Bloody abbreviations!

[petchy]

in my notes under the columns P, G, O (protein, glucose, other - referring to urine samples) my MW always writes NAD across the three columns. as everything's always been normal, i have come to the conclusion that this must mean No Abnormalities Detected - am i right?

i'm such a saddo, i always read my notes in great detail after each appointment, and sometimes inbetween too! even if there's only 2 new lines of text in the entire thing! lol

i have also come to the colnclusion that midwives handwriting is only marginally better than doctors'!

 

yeah ur righty petchy lol just had a look in my nursing text book lol you should try remembering some, there impossible

but some nurses use cheeky ones when they explaing to collegues whats wrong with you like:

AWTF - away with the fairys
TF-BUNDY - totally f**ked - but unfortunately not dead yet
BWS - beached whale syndrome
CRAFT - cant remember a f**king thing
FAS - fat and stupid
LANO - lights are not on
MAAH - mad as a hatter


i wont go on, you may get paranoid next time your in hossy lol

 

[Skidoo]

Paradysso where did you find those acronyms? - they're brilliant!

 

[Tiny Sue]

Here is another one...though I think this is supposed to have originated in the American military...

FUBAR - F***ed up beyond all recognition...

A friend of mine once had the ambition of setting up a cafe called
the FU-BAR and Grill!


Sue

 

[Skidoo]

Also SNAFU - Situation Normal All F*cked Up - which kind of describes a lot of my life ;o)

Has anyone got any more of the medical ones though - they crack me up!

 

im a nurse, im just telling you trade secrets of some of the abreviations we use when doing handover on the wards, we even do it in front of the patient hehehe naughty. i wont tell you all of them.

 

[petchy]

lol, i'll remember those for if i ever go into hospital elaine!!! they'll be in so much trouble if they try and use them about me!!!

they cracked me up though!!!

 

[Skidoo]

Paradysso - do you have explanations ready in case a patient ever asks what it is you're writing down?

 

I've only just figured out what Ceph meant on my notes - means babies head is down - took me ages to figure it out!! God bless google lol

 

[Kerry]

Hope this helps!!

What the abbreviations mean
Many women are mystified by the shorthand that health professionals often use. Here are some of the most common abbreviations used under various headings and what they mean:


Length of pregnancy
28+3 (28 weeks and three days pregnant)


Blood pressure
120/70 (the lower figure should not be higher than 90)


Urine
P G O (whether your urine sample contains Protein, Glucose or anything else — Other)


Height of uterus
(This is measured from the pubic hair line to the top of your `bump'; the number of centimetres corresponds to the number of weeks you have been pregnant)


Presenting part or lie
Cephalic (or ceph) — head-down
Br — bottom down or breech
LOA — the back of your baby's head is on your left-hand side and towards the front of your tummy
ROA — the back of your baby's head is on your right-hand side and towards the front of your tummy
LOP — the back of your baby's head is on your left-hand side and towards the back of your tummy
ROP — the back of your baby's head is on your right-hand side and towards the back of your tummy)


Heartbeat or activity
Your midwife may write the number of beats per minutes or:
FHH -- fetal heart heard
FHNH -- fetal heart not heard (which probably means your baby was just lying in an awkward position!)
FMF -- fetal movements felt
FMNF -- fetal movements not felt

 

[Lucy]

Hi Petchy

I also had NAD written in my notes and when I asked the midwife what it stood for she said "nothing abnormal detected" so you're were pretty spot on!

It is like reading in another language deciphering the notes isn't it!

Lucy
28 + 2

 

SKIDOO - WE DONT WRITE THESE ABREVIATIONS ON THEIR NOTES (they are legal documents after all lol) WE ONLY DISCUSS THE PATIENT AND MAY USE THE ODD "NAUGHTY" ABREVIATION IF SAY THE PATIENT WAS A RIGHT PAIN IN THE ARSE WHICH IS 9 OUT OF 10 PATIENTS. I HAVE A WHOLE LIST, THEY GAVE ME A PRINT OUT OF THEM ON MY FIRST WARD JOB, I CAN LET YOU KNOW IF YOU WANT.

 

AAA - Alive, Alert, Aggressive.
AFOL - All Fine On Leaving.
AHOYA - Asshole Of The Year Award.
AWTF - Away With The Fairies.
BMW - Bitch, Moan and Whine
BOBFOC - Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BVA - Breathing Valuable Air.
BWS - Beached Whale Syndrome.
CTD - Circling the Drain (nearly dead)
FAS - Fat And Stupid.
FITH - F*cked In The Head.
FLK - Funny Looking Kid.
FLUF - Fat Little Ugly Fellow.
FND - F*cking Nearly Died.
FORD - Found On Roadside, Dead.
FRACS - Fornicates Regularly And Chain Smokes.
LANO - Lights Are Not On.
LOBNAH - Lights On But Nobody's At Home.
LOMBARD - Loads Of Money But A Real Dickhead.
LIFER - Lazy Ignorant Fool Expecting Retirement.
MAAH - Mad As A Hatter
NAD – not actually done
PITA - Pain In The Arse.
PRATFO - Patient Reassured And Told to F*ck Off.
SIG - Stroppy Ignorant Git
TOBASH - Take Out Back And SHoot
UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury.
WAG - Wild Arsed Guess.
TUBE - Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination.
UNIVAC - Unusually Nasty Infection; Vultures Are circling

 

[lisa31]

Im laughing my arse off here! Im going to print them out in case anyone ever tries to use them on me!

L x

 

if ur laughing now, go to off topic and read my giggle post, i can read that 100 times and still cry with laughter,


WARNING! you may cry or wet urself, so be prepared

 

[lisa31]

I'm on my way there......sanitary towels at the ready lol lol

 

[lisa31]

I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much.

Priceless