bleeding in early weeks?

[Lisa_85]

Hi

I really need some advice. My friend was pregnant and delivered her baby early (25weeks) due to a ruptered placenta. Unfortunatley he didnt survive. and his due date was last thursday.

(i may sound selfish on this part and i i dont mean to be) she kinda shut me out for a while which i could understand because i am pregnant we only kept in touch with txts everynow and then, and on sat i got a random txt asking how me and the baby are, i said we were fine and asked how she was.... to my shock her reply was Me, Partner and new bump are fine.

She was told she would be at the midwifes this week, Scan next week and then after 10weeks she would be closely monitored. This baby was unplanned as she choose to give herself until next xmas before starting to try.

I was only a little bit happy for her and i felt so bad that i wasnt over the moon, but i think the worst has happened and she txt me saying she had lightly started bleeding last night and it got a little heavier today.

Im stressing out for her so much but trying to be positive and i said that it can be normal. she has a scan on saturday. but if the worst happens i know it will hit her hard but i cant be there for her. she only saw me very few times after the last loss and i think more than anything im scared ill be in her face with my bump if she loses this one.

I am praying she doesnt lose it but really could do with anyones advise or opinions.... and as previously wrote i know some of this may sound selfish but i really dont mean it too.

Lisa x

 

[CARNAT22]

It depends but from experience fresh, red, continious bleeds do not bode well.

I am sorry that you feel as though your friend has shut you out BUT please do take into consideration that she is grieving for her loss and may have found it difficult to be around you after you became pregnnat.

I hope things work out for your friend - she deserves some good luck!

xxxxxx

 

[Lisa_85]

Thank you for your reply. I completely understand how difficult it must be for her to be around me. I want nothing more than to give her a big hug but i was scared to see her before and now im even more nervous. I was supposed to be meeting her on Thursday but i have a feeling that maybe cancelled (understandably)

I just dont want to lose my friend but completely understand she may not want to be around me at the moment.

xx

 

[Sunbeam638]

It's a really hard situation for both you and her. But a strong friendship sometimes having to stay distant until she is ready. I'm sure she is super happy for you but imagine seeing you & bump probably brings back her own situation which might be too much to bear for her but the last thing you should think is that she isn't happy for you.

You sound like a good friend be there on the end of the phone and you are doing all you can. My friend sent me a card when it happened to me, it was really lovely.

Pg & others loss is hard just because of hormones & emotions really mess with our heads! Send a card or something to say you are thinking about her? If she takes it the wrong way well you are damned if you do and damned if you don't but if she is a good friend she will appreciate it xxx

 

[dyscochick]

oh, what an awful tough situation, i real hope her new bean is a sticky one, it maybe that because its not so long after her pervious one that the bleeding is old blood or unrelated. I do hope so. Like sunbeam said, just give her time, maybe text her let her know you're thinking of her and if the worst does happen give her space and recognising that you might be able to be there is tough but really empathetic of you. she'll come to you if she can and your friendship will survive if you are aware of her feelings i'm sure!
hope it works out xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Any news from your friend OP?

xxxx

 

[Lisa_85]

i spoke to her yesterday and asked if she was feeling any better, she kept it short and brief and told me she had really bad cramps like periods and that she has a scan on Sat.

I didnt want to ask if she was still bleeding and i assume because she didnt say it had stopped it hadnt.

She is the kinda girl who is open about eveything, she told me all about her labour with the LO she lost and how she was close to death etc... and normally i can ask her anything at any time, but i just cant bear to ask her anything right now. Im keeping my distance whilst still trying to be there, but its hard, i dont want her to think i dont care but i dont want to go on about it asking how she is.

I think for now my plan is to give her space and ill speak to her Saturday evening when she has had time after her scan. Its the after part that im not looking forward to.. even if its all good news and its just a constant worry all the way through. She had pre eclampsia with the last one and im sure they believe you get it with every pregnancy, but she had it so early too.

Ive never had to worry through my pregnancy and i cant help but be shitting myself for her.

Thanks for asking and im sorry about the rambling.

xx

 

[Corrinne37]

sounds really awful for her, update us how her scan goes on saturday. xxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Lisa, well I think your a really lovely freind for her, your naturally worried for her and baby, esp after what she has been through. I would ask any questions of her when chatting on the phone, her talking through her worries (esp as you say she is soo open) is going to help her actually. I would just keep stum about you and your baby news. If she wants to ask she will do, and it's not that she doesn't care , she is just in a tight space right now, all she needs is your input via phone (less bumpage in her face) and you checking, txting , making she she is ok or needs anything. again if the worst happens, she may disapear for a while, back into her bubble, but again give her time, you are doing all you can for her. Send her a freind card , to let he know your there for her anytime, and tell her in it, you will let her be , and ask her to just shout you when you want a chat or anything, thats all you can do, she will know you care.

 

[Lisa_85]

Thank you for your reply JJ Mum.

I will txt her today. Im shopping this weekend so will get her a blank card so i can write a personal message.

i appreciate everyones replies and i will update on Monday

xx

 

[Lisa_85]

Hi ladies.

I just wanted to update letting you know my friend lost the baby. That was litterally her message to me and she hasnt replied to my message after.

Im going to give her a couple more days before getting back in touch with her.

xx

 

[CARNAT22]

Hi ladies.

I just wanted to update letting you know my friend lost the baby. That was litterally her message to me and she hasnt replied to my message after.

Im going to give her a couple more days before getting back in touch with her.

xx

Awww - crappy news Lisa.

Maybe pop her a message and let her know that you are there if she needs you, and just check in every few days with a quick text or email? Let her know she can reply when she feels ready but you are on hand if and when she needs you.

Maybe you could send her some flowers (or just leave a bunch on her doorstep)

xxxxxxxxxx