been so hard on you.

I think it would help if you spoke to someone although its nice to help others its important we address our own feelings and get those sorted too hun...

xx

 

[miffy]

Hi there, so so sorry to hear of your losses, you've really had a tough time

Like you my first pregnancy was very smooth, no problems whatsoever, and I have a lovely 2 yr old boy.

However this year I've had 2 mcs, at 10 wks. Found out this week that I'm pg again and doc has put me on junior aspirin 81mg per day, which is meant to prevent blood clotting and help blood flow from mother to baby. This is without having done any tests on me. It would be worth talking to your doctor, as there could be a really simple solution that could help the next pregnancy along. I'm also on some kind of progesterone too.

I know you don't feel that you've been given much information, but at least the blood clotting is something to work on.

Again, so sorry for your losses, look after yourself, and if I can be of any help, just pm me.

Emily
x

 

[PRIDDY7]

Dont know whether this still applies but after my stillbirth and miscarriage I was given low dose asprin to prevent clotting and thin my blood and I did go onto have a lovely daughter with my 3rd pregnancy.

I still find it very difficult at times to think of my son who was stillborn at 27 weeks even though it was nearly 10 years ago and I dont want this to sound horrible or disrespectful to anyone whos had a miscarriage as I know they are very hard to deal with but it didnt really affect me for some strange reason and I just picked up and started trying again but still only ever seem to grieve for my son.

I feel horrible having written that and I apologise to anyone who may think I should have grieved for the miscarriage but im just being really honest about how my feelings worked. Good luck with the future im sure things will work out but unfortunately I think you still have a lot of grieving to do. Sarahxx.

 

[Flame]

Hiya

I have a blood clotting disorder but only found out after getting pains in my chest at 8 weeks pregnant, they put me on blood thining injections for the rest of the pregnancy and for 6 weeks afterwards. I have had a miscarriage before my son was born to although i dont know whether that was to do with the disorder.

Please dont worry about having a blood disorder, if you do have one it is treatable through pregnancy and you can still have a healthy baby at the end of it.

 

[Rosebay]

How do they test for such disorders? Is it just a blood test? I do wonder why they can't just test for this routinely- especially if it's just a case of taking Asprin? Are there any risks in taking Asprin? I mean is there anything to stop people just taking it anyway? If they won't test on the NHS for things until you've had three m/c can you pay for private blood tests? Just wondered.

mummy26- I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I think you're such a brave lady, I really can't think how I would deal with losing a baby so late into the pregnancy, losing one early is bad enough but to have actually held them, well.... :'( it's never to late to talk to someone about it though and it might help.

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[Flame]

They only test for it if there is a reason to, i had a clot on my lung so thats why i was tested for it. blood disorders are pretty rare so there is no need to test for them in everyone. As for the asprin thing, its not wise to just take it just incase as it can cause harm to the baby, people who do take it in pregnancy are monitered closely and its not just a case
of takin asprin, i had to have clexane injections for mine.

I dont think you can pay for private blood tests if you have had less than 3 miscarriages.

If you think you may have a blood disorder you could try asking members of your family if there is any history of blood clots.

 

[mummy26]

thanks for your replies i find them very comforting, im thinking of going to see my doctor. but i find them so unhelpful at times my last consutant who gave me my results after my late miscarriage really convinced me that it was highly unlikely id miscarry again and i took his word for it.
i really do think they should have given me more care ie: earlier scans maybe tests during my 3rd preg but i had to chase them for a 12week scan coz it was delayed.
is it my doctor i should address these issues to? just feel they will just tell me im being paranoid and just to try again without them giving me any care or advice for next pregnancy.
i guess i want to try any preventative measure to ensure i dont miscarry again, i know there was nothing that could be done for last miscarriage but maybe something will help. im such a sissy when it comes to asking for help. for my last m/c i posted my symptoms in this forum and got really good advice and i did pester the hospital to scan me earlier than the 10days they gave me and they did eventually.
any advice really appreciated..thanks again

 

[Rosebay]

They only test for it if there is a reason to, i had a clot on my lung so thats why i was tested for it. blood disorders are pretty rare so there is no need to test for them in everyone. As for the asprin thing, its not wise to just take it just incase as it can cause harm to the baby, people who do take it in pregnancy are monitered closely and its not just a case
of takin asprin, i had to have clexane injections for mine.

I dont think you can pay for private blood tests if you have had less than 3 miscarriages.

If you think you may have a blood disorder you could try asking members of your family if there is any history of blood clots.

Ah ok, thanks Flame. I'm just trying to get as much info as I can and I think my mum has at some point mentioned something about her and my Grandad having some kind of blood clotting thing but I can't remember if it was that they did clot easily or if they didn't so I will have to ask her. She has an unusual blood group that I do know as she had to have injections with me and my brother and that came from my Grandad too so maybe that's related to it but I've got the most common blood group so that's not an issue. I shall go and quiz her and my Nan to see what they know.

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[Flame]

I have rhesus neg blood to and had to have anti d injections for that to but its not related in anyway to the blood clotting thing.

 

[Rosebay]

I have rhesus neg blood to and had to have anti d injections for that to but its not related in anyway to the blood clotting thing.

Ah ok. I shall have to ask them about this comment I'm half remembering then.

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[apple-pink]

Hi,
I know how you feel, I miscarried at 11.5 weeks and 8 weeks and I think it was due to a blood clotting disorder, but because I only had 2 reported miscarriages they didn't do any checks.......I couldn't go through the pain of miscarriaging again, and I'm too old now, 40! lol so sent hubby for the snip!.............but after looking on the net I found a blood clotting disorder that is responsible for alot of miscarriages "Hughe syndrome" and its easily treated with asprin.........too late for me now, but you might be able to get checked for it.

http://www.hughes-syndrome.org/symptoms.htm

good luck.
Gillx

 

[tracey 2]

hun just read this and cried i cant say i know any answers or how to really help, as im going through a rough patch as well, i recently lost my daughter at 22 weeks, and before lost another daughter at 13 weeks.

If you ever need to talk at all anytime please PM me hun sometimes just talking can really help. Im sorry im not much help but always here to listen anytime. xx