Birthing Partner Problems!

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by BKR123, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. BKR123

    BKR123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Messages:
    524
    Likes Received:
    0
    Right from the start me and my partner have wanted it to be just us - as it is both of us who made her so we want to share the moment of her arriving together. Our parents are more than welcome to be in the waiting room but in the actually room just the two of us. However now my sister seems to think I want it to be me and her! I'm not even that close to my sister and as some of you might now she definitely stresses me out more than anything!! She seems to think my boyfriend doesn't need to be there because I 'asked' her. I have never asked her, or have ever given her the idea that I might want her to be there, because I really don't. I have no idea how to tell her I don't want her there without causing a huge argument. The only thing that is stopping me telling her now is that she goes away in 9 days and isn't back until the 7th August - a week before I'm due. I'm hoping I will have her over this time, but knowing my luck I will now go over 2 weeks because I was told I would more than likely have her early! Any ideas on how to break it to her? Or shall I just hope that I have her early!xx
     
  2. k8_005

    k8_005 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Messages:
    3,587
    Likes Received:
    0
    Be upfront and honest. Say I don't want to upset you but my hospital has a 2people only policy and its a special time where a father should get to see his child coming into the world so as much as I love you I want it go just be me and him I hope you can understand xx
     
  3. Titch85

    Titch85 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    2,624
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd tell her, then hopefully she'll have time to chill out and get over it while she's away.

    Or just don't tell her when you're in labour? And once the baby is here, she'll be too smitten to worry about it.
     
  4. SpinSugar

    SpinSugar Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2012
    Messages:
    2,683
    Likes Received:
    0
    Your sister sounds interesting! You are gonna have to tell her, say your partners been to the classes and knows what to do, plus he's the blimmin dad, ofc its his place first!

    Good luck!

    Xx
     
  5. Gemsy

    Gemsy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,793
    Likes Received:
    1
    Yeah, you need to just tell her. Its not exactly an unreasonable request. x
     
  6. .Ruth.

    .Ruth. Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2013
    Messages:
    1,471
    Likes Received:
    0
    You need to just be honest. Tip toeing around it will not solve anything.

    It's your birth and you decide who is in the room.

    Don't worry about other peoples feelings, she seems to be a bit of a nightmare from previous stories etc... just do whats best for you
     
  7. Lydia

    Lydia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2012
    Messages:
    1,620
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would tell her that giving birth is such a special moment to experience for you as parents that you would like to have this amazing experience together with your boyfriend.
    You could wait for her to come back from her holiday but this might just give you unnecessary stress.
    If she doesn't understand it this just means she is not even mature enough to even be there. xx
     
  8. Kelly450

    Kelly450 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2013
    Messages:
    5,311
    Likes Received:
    3
    Be honest hun. Its definitely a time for the babies mother and father to enjoy the babies first moments together. And you will NEVER get to change that if that is not the case. Or.. just don't let her know when labour starts :) xxx
     
  9. BKR123

    BKR123 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2012
    Messages:
    524
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks everyone! I think I'm gonna have to get the courage to tell her I don't really want her there :/ dreading it!!xx
     
  10. Gemsy

    Gemsy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,793
    Likes Received:
    1
    If you don't speak to her hun, you will just be so stressed, and that is not going to help you.

    Or, as someone said, just don't tell her you have gone into labour! :lol: Then tell the midwives not to let anyone else in :lol:
     
  11. Vicm

    Vicm Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would just tell her straight. This is probably the most important, amazing and intimate moment in yours and your partners life and you have every right to want it to be just the two of you.

    Other week I asked my mum and MIL if they wanted to know moment I went into labour even if it was middle of night. They said yes which was fine, then MIL said she would be there waiting in the waiting area. I said no way do I want anyone in the hospital until he is born besides OH as that is just how I am, I dont want the pressure and I want me and OH to spend those first precious moments with him by ourselves. She insited she would be there, I made OH set her straight...now she wont be there till we call her :)
     
  12. Haylian

    Haylian Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2013
    Messages:
    1,639
    Likes Received:
    0
    My sister sounds quite similar to yours from the stories I've read and she's been dropping hints for weeks now about wanting to be at the birth....... It ain't gonna happen cause she stresses me out! I love her to death and I know how excited she is about baby etc but its a very intimate thing between you and your oh and like someone else has said you'll never get those moments back. Bite the bullet and tell her straight out, she can calm down on her holiday :) x
     
  13. glowing

    glowing Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,327
    Likes Received:
    0
    My sister is my other birth partner maily to support me if any needles are involved as the OH goes grey and clammy (lightweight). I did ask her and my OH is ok with it and glad of someone there to let him get a coffee or fresh air if all getting too much. My mother is angling to come but she is disabled and diabetic and I would be more worried about her. (Has she eaten is she comfortable etc) I said she can come as soon as baby is here whatever the time and the same for the in laws.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice