Breast feeding is "just wrong"

[MattM]

We decided to venture into the M&S cafe for a much needed lunch break and to allow Luke to get a little "lunch" too.

We found some rather nice comfy sofas near the entrance that afford some privacy form the hustle of the main part of the cafe. I unclipped Luke from his carrier and handed him to Debbie and left them to it in search of food.

I was at the self-service area with my tray debating which overpriced salad I should have to accompany my coffee when I became aware of the conversation between two women stood next to me. I presume they were mother and daughter. The mother around fifty years old, the daughter in her early twenties. I caught the tail end of a snippet: "..it's wrong. I don't care how discreet it is, it's still wrong".

My curiosity piqued. I lent into them a little and said "What's that?" with a smile knowing what was coming.
"That woman feeding her baby. It's wrong. I don't agree with it." she replied anticipating an agreement from me.
I fixed her gaze; "Oh. You mean my wife?"
"Oh..."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Well, I just don't like it. I think it's wrong"
"Really? What can possibly be wrong with it? It's perfectly natural"
"Well, it's just my opinion" she said in lieu of an explanation.
"So you'd rather force these women into dark dusty rooms at the back of stores?"
"No.. well.. I just don't agree with it. That's all. I know she's being discreet but I think it's just wrong."
"Yes but why should they be forced to hide? There's nothing wrong in it" I demanded probably a little too aggressively.
Her daughter piped up "Well. I see your point of view, but some people just don't like it".
"Yes, that's just my opinion" her mother repeated
"Well, I think you're wrong" I finished.

At this point I debated throwing my tray down and declaring loudly that I'd lost my appetite. That lunching with bigots wasn't something that I enjoyed. But that would have meant we'd have to leave which was the last thing I wanted to do. Instead I told her it was a "very sad opinion to have" and turned my back on them. My shaking head confirming my disapproval of their small mindedness.

I was absolutely furious. I know I interrupted their private conversation but they were very loudly talking about it and I think they would have said something to the staff if I hadn't butted in. I can't believe that a woman; a mother could possibly find fault in something so natural.

I'm so proud of Debbie and how she's stuck with breast feeding through some plainly awful times in the early days. I'm proud that she's comfortable enough to feed Luke in public now and they both really enjoy it without being banished to rooms at the back of stores which excludes them both from the simple joy of having a bit of lunch while out shopping. The small mindedness of some people could put some new mothers from breastfeeding in public or at all.

Thankfully Debbie is made of sterner stuff and we both wanted to go and squirt some extra milk into her tea!

 

[xJodieLoux]

That really is pathetic. I can't believe some people, how can anybody think it's wrong? Thats what boobs are for, I mean it's ok for some women to go around with their tits hanging out of their low cut tops flaunting themselves, yet it's wrong to breastfeed? What about people in countries where they can't bottle feed, should their babies starve?

Well done to your wife I gave up on bf'ing today and never did it in public but I can imagine it takes quite alot guts.

 

[kelsey]

Thank you. there seem to be a lot of people who think the most natural thing in the world is "wrong"

Debbie - well done to you and you're a lucky woman to have such support

 

[zebrastripes]

What about people in countries where they can't bottle feed, should their babies starve?
.

Actually, the shocking thing is, that in countries such as Africa where they really don't have the money or sanitation to make formula feeding safe, the formula companies STILL market their brands as the best and healthiest food for baby. This results in many poor women, in the misguided belief that they are only doing their best for their child, spending the greater part of the familys earnings on formula, resulting in the deaths of thousands of babies as they do not have the hygeine or the knowledge to sterilise properly etc etc

ANYWAY

I'd be ragin' if someone said that to me...actually people have said that to me and I have been ragin'....just shows how ignorant some people are....what is the world coming to if the most natural thing in the world, a mother feeding her child, is seen as wrong. Thank you, overt sexualisation of women's breasts!

 

[Babylicious]

stupid bints.

 

[Squiglet]

I had a couple of comments on the beach the other day when I was feeding lil miss... But I happily whopped my boobies out... after all there were several women on the beach with their boobs hanging out.. (i.e. No bikini top...all on show) and no one said a word to them...at least I was covering up in some way ... there was a baby attached to the end of my boobs..

Its a really ignorant view to have and considering they haven't actually been able to back up what they believe is wrong about it with an applicable argument only goes to prove that they are ignorant....

 

[drea b]

stupid ignorant woman I love to see women breastfeeding - it just looks so sweet and natural. I always wished I'd been able to feed in public but with the worlds worst latcher, longest feeder and my unnaturally large breast it was never an option and I really would have agreed that that would have been wrong

 

[LisaJ1986]

My god! What if she was sat there holding a bottle in his mouth? Or is that ok? It's wrong if Luke was left to scream as he was hungry because ignorant people knock your confidence and you no longer wish to feed in public!
I wish i was there!!!

 

[charlie84]

Just want to say i am glad you said your piece and stood up for such a natural thing. I hope that if my Mat ever were in that position he would do the same.
Thankfully i have never come across anyone yet who has had a problem with me breastfeeding in public and hope i never do.
My opinion is if you dont like it then dont bloody look

 

[Snuggle]

People like that really p*ss me off

When I see a woman breastfeeding her child, I always tend to look over and coo and smile...they probably all think I'm a perv

 

[flowergirl]

BIG CHEER FOR MATT!

Well done you for so eloquently belittling that stupid, ignorant woman! I am very fortunate that I have never come across a negative reaction whilst feeding in public- the exact opposite in fact- I often find myself conversing with people over Kathryn's head as I'm feeding her!

People who find breast feeding in public 'wrong' should at least have a valid argument and even if they provide one, should still be made to feel foolish by the majority who now accept and support breastfeeding.

Again I say BIG CHEER FOR MATT!

Thanks x

 

[lfc_sarah]

Thats DISCUSTING!!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you sticking up for what you believe in

 

[hels]

How really sad.

Good on you for saying something. With my DD I wasnt confident enough to feed in public, and remarks like that would have devastated me. But this time I am happy to discreetly feed in most places. It takes some of us a lot of guts to do it, and narrowminded people like that should keep their ignorant opinions to them selves.

I can't believe that a woman; a mother could possibly find fault in something so natural.

This is just what I thought as I read, Debbie sounds like she is doing a cracking job so good on you!

 

[DebbieM]

Silly old cow. I knew something was wrong when he came back to the table with a face like thunder. I thought perhaps she had stolen the piece of cake he wanted or something (j/k) but as soon as he said "I seriously wanted to smash her in the face with my tray" (can I just add at this point that Matt is NOT a violent person LOL), I knew what it was about.

I so wanted to find her in the cafe and go over and apologise for my lack of thought and consideration and for being the main source of her upset today......

...NOT

I wouldn't mind but I am SOOOOOO discreet when feeding in public. I always ensure I am covered up so as to maintain a little privacy, self respect and just simply cos I dont want anyone staring at my nips quite frankly!

All I can say is that I am so pleased that Matt is the man he is today and that he is so supportive and proud when it comes to breastfeeding.

It could have taken that one comment, one woman, to ruin all my hard work if I wasn't a strong and confident enough person when it comes to breastfeeding. God only knows how hard it was to get to where I am today with it and I'll be damned if one single minded idiot would put stop to me being a proud breastfeeder!!!!

Next time I will squirt them in the face.

 

[loz]

Grrrrr Pity there isnt a kick up the bum smilie. Bet they got a shock when you said Debs was your wife!!!

That makes me so mad, BF is so precious. Welldone you

 

[MattM]

Thanks all.

All I can do is support Debbie which at times leaves me feeling a bit useless. Especially in the early days when Debbie was really struggling with breast feeding. She was going through hell. She was tired, sore and knew that every hour or two she had to go through the feeding ordeal which often left her in tears. It was horrible to watch. I simply couldn't do anything for her other than to help plump up the pillows and make her a cup of tea which made me the St. Johns ambulance of breastfeeding support.

Even now, it's still hard work. Luke demands a feed every hour or two and fusses around constantly making most feeds a bit of a battle. Even though there aren't the latch problems anymore, she still gets pinched, punched and scratched and generally abused! She's knackered and spends most of her time at home on the bed or on the sofa with at least one boob out. But still she soldiers on without complaint.

So I can't help to get riled up when I hear that accomplishment distilled into the stupid notion that it's "wrong". Why should breastfeeding mums be banished to "feeding rooms" like social lepers. Why should they feed their babies in dirty rooms that have seen a thousand nappy changes. To only have overflowing stinking nappy bins and the hum of the fluorescent lighting for company?

Quite frankly if they don't like it then they can look away or better still, find somewhere else to eat. Mums have the same right to feed their babies as these people have to feed themselves.

 

[DebbieM]

Grrrrr Pity there isnt a kick up the bum smilie. Bet they got a shock when you said Debs was your wife!!!

That makes me so mad, BF is so precious. Welldone you

I got a shock when I found out that I was his wife. LMAO! (I'm not actually his wife but it's easier and more effective to say I am in those circumstances) LOL

 

[DebbieM]

Hey, bet none of the thousands passing this view at the zoo yesterday had any complaints about her breastfeeding in public:

 

[monster_munch]

Debbie, I do wish you would ask my permission before posting a picture of me







Go Matt and I am very lucky to be able to say that my DH would do something very similar - it's lovely to know there are some men around that are so supportive
(Even if you are a total pain in the arse the rest of the time... well that's speaking for my DH anyway )

 

[Minxy]

People like that really p*ss me off

When I see a woman breastfeeding her child, I always tend to look over and coo and smile...they probably all think I'm a perv

I sometimes stare too I just think it looks nice.

What nobs, I can't conceive of people thinking shit like that