Big decision ahead of me...

[Hope81]

Right so at my 20 weeks appointment my gynecologist went ahead to do the labour talk with me
So you know a little of my background: in my family there are 3 stillborn babies, one my mum had at 6 months (reason unknown) one my auntie had during labour ( cordon wrapped twice around babies head) and one my other auntie had at 39 weeks (reason unknown) all that 18-20 years ago.
On top of that while on med school I got so traumatized during gynecology rotation when I experienced some stillborn births and one maternal death with things that went wrong during labour...
So for years and years I was sure that I will opt for an elective c section as he only thing that I care is my baby to be here safe without really mind how hard it will be for me...
Fast forward in nowadays and knowing that in Norway elective c section is not sth that is gonna happen I started wrapping my head around the idea of a natural birth reassured of the doctors that keep saying me that the baby will be monitored continuously during labour and they will not let anything go wrong with it.
Right so my consultant goes ahead and "considering the circumstances" offering me an elective c section
I roll my eyes get happy then get sad then get worried that sth is wrong and she is offering me that while I know that this is not an option in Norway and I stay there staring at her really lol.
As I was completely lost she got the decision out of my hands for now and she told me that we will reconsider it all when we will know how heavy the baby will be, in what position will be and we will see.
Knowing that I can have an elective c section is such a relief really. I have no idea if I will choose it or not as I doubt that those demons will ever leave me but probably I will go with natural and at the first suspicion even that the baby is not coping c section without any attempts of assisted natural birth or sth.
Lots of big decision ahead of me...

Called earlier the consultant as it hunts me the idea of why I got offered a c section while it's not an option here and the response was you are a doctor I know you know the pros and cons of both ways. I never saw a person so determined to get a c section to get the baby safe here as usually girls that ask for that are only afraid of the labour pains and I also know that as a rule weird and bad things happen to doctors and concluded tell me when my patients tell me sth will go wrong I tend to believe them because 90% of the cases then sh goes wrong...(spooky thing but yes when my patients tell me sth is wrong or I feel like I will die tonight or things like that hell brakes loose usually....)

Right now please don't start a debate between c section and natural. Believe me I know all about both ways...
I just wanted to out my thought here and maybe come back in 2 months and read that again...

 

[maybe baby]

That all sounds very positive, I know loads of too posh to push types and it's obvious to me and the docs that you're not one of those.

Whatever happens you and baby are getting good care there so try not to worry yourself over the next few months and your baby will be safely in your arms soon enough.

Xx

 

[Pinktink23]

Didnt want to read and run, but i thought i would just give you a as it all sounds very stressful. And at this time in your pregnancy its not what you really want... If you need to chat im not far away xx Alice xx

 

[Sarah7]

Sounds like you definitely do have a big decision ahead but it's brilliant that they're allowing you that choice. They've seen you're a rational woman who isn't after a C-section for any questionable reasons and trust that together you'll get to the right choice when you need to.
I'm so pleased for you, given your're family history, that they're allowing you the option rather than forcing you into something you wouldn't necessarily be happy with.
I hope you make a choice easily at some point without too much worry and stress, good luck!
xxx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I think it's fab that they're giving you the option! It's good to know that they're not just like "these are the rules and we're sticking to them"! It must be such a hard decision for you tho xx

 

[Hope81]

Thank you girls I hope when the time comes I will know what's the right thing to do

 

[Karate Kid]

As you are a doctor I am sure you know the in's and outs and I am not going to pretend I know more than you. I am just so glad you are being given a choice and that you and your OH can make a decision which suits you. Please try not to stress too much becase I am sure that in the end you will make the right decision. xx

 

[kra0]

Things will become clearer as the time approaches, you've plenty of time to think this over and discuss with your husband. When the sonographer told me i had a low placenta which will be checked at 34 weeks and if it doesn't move up I'll need a c section I actually sat and cried lol the though terrifies me but whatever is best for baby is fine by me! Xxxx

 

[babyem]

I've been thinking alot about similair things recently..

My older sister was still born (cause unknown/unclear) and my mum also lost another baby which I dont know anything about. There's also a history of infant death on OH side of the family, my SIL lost a baby at 7 months, and our nephew died of cot death too.

Because of what happened with my sister Louise, my mum was monitored more frequently and had to stay in hospital for 6 weeks prior to birth and was allowed home on the weekends for abit. I was also induced. My niece was a CONI (care of the next infant) baby, and SIL was given extra appointments, consultant led care, was induced (some of the reasoning behind the inducement was because she was due right around the anniversary of nephews death) and was given paediatric cpr lessons for her and close family, as well as a sleep apnoea monitor for when she went to sleep. Before I even got pregnant, my MIL told us that we would be entitled to any of the things my SIL was if we wanted as they were told it would be offered to everyone in the family, as yet I havent.

I have mentioned it several times at various different appointments (MW, Consultant) but not got anywhere with it I know that I would prefer to have a natural birth, but its all the other precautions I am most bothered about.

I'd really like to know what happens for you and the care you are given. It would be a great help!! Its hard knowing that my family have already been through so much, and I dont want to worry them by having extra care iykwim? I think they would just assume something was up.

If you dont mind me asking, were you a CONI baby too then like me?

xxx

 

[Hope81]

Babyem I was the first baby in the family so I had no special care. My cousins though that they were born after the stillborn babies had special care. They were all born by c section, had extra scans and special scans beginning with 35 weeks to determine if the cordon was wrapped around their neck. After birth they were kept in the hospital for around a week each and they had ultrasounds and other tests. They didnt get special monitors but I am
Not sure if 20 years ago they were even available?

 

[Loula]

fab news but just goes to show that being in the medical profession you can know too much x

 

[babyem]

Babyem I was the first baby in the family so I had no special care. My cousins though that they were born after the stillborn babies had special care. They were all born by c section, had extra scans and special scans beginning with 35 weeks to determine if the cordon was wrapped around their neck. After birth they were kept in the hospital for around a week each and they had ultrasounds and other tests. They didnt get special monitors but I am
Not sure if 20 years ago they were even available?

Ah ok. Just interested really, I've never met anybody else who was a special care baby. I'm going to have a monitor hopefully, and going to ask MW about the basic life support classes too, which my family will all go to. Thanks for sharing with me, has helped I think I need to just keep asking! x

 

[CARNAT22]

At least you still have a bit of time to think it through Hope?

I completely understand given your family history why you would be so concerned about a natural birth BUT as you know (what with you being a medical professional) losing a baby or mother during childbirth is incredibly rare in this day and age in the Western world. You must have been very unfortunate to experience it so many times during you rotation?

I am a huge advocate of giving birth naturally [she says now ] as it is what our bodies are biologically designed to do... However if someone has a valid medical or emotional reason for not wanting a natural birth then thier case needs to be looked at and judged on it's individual merits...

At the end of the day we all want to do what is best for baby but also what is best for us as well, there is no sense forcing someone to have a natural birth if it is going to traumatise them and make the job inhand even more difficult!

However a woman opting for a c-section just because she is scared of childbirth just isn't on IMO, we're all scared!!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[babyem]

At least you still have a bit of time to think it through Hope?

I completely understand given your family history why you would be so concerned about a natural birth BUT as you know (what with you being a medical professional) losing a baby or mother during childbirth is incredibly rare in this day and age in the Western world. You must have been very unfortunate to experience it so many times during you rotation?

I am a huge advocate of giving birth naturally [she says now ] as it is what our bodies are biologically designed to do... However if someone has a valid medical or emotional reason for not wanting a natural birth then thier case needs to be looked at and judged on it's individual merits...

At the end of the day we all want to do what is best for baby but also what is best for us as well, there is no sense forcing someone to have a natural birth if it is going to traumatise them and make the job inhand even more difficult!

However a woman opting for a c-section just because she is scared of childbirth just isn't on IMO, we're all scared!!

xxxxxxxxx

Totally Agree!!

 

[charliebear]

So pleased you were given the choice Hope.
At least you now know the option is there for when you need to decide or consider your options. x

 

[Gayle30]

I'm having an elective LUCS. I have a few medical issues and was able to speak at length to my consultant today. I have researched the subject extensively and we came to the conclusion thats what's best for me and baby. I knew that's what I wanted and felt so well supported by my team and family so it's made the whole process easier for me. To me phobia is actually very real and adding that to the other things I have it just feels right to have a section. I already feel less anxious and feel like I can perhaps start to look forward. I've been very excited about things and that was my way of avoiding the thought of the birth. My body just wouldn't be able to do it naturally and I didn't want to get into a situation which required an emergency intervention.


I really hope your able to make the right decision for you, I am sure with your knowledge and lots of support you will. Wishing you well. Xx

 

[Hope81]

Thank you girls